You Are the Creator of Your Universe

Sometimes we get stuck in the past. We drown in self-pity and sorrow over making the wrong choices, over not saying things we should have said and not doing things we should have done. There is no harm done in wondering, but there is a lot of harm in getting stuck in regret over believing that a different decision in the past could have spelled out success in the now. The past cannot be changed, so why dwell on it? I know that it is human nature to imagine “better” for the unknown. Time seems to have a strange way of making bad situations appear better than they truly were. How often, when we were single, did we look back at a mediocre or even bad relationship, somehow remembering it as not that bad? When we look through the eyes of desperation, we not only see things distorted, but we see them through rose-colored glasses that are usually nothing more but a figment of our imagination.

All of us have the power to change our lives drastically. The problem is that most people are looking in the wrong places, believing that outside forces determine happiness and success. In truth, happiness and peace of mind do not come from external sources for most of us, but almost solely from what is within us. Sure, other people have an impact, but we determine just how big that impact has to be.

I understand more than most how difficult it is to not be affected by the continuously bad choices of others. It is very difficult to not get affected when people we care about “make” us feel miserable, and either advertently or inadvertently draw us into their reality. It is hard to not react when they lash out at us or mess up our life because they can’t get it together. It is hard to keep one’s optimism when they make demands, put guilt trips on us, manipulate or simply have no regard for us. It is difficult to keep one’s cool when they strike at yet another part of our core or trigger a bad response. For all these reasons, I keep repeating how important it is to allow only those individuals into our lives who actually support our healthy growth. Going through the steps is hard enough as it is, but it can, and for some people is, nearly impossible to change while being surrounded by those who neither support nor help facilitate your efforts and hard work.

In order to achieve a better life, one has to start changing oneself. If we do not change who we are and how we perceive the world, we will keep attracting more of the same. I keep stressing the importance of environment, but the environment won’t change, no matter how far you move and how different of a group you think you may have bonded with, unless you change your own mind. The same poison can have many different forms and shapes. Again, I have experienced just that when I moved across continents. As long as I remained the same, nothing really shifted for me, even though I was in a different country. The people that showed up had different looks about them, but were essentially the same ones I left behind in Germany. The only thing I changed was geography.

Changing my life means changing who I am, sometimes in my very core. The world looks very different to me now, and so do the people in it. Things that used to trigger me don’t as much anymore. Unfortunately, other things I have never noticed before are suddenly magnified. This whole shift is very uncomfortable and foreign to me. I am, literally, on completely foreign turf. This opens a whole new portal of insecurities I didn’t know existed, while getting rid of others that had been lingering for years. Sometimes there are bursts of strength and optimism, fueled by a whole new slew of wisdom, and other times there is exhaustion and a feeling of being overwhelmed when I look at what is still ahead.

I guess what keeps me going are the successes on the way. There are glimpses of true happiness, not the pseudo happiness I mostly experienced. It is still difficult to act against “my grain.” It is different to walk away instead of facing people head on. It is also foreign to understand when and whom I truly need to confront or trust. Turns out, I really fought a lot of empty battles and therefore had an equally high failure rate.

I now understand more than ever why certain traits such as integrity, honesty, courage and loyalty are magnified for me and why I will always be triggered, deeply hurt and turned off by those who don’t possess them. However, as my journey progresses, my exposure to those who hinder my growth becomes less and less. I spend 5 out of 7 days a week actively on self-improvement. I got rid of the excuses and stopped holding myself back. Happiness does not fall on anyone’s head! It is something that is created. Some of us have been dealt a better hand in life than others, but luck does not create true and lasting happiness. One has to contribute to that. And sitting around complaining and mourning the past and the choices we made back then does not create anything but misery.

I wished I could report that it is easy to walk the path of the creator. Alas, the path is rocky, long, windy and steep. What I can report is shorter spells of doubt, sadness, depression, anger and self-pity, and longer spells of introspection, balance, peace, quiet and empowerment. Some report that I appear happy and perky most of these days and that I have my light back. I don’t think I am quite there yet, but at least I am on the right path! Sometimes I still stomp my foot and pout, whining “why does it have to be so hard?” Then I shrug my shoulders, get a good laugh and answer “well, it is what it is. And I hate to tell you this, but you created most of it. Now get your pudding butt into the gym and we’ll talk a year from now…”

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12 thoughts on “You Are the Creator of Your Universe

  1. C.Wright.Thru.

    Infinite/Eternal Blessings and Gratitude!
    btw: the power of intention (your Spirit) has infinite organizing capabilities.

  2. Bernie

    Hi Carmen,
    Very inspiring and good article to read.Life is so precious to cling for the things we have not done and wait for miracles to happen…its time to start anew! Everyday is a new start and God give us everyday a new day to start afresh.
    all we need to do is to reflect everyday,what is good and bad for us,and do the right thing!!

    God bless us all everyday!


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  5. ksemneith

    Excellent article. Thank you. Yes, the Wheel of Destiny is ours to steer. And you are right. On this journey, we have to learn about human wickedness the hard way – through experience. I have learned that most souls on this planet are learning to be good, it is not something that has come natural to them; they are here trying to figure out what may be obvious and natural to others. The blessing that comes from interacting with those souls is the gift of discernment; being able to read faces and energies quickly and effortlessly. The beauty of physical existence is the power of the mind to create experiences, which are truly our wealth, our pentacles. Again, thank you for the article. I resonated with every part.


  6. Jacqueline

    Hi Carmen,
    I agree with you on all points, fantastic article, I have found one of the most rewarding, challenging things that we can do for ourself, is truly looking in-side, seeking after the changes we may need to take to better our life, it is not easy to sometimes admit that we may play a role in the drama the comes in our life, but good news about it, is the sooner we look at it, see it, the sooner we can start to review why we attract certain issues, allow our-self to let go, to be able to live a happy, healthy life.

    Blessings and Big Hugs!
    Jacqueline x9472

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  8. Carmen Hexe

    Someone once told me about the beauty of infinite possibility. It doesn’t matter if you messed it up yesterday, because today you can get up and try again. Each day is an empty canvas. 🙂

  9. misskrystal

    Great article. We really do have a lot of power– and we can use it to change things that are not working.
    You are awesome, Carmen. Thanks, Miss Krystal

  10. chloechloe

    Excellent article Carmen! Thank you for being so honest. Changing ourselves is always difficult, yet the more we work on it, the closer we get to happiness and more fulfilling relationships. I’m sure this article has helped lots of people.

    Love & Light,

    ~Chloe ext: 9421

  11. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Hi Carmen,
    Very good article and all so true. Old habits die hard, but it’s not impossible to change them.

    I like to think of my life as a painting on canvas, every decision is a brushstroke. At any moment, if I don’t like the picture I have created, I can touch it up, OR even start over on a fresh new piece of canvas.
    It’s a visulaization that works for me.

    My Great Aunt taught me a valuable lesson in that she said ” Nobody will ever take care of your home, your car, your clothes,….. or YOU……LIKE YOU WOULD ” .

    So stay in control of your life and destiny, don’t give away your inner power, and take care of YOU. Stop waiting to do the things and make the changes you feel you need to do or want to do.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500


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