What You Give is Not Always What You Get

Getting Money Transactions Right

Where is the balance of giving and getting? When money enters into the equation, how do we handle the bad attitudes of those you gave to freely when it is time to get your money back?

More relationships break up over money, not cheating, lying, being a lousy lover, or communications, but money. This horrifying fact leaves me without words to make the people who gave freely of their savings, credit cards and paychecks, complete again.

A person can steal your heart, sexual favors, your sense of humor, even your mental state, and somehow we get over it. Nevertheless, when money is the object of deception there is no way to heal this, other than paying it back. There is a way of giving that allows for proper return, if not from the one you gave then from the universe itself.

The art of giving requires thought—some people give for the absolute joy. Some people give because they think according to a spiritual belief system, when you give you get back 10 fold. There are those who give out of guilt, frustration, force, commitment and use giving as a form of manipulation.

One of my favorite movies is “Pay it Forward.” A simple smile to one person can have the ripple effect.. Sometimes we do something nice for one person and we do not even realize how many other people we touch.

Moving forward to money, this is a sore subject for lovers as well as family and friends. So many callers ask if they are going to be getting the money back that they sent the person they met over the Internet. Most of the time the answer is no, leaving me wondering how someone can give so much of their money away? One of my callers borrowed from family to give to someone they never met in person. He sent money for plane tickets that were never used, money for a funeral and other things she needed, then when he wanted to talk, she became cold.

This situation is very sad and for the sake of love, a man is now in debt. This is not the way to give. People cosign for cars and homes, apartments and take out credit cards so that the person they love does not have to suffer. I wish that these folks would be married or living together—not Facebook friends or in other countries.

A few simple rules to giving so that the flow continues are as follows:

1. If you do not have it to give, do not give it.

2. If the person is not your mate, best friend, or family member, think twice about giving.

3. Have a contract, and always write on the check the word LOAN.

4. Make a contract so if they default by not making a car, house or other payment that will mess up your credit, you can take possession of the item.

5. If a person always wants from you and you have it, try giving them half of what they ask for and put the other half in the bank.

6. Giving to a drug addict or alcoholic is like pouring money down the drain. It is the biggest dead end for your financial flow.

Giving is a wonderful thing. Giving with the right attitude will keep the flow of whatever you give coming back around. The four words no one wants to hear or say when it comes down to getting your money back is “see you in court.”

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8 thoughts on “What You Give is Not Always What You Get

  1. -quinn ext.5484

    hi Ophelia – always good to see you on board. xoxo

    hi mark UK – you made me laugh oh excuse me LOL. sometimes i forget where i am. i for one am happy that you find usefull information in the CP blog. and you are certainly one of my favorite posters.
    with metta,

    dear mary, i get ya girl. money can be the root of all evil – or not having it can be even worse. im happy you enjoy life with or without it. thats the way to roll.
    $$$ -quinn

  2. Marc from the UK

    Hell psychic Quinn, thankyou for that observation about paying back in this life from past ones, it gives me a totally new perspective. And of course I am the “Good Guy” lol! Blimey I have an audience!!! Autographs any one hee hee !! On a more serious not I would like to thank this site for saving me in a way, I HAVE HAD A LOT GOING ON IN MY LIFE!!, and I do find so much comfort and education in the wisdom and anecdotes from all of you, and I take from it what is relevant and use it as a coping mechanism, maybe an informal education that is essential to me finding balance and harmony. Thanks.

  3. Ophelia EXT 5078

    Great article, Quinn.

    I especially like your positive note at the end. I find doing simple things, not concerning money, but, for example, getting my husband a coke from the kitchen will reward me with finding something in the fridge that delights me…Giving is joyful, but you’re right, some take advantage.

  4. Mary Crawford

    Sometimes I feel that money controls us 100% even the ones that are all about self control 🙁 , oh well, I don’t have any and I’m actually glad about that. I always enjoy the things that money can never buy.

  5. -quinn ext.5484

    oh gosh – ATM machine really LOL… great G.R.
    mark – hey there, i read all your posts and know you are one of the good guys.

    tina – it comes back, that is the law of karma – and if you have been giving lots in this life it could be you are returning the favor from past lives. so all in all it is a good thing to give just mindfully.


  6. Tina

    What a great article……and it really hits home. I have an exceptionally good nature and people take extreme advantage of this, even though I’m a single mother on a menial income. DON’T LEND ANYONE ANYTHING. THEY NEVER PAY IT BACK. Beware of drug addicts and alcoholics. They are the worst! If I had all the money that was drained out of my blood flowing veins, I would have a lot more financial security and I wouldn’t be struggling in credit card debt. These people are sociopaths and have no regard for others. Just say NO!

  7. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    lol…..better still, make up your mind beforehand….. that in a romantic relationship ,you are NOT going to be a Mommy, Counselor, or ESPECIALLY an ATM machine !!!!

    Great article, Quinn !!!!

  8. Marc from the UK

    I can be kind and generous, almost to a fault, however I do have my guards up and think carefully. I do sometimes think, why is it a one way street? I do not like mean, or tight people, it is unattractive!


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