Mary in Toronto asks:
I had an intense but short-lived sexual relationship with a man back in January for about three months. We’d talk everyday, and were greatly attracted to one another. It didn’t end so well, and I’m not even sure what happened, but we stopped speaking. Now after six months, he has contacted me again. I know people come into our lives for a reason, season, or lifetime. Which one is it for him and me? Why now, after I’ve moved on, is he back? If it’s a reason, then what is it I’m supposed to learn? Thank you, Mary
Psychic Red ext. 9226 Responds:
Don’t complicate things by trying to analyze the return of your old lover. Things really aren’t any more in-depth than what you’ve already concluded—he came into your life initially for a reason, even though he only stayed for a season.
When the two of you were first together, he made you laugh, showed you his softer side, and helped you clear your head. You fell for his potential and trusted most of what he said. For that space and time in your life, he filled a void and lifted your spirits—and you did the same for him. Each of you was what the other needed at the time. Even though things started off fairly well, each of you was going through a transitional period. This was not a bond or a relationship that was meant to last forever.
He is primarily seeking you out for a sense of closure, and half-heartedly to see if there is a chance to potentially pick things up where they left off. He genuinely wants you to be happy—with or without him.
If you choose to let him into your life, the second time around will not be much different than the first. If you ever decide that you want a friend with benefits arrangement, all you’d have to do is call. However, he really doesn’t seem like he’d be the most dependable friend, and the “benefits” really don’t seem like they’re really that great.
Since you’re not-so-pleasant parting of ways, you’ve grown and moved on, but your ex seems to be rather stuck in the same patterns and cycles that he was dealing with back then. Sure, he’ll try and tell you that he, too, has grown—but after you scratch beneath the surface, not much in him or his world will have changed. He’s not a bad guy, but he’s also not the one for you.
There really isn’t a huge or profound lesson attached to this relationship, except that it has already run its course.