Sheryl from Cleveland, Ohio writes:
I am in a very dark place right now, and hoping you can help me see some light ahead worth going toward. I recently met the love of my life. I never believed in this before, but he was my soulmate. He was familiar to me the moment we met, I have never felt so connected to someone, or so cherished. Like two halves of a whole. We were together for less than a year.
Then he died suddenly in July. My world shattered at that moment in time. I am a hole, and will never be whole again. Grief eclipses any other feeling I have ever experienced… and I have faced life-threatening brain surgery, loss of vision/hearing, divorce, and other major fears and losses. Nothing like this.
I have since been on a quest to find spirituality, to believe that he still exists somewhere and still loves me. I have read countless books on the afterlife, the soul’s journey and quantum mechanics, string theory, etc., as they relate to consciousness. Blind faith is very hard for me, but I have never needed it as much as I do now. I do not feel him around me. I miss him terribly… why don’t I get a message from him? Is he still with me? Does he miss me? Does love really survive death? Why don’t I feel him with me?
Please accept my heartfelt sympathy for your devastating grief and loss.
You have been doing everything I would recommend and more to help your intellect come to grips with what happened. Now it’s time to put what you’ve learned to work on subtler levels. If you’re not doing grief counseling, please begin immediately, even if it’s just doing a regular, structured grieving process on your own.
Grief processing is important because your overwhelming anguish blocks subtle spiritual energies. Since your mate left his personality behind as soon as he died, and moved directly into the realms of light, you need to be able to attune yourself to that level, at least for a few minutes each day, in order to feel his presence. It will be easiest and most helpful if you ask your Soul to serve as your conduit and guide in this process.
The love you two shared has always survived death, although he does not “miss” you because you are not lost to him.
Your life is far from over, Sheryl, and it may help you to know that you and your man decided, even knowing you would suffer, that the gift of being together, even for that short time, far outweighed the cost. All of your questions will be answered, and your hope resurrected, once you’ve rediscovered your Soul’s perspective.
I am assured you’ll find those answers soon.