Looking for Something More
What’s the purpose of life? Here is an answer I heard recently:
“Uhh…. To be rich, popular, and have lots of good sex…and, don’t give me that “spiritual growth” crap.”
Okay, I know what she means, but what about spiritual
evolution, the kind that will admit us to higher realms of consciousness?
Without spiritual purpose, most people report an “is
that all there is?” feeling that they simply can’t shake. After bingeing out on
shopping, dating, drugs, food, or attention what do we really still want? It
seems like we want to be the best “us” that we can be, and make some kind of
contribution to the world that makes something better. It also seems that in
order to do that we need to grow beyond our childhood programming and other
peoples’ concepts of who they need us to be.
The Eternal Quest
Why do I think this? Simply, it is
the most common question callers ask. It is the “question behind the question”
in the majority of readings.
Karen felt buried under tons of parental advice and
expectations. To compound the problem, one of her parents gave very diverging
advice from what the other one laid on Karen. Expectations, guilt, wheedling,
rewards; you name it, they came across with it.
A few years later, she labored under the critical
expectations of her spouse, her kids, and even her employer. Then of course
there was that nosy neighbor she felt she had to appease and whose approval she
had to earn.
She took a day for herself to try to rest and regroup.
She wandered down a local street, looking for a place to have a coffee and
watch the scene. She opened a book that was left on the table and idly thumbed through
it. It was entitled, “How to Meditate,”
and had some intriguing Asian artwork on the cover.
She ran across a Zen koan which stated, “What was your original face before your parents met?” She read the statement again and muttered “what the h…!” And, breathing deeply, as the book advised, a vision of her truest life began to take form in her mind. Sitting in the coffee shop on that weekday afternoon her paradigm of the world shattered into a million brilliant prisms. She set out to find her real self, to grow along the true blueprint of her soul. She’d caught a glimpse of it as the koan smashed her limiting self-concept.
She called to find out if a reading would help her
find her truest self. We cast the following Tarot spread.
Tarot Spread for Self-Growth
This is a ten-card Tarot spread, arranged in a
vertical chevron pattern of three lines consisting of three cards each. The
tenth card is in the center at the bottom.
Card 1- Your Past Self
Page of Swords
What’s tricky about this placement is that you are delving into not only the past of this lifetime but other lifetimes, in the reincarnation sense. Karen’s karmic mindset, coming into this life, was that of being the underling, a Page lacking authority over her own life, and in being subordinate to others. She saw that this theme shot through her marriage, her work life, and her relationship with her parents. The struggle and cloudiness depicted on the card reminded her of how she felt. She was always scrambling to please all these other people, and never feeling like she quite caught up with the game. It brought her to an understanding of what was at the basis of her dilemma.
Card 2- Your Current Self
Karen felt that she had strength and stamina, but that
she was not acknowledged for this by others she cared about. That’s why she was
always seeking their approval. She saw how her strength was really coming to
the surface, though, in how she was balancing her career, her relationship, and
her kids. She truly acknowledged herself for that for the first time. She
looked back on her past and saw how she had evidenced these same skills many
times but she took them for granted. She complimented and encouraged herself
for the strength she was demonstrating daily.
Card 3- Your Higher Self
Karen felt the “battery” of her life as something that
was part of her and part of something higher and larger. She consciously tapped
into the exhaustless source of strength and creativity that she realized was
there through meditation.
Card 4- The Challenge
Seven of Pentacles
She sometimes was too tired to even care about “growth,”
and just wanted to get through the day. She found a way to lighten up on her
responsibilities at work and home and made it an absolute priority to renew and
refresh her energy through daily walks and journaling.
Card 5- Family Patterns
Seven of Swords
She knew her family wasn’t trying to be deceptive consciously, but still, the “big lies” were prevalent all the time. She saw how she had been taught to lie to herself about the reality of her feelings and that her parents had unwittingly acted as role models for that. She resolved to tell herself the truth about what she felt, saw, experienced, and believed daily. She saw that it became easier and easier, to tell the truth to others as she told more truth to herself.
Card 6- Personal Issues
Karen was very emotional but was taught to rationalize her feelings away. She began to feel her feelings completely and noticed that they changed into something else automatically. She saw that they were the “motion” of her being.
Card 7- Conscience
The Queen of Cups
How did Karen personally define “goodness”? She
decided that for her it meant to be caring and kind to others, to be a listening
ear, to be true to what and whom she loved. She resolved to use her intuition
and spiritual connection to help herself and others.
Card 8- Desires
Karen believed that she could really have what she
most wanted as she aligned her hopes and wishes with her spirituality. She
believed that a loving Universe and a loving source of life wanted to help her
as its creation. She saw that a lot of her struggle and limitation was
Card 9- Lesson
Karen realized that to truly transform she needed to
completely let go of some things, almost like dealing with a death. She saw
that if she did this, there was a rebirth waiting for her on the other side. It
was necessary for her to be radical about change.
Card 10- Advice
Six of Swords
Accomplishing this would require journeys, both inner
and outer. This was kind of scary, but she saw that she would be helped by the
natural and the supernatural worlds. As she took worthwhile risks, she would
know the rewards of progressing along the true path of her growth.
A New Path
With these truths revealed to her, Karen was able to formulate a new path that allowed her to put her own needs on the same level as the needs of those she cared about. The need to grow and evolve, physically, mentally, and spiritually, is as necessary to us as breathing, and when we lose our way, Tarot can help us find the road back.
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