The biggest problem with asking someone out on a date is that not everybody is willing to take the risk. Women fall under this category almost exclusively, considering that surveys suggest a mere six percent have ever asked a guy out. What you may find even more interesting is that while most women are only moderately interested in every third guy who asks them, they have a 60 percent chance a guy will say yes, if they do the asking. On the guy’s side, he has a 40 percent chance a woman will accept his invitation, which is a big improvement over the zero percent chance he has if he does nothing. In other words, go for it! I’ll make it even easier by giving you five proven dating propositions, designed to work in any situation.
1. Direct Indifference (works well with a stranger or minimal acquaintance)—If you don’t know somebody, it’s best to approach them with a humorous pickup line or interesting trivia fact. By taking the time to come up with something creative and original, you’ll compliment them by putting effort into your approach. Begin very casual and non-threatening, offering a warm smile, calm speaking voice, and leaving plenty of space between the two of you (leaning away, rather than towards). After they’ve had a chance to become more comfortable, as noted by increased eye contact, relaxed stance, and possibly leaning in your direction, you can go ahead and suggest getting together. If the person never becomes relaxed, you can politely excuse yourself, and you’ve done nothing more than be friendly.
2. Indirect Suggestion (works with a stranger to a friend)—Indirectly asking someone on the date, can include smiling, flipping hair, locking eyes, etc. These are all great ways to give someone a hint you might be interested in a relationship, but some people just don’t take the hint. A better way, is to place the ball in their court, by making a comment about something you plan on doing, and when they respond with interest, you indirectly invite them along. This offers minimal risk, and can be done in just about any situation.
You: “Did you hear the zoo is showing off their new baby panda this weekend?”
Them: “No. That sounds cute.”
You: “Hey, why don’t you join me?”
3. Indirect Benefit (works with a stranger to a friend)—The indirect benefit proposition, allows you to disguise your motive to go on a date, within a mutually beneficial activity. This is a great to ask someone out if you are hesitant about the person agreeing to an official date.
You: “The new cafe on the corner has the best cheese and broccoli soup I’ve ever had.”
Them: “That sounds good. I’ll have to go sometime.”
You: “They might be changing their menu soon, so why don’t we go this afternoon? It’ll be my treat.”
4. Direct Empathy/Compatibility (works with a moderate acquaintance to a good friend)—One of the easiest ways to directly ask a person on a date is to demonstrate empathy and compatibility through one of their favorite hobbies or pastimes. People are very complimented when others take an interest in them, and there is no better way to break the ice on a first date, then getting to know them while learning about the things they are most passionate about.
You: “They are having a custom car show at the fairgrounds this weekend, and since you’ve mentioned you love old muscle cars, I thought you might like to go.”
Them: “Sure, that sounds fun.”
5. Direct Confident (works with a moderate acquaintance to a good friend)—It’s harder to say no to a date proposition when the person isn’t actually asking, but rather confronted them with an immediate opportunity. This is great for a confident person who suspects someone may be out of their league, but believes if that person would get to know their personality, they might have a better chance.
You: “I’ve got a crazy idea. Let’s take tango lessons tonight.”
You: “There’s a dance studio across the street giving lessons. I’ll meet you there at seven.”
Asking someone out is not always as easy and graceful as we’d like to hope. However, your approach can greatly increase your chance of success, depending on your personality, confidence level, and how well you know the person. Always keep in mind that your chances of getting a date are never better than doing the asking yourself!