Red Responds: Save Your Marriage

Tell Him What You Want

Ashley S from DC asks:

I’ve been contemplating a separation from my husband, because I don’t feel my romantic needs are being met. He’s a wonderful person with a fantastic job and outlook on life. Problem is I don’t feel taken care of by him. I want him to be a man, ravish me in the bedroom and be my protector outside the bedroom. Is there hope for us or someone better for me?

Psychic Red ext. 9226 Responds:

Dear Ashley,

It looks like you have a pretty strong foundation with your husband, but each of you has gotten caught up a bit with all the stuff of everyday life. While routine certainly can create a sense of security, it also can have a bit of a lack-luster impact on the more passionate aspects of a marriage.

Talk with your husband. The poor guy seems rather clueless as to how it is you’re feeling. He thinks he’s being a good and solid husband. While he is often tired, he is also fairly content with the life the two of you have created, and believes you feel the same.

Your husband is a logical man and has a passive thread that runs through his nature. So, he isn’t going to strut around like a testosterone overloaded college guy. He isn’t compelled or inclined to put on a show of strength because your feathers got ruffled. After all, he sees you as a capable, intelligent, independent woman. And it does his ego a bit of good when others are checking you out, and he believes you can handle both wanted and unwanted attentions. Let him know how you feel. While he may not puff out his chest at the drop of a feather, he will start paying closer attention to details of situations, and your reactions. By the way, your husband would most likely take a bullet for you without even pausing to think – but no one is actually pointing a gun at you or putting you in danger.

As far as what goes on behind closed doors, it looks as if you’d have better luck if you talked a little about what you’re going through, and demonstrated in detail what you desire. While it may take you being more aggressive initially, the man will step up. Heck, he’ll loosen up and be open to trying new things!

Give yourself, your husband and your marriage a chance before you start sincerely looking for greener pastures. While you will have very little trouble finding another man, men or mate if you should decide to end your marriage, you will also find that the good you already have in your life isn’t going to be quite so easy to replace.

Brightest Blessings,


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8 thoughts on “Red Responds: Save Your Marriage

  1. Chief R. K. Goswami

    The best advice you have given to the people is to adjust and save your marriage. The known devil is better than the unknown. chiefgos

  2. Devyn5303

    I really liked your answer to this question Red. I agree that the grass is not greener on the other side. I have found that talking to your partner and actively looking for ways to connect outside the bedroom ( dates, concerts, hiking) can really make a difference in a relationship. I think you will find by connecting outside the bedroom- the bedroom will follow.

  3. Mariah

    I don’t know how to fixed my relationship, I’ve been with my boyfriend, four years things has been change. The problem he is not communicating me that much…it’s hard for me to explaining how I feel about each other. All I wanted is to open up shares some of his thoughts. And I know that his been cheating to me for the last 2years. Stupid, didn’t knew everything. Love is complicated, I forgive him for what his done. Giving him a chance is to work out and tells me if he really love me very much. Should I continue to be with him I want him to committed me…But he is not ready for settle down which is I told him Iam ready for marriage…Now I tried to call, or email few times he never replied or returned call…So does he finished me. Just wondering about him…I know in my heart I still love him…can you give me some advice what to do in order to get back with him. Should I let him go without telling him. I think I could give him a silent treatment, Do you is the best thing to do. I hope you can give me some good answer all my question to you Sincerely Mariah…

  4. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Very wise advice, Red !!!!

    I hope Ashley will take heed and think it over.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

  5. Brenda

    My advice is to talk to him. He is your companion. He isn’t here to make You Feel more protected or cherished. If he loves you and you know he does try giving to yourself. It is a very hard job to keep pumping people up. Take care of yourself and everything he does will be icing on YOUr cake.

  6. Angel

    If its not broken dont fix it. So many women out here wish they had Ashley’s husband. It is really hard to have a relationship that is perfict. He could be out there cheating on her or on drugs and alchole or even a gambling addiction. Don’t leave just because of sex, check with his doctor first. and enjoy love and chairish him while you can. It may seam better somewhere else, but don’t always judge a book by it’s cover. Sure wish I could be in your shoes. Mine doesn’t want to even live in the same house with me anymore and he keeps secrets porn and never wants to do anything together or as a family. Just be happy you will miss it when it is gone.
    Sincerly Hurt twice!

  7. marc from the uk

    I like the response to this article, I feel that the people concerned are normal and going through lifes trials. I would advise Ashley from DC that the grass is not greener next door, and still needs attending as indeed her lawn does. I feel that reading in between the lines that she is indeed happy but just needed reassurance of what to do, Ashely has the advantage now of knowing what to do! Good luck and great reading.


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