“People believe what they want to believe, Carmen. And this, alone, explains what they have or don’t have.”
– A Note From the Universe
I think the whole confusion starts with the fact that people tend to believe so many things. And what they believe is usually based on surroundings, teachings, social standards and upbringing. Neither one of these beliefs may actually be based in reality, but that doesn’t make them less real for those who are caught up in them.
Sometimes, people have gotten angry and defensive when I tell them that the power to manifest what they want lies solely within them. They’d insist I was withholding the steps on how to do it. I would get to hear, “yeah, I get that it is up to me, but how do I do it? Why can’t you tell me the secret to happiness?” Nope, this is not made up. I literally got almost these exact words thrown at me on more than one occasion and each time I would repeat myself “it is all up to you.”
In theory this sounds very easy, and I think that’s why people get so frustrated when it’s pointed out to them. There’s comfort in not being able to control one’s destiny, which also offers endless excuses to not be able to control one’s own impulses, responses, words, whims, emotions and thoughts. Apparently, we are all just pinballs, knocked around by life and some unseen force no one quite understands and definitely can’t control or exercise power over.
So the question is, how does one change one’s thoughts? It starts with the determination to do so! One really has to want to change, which usually means they’d have to be at the point where they’re willing to do pretty much anything to make it happen. They must have hit that proverbial “rock bottom” and be tired of their own inauthenticities, stories and their own BS. For those who are familiar with the Tarot, they would have to experience the full energy force of the Tower.
Who we think we are, how we view ourselves, and what we believe we can/cannot do not only manifests in our lives but also is that which others see about us. This is why confidence is so important, and this is why those with low self-esteem work almost as a repellant towards happy and successful people. This is why not only the most beautiful or even most talented person will get the job, deal or awesome partner but the one who believes in themselves the most. Some may whine and say that this isn’t fair. Alas, I never said that living one’s dream is easy. And as I have said a million times before, most things worth getting in life are not easily attained and often consist of an uphill battle; at least for a while.
Success and happiness don’t knock on our door while we sit on our butt, whining about the stuff we don’t have and all the things that went wrong in our past. Our weight won’t magically shrink while we sit on the couch and eat another burger with fries. We won’t get that six-figure salary, while doing nothing to improve our knowledge and delivering the bare minimum, expecting a miracle or hand-out.
It’s human to get beaten down, disappointed, depressed, discouraged, sad and angry or maybe act unkind at times. But what defines a master of his/her own destiny is the fact that this is not their main mode and they don’t remain that way; alas, they are not stuck but free to create what they truly want to manifest. They don’t keep making excuses for why they can’t do what they need to do, they don’t complain about how hard it is and how bad they have it; they simply do. And when they suffer or hit a slump, they do so with grace, kindness and dignity. You can always tell true character by how a person handles pain.
I aspire to be that person. I want to be that person so much that I have undergone not only severe changes in the past years but, most importantly, have worked my butt off. I have been privileged enough to have had (and still do have) friends, managers, co-workers, or other inspirational people in my life that encourage me to live the life I wish to create.
I’m still working on it and I still get it wrong at times; after all, it’s so easy to fall back into my old and learned behavioral patterns. So, “being happy” truly is an everyday choice and sometimes, still an uphill battle.
I guess one could say that true happiness and success is achieved when one finds peace and love for oneself without being a doormat or without taking abuse. In the end, it all boils down to balance within you. Balance is the key to it all.