There’s nothing worse than a lazy lover, one who’s perfectly willing to skip the main course to go directly to dessert! What your partner may not realize is that foreplay is an essential part of lovemaking. In fact, long and sensual foreplay is a prerequisite for steamy sexy sex. The more build up you create, the more pleasure both of you will feel come Oh-time. Here’s how to guide your lover to the ultimate roll in the hay.
Foreplay 24 hours a day
There is no such thing as definitive foreplay. It’s not about pressing the right buttons in a particular order. It’s about giving pleasure and creating anticipation – actually seducing your mate all day long. Start building the passion even before the evening begins. Use mental stimulation to make your lover yearn for you sexually. Place a note in their pocket in the morning telling them of your fantasy for the evening. Leave a text message to tell them how much you’re looking forward to their, kiss, their caress, the feel of their skin next to yours.
Den of seduction
Make sure your place is clean, with candles burning (day or night), fresh bed and bath linens, and a fridge stocked with bubbly water, champagne, wine, beer – all can be served in slender, crystal stemwear – cheeses, grapes, figs, pate and other finger food to feed your lover. Put on some Nina Simone or sultry house music. If you’re really ambitious, serve dinner (try broiled salmon with mango salsa accompanied by asparagas and endive salad) in your best lingerie.
If you’ve had trouble communicating your intimate needs to your partner, messages, images, notes on their plate, sexy cards, post-it notes on the refrigerator or their computer can describe the intimacies you’re looking forward too. Get what you want by leading by example. The obvious clues of a planned romantic encounter – a chilled bottle of wine, flowers, sensual music, an aromatic candle that you both enjoy – can set off the promises of good things to come any time of day.
Greet your love at the door showered, fresh and naked under a robe, or wearing just a top or bottom. Put together that simple meal that doesn’t require stress or energy to prep or clean up. Make the evening more about your quality time together. Discuss subjects that are light rather than going over the problems of the day. And, whether you plan to watch a movie or television before you settle in for the night, move through your evening taking a pause to give your mate a touch or caress that says you want more.
Keep it slow
When the actual intimacy begins, be responsible for taking it slow. Make love to each other with your eyes first. Or, begin with a massage, a string of light kisses from head to toe, or a fantasy play. Ask your partner to kiss you again, and again, then again. Tell them what feels good to you and where you’d like more. Ask them what would arouse them even further, before actual intercourse begins. If they’re rushing to a finish, tell them that you want this moment to last and slow them down in ways that only you know how, until you are both ready to come to completion.
Ask for an encore
After your evening has come to a perfect ending, don’t be blasé about how well your lovemaking went. Thank your partner for their foreplay by describing the specifics of the mind-blowing erotic moves that drove you wild. Then ask for a replay tonight or tomorrow. Even if your lover isn’t an old-hand at leisurely arousing foreplay, the first time around, giving them a lot of opportunities to practice, will most definitely lead to great pleasure.
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