Have you ever had an emotional affair? Maybe you’re worried that your partner was having one. Some couples brush them off as a harmless friendship with a person who might otherwise be interesting sexually – if you weren’t attached.
Yet an emotional affair is much more complex than that, our psychics point out. There’s a kind of attraction, caring and longing for this person that’s far more intimate than any ordinary friendship – even a close one. That’s why it’s called an affair! But is it a true infidelity?
If you or your partner are preoccupied with a very special someone, so special that you wouldn’t think of sharing the conversations or experiences you have together with your actual partner, you may be in deeper than you think.
We asked our team of Intuitives to weigh in – from what they see and hear on our lines – on whether or not emotional involvements are affairs, or just plain “unfair.” Interestingly enough, our team suggests, there are two sides to this rather complex theme.
One thing is sure, our psychics say: many callers struggle with the issue. Sahara ext. 5210 reports that she works with an average of 125 clients each week, and surprisingly about a third of them are involved in some sort of emotionally charged relationship with someone outside of their primary relationship.
In the beginning, emotional affairs can feel quite innocent. The feelings that you have are wonderful, and they give you a high. You have a lot in common with the other person. You can talk to them and feel understood. But they can be dangerous, because some people end up falling deeply in love – as a lot of truly good love relationships often begin with an intimate personal friendship.
“I have wonderful clients who end up in this difficult position. They don’t wish to hurt the partner in their main relationship, but the emotional affair has become their priority. Often they don’t even know how they transferred their feelings,” reveals Maryanne ext. 9146. “If the person you would call if you had really great news – or needed support – is the person outside of your relationship, you’re already involved in an emotional affair.”
“Many of these people are otherwise very faithful, but this very intimate friendship does become an affair of sorts. As their spouses end up feeling less of a connection to their partner, they get less attention, and there is a sense of betrayal,” says Judianne ext. 5129.
“My callers report having looked up an old or lost love just for fun,” Jesse ext. 9027 points out, “and later, they find themselves involved in profound connections they have made online. They become filled with the desire to delve further into the possibilities of what they’re feeling, imagining and wishing for. That’s when they call for help. Sometimes they want to know if the other person involved feels the same way – or what the future might hold for them. Others feel terrible, and want to find a way back to their real partner.”
So what drives people to connect so intimately outside of their primary relationships? Sometimes emotional affairs can keep a marriage alive, because they make people feel valued – or a need is filled in this way. At other times, these relationships can become precursors to full-blown affairs. Some people find these friendships to be eye-opening lessons about what they need to ask for in their primary relationships. But the downside can be distraction. Guilt, confusion, wishful thinking about a future that might involve complete intimacy can result, and these relationships have the potential to lead to infidelity or divorce. That’s a high price to pay for something that had appeared to be a harmless friendship.
“They can be dangerous, but they can also be enlightening and liberating,” Chloe ext. 9421 declares. “Look at what this relationship is telling you about your main relationship. Never ignore or dismiss an emotional affair simply because there’s no physical intimacy. It’s telling you something very important about what you need, what you want – and what you have to offer.”
Emotional affairs can be eye openers, but you need to work on the relationship you have, or you may well lose it. This is an area where free will comes intensely into play. With an emotional affair a revelation is there: usually, such a situation indicates that something deep is missing from your relationship. It’s up to you to decide if it’s worth working on. If not, you must move on.
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