As Psychic Red describes, take the time to heal yourself before the love of your life to enters. Once you’ve taken the time to accept love from others, you’ll lead a happier life. It is not selfish to take care of yourself, desire balance or happiness.
Allow Yourself to Be Restored
Andrew from Wellington, NZ asks:
I always seem to attract women that need to be fixed emotionally because of what other men have done though emotional or physical abuse. Once I have built up their self-esteem, shown them that they are fantastic and they did nothing wrong which basically changes their life around, they tend to leave and move on. Maybe my life path is about helping women, because of what other men have done. But slowly I am getting more than a little tired of this as I am finally realizing: what about me? I don’t want to sound selfish, but I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve. So each time my heart is broken it hurts, and I do feel it deeply. Will this end or is this my path?
Psychic Red ext. 9226 Responds:
There is gentleness about you that you couldn’t hide if you tried. This is part of the reason that you attract “project” women. You have a gift—the ability to help heal others and set them on their path. You do have a natural empathic ability. And the vulnerability of the broken and downtrodden has a certain subconscious appeal to you. While the women of your past are certainly better for having known you, you have given a little piece of yourself away with the parting of each one. It’s okay that you’re beginning to see that, because it’s a key motivator for you to consciously recognize the reality of the potential impact these relationships have had, and will continue to have, on you. When you fully understand that, you will change your path. Until you recognize that, history will continue to repeat.
You yearn for essentially the female version of you. Sure, you shoulder your past hurts and painful memories, seemingly with sadness rather than resentment, and that fuels the initial connection. It’s as if something in you believes that by righting the world for others, you will be rewarded with the safety, love, and devotion of those you heal. If you’re lucky, maybe time and that soul herself will return the favor, and you’ll have the happy and stable relationship you dream about. Unfortunately, it seldom works out that way, as you have discovered. You’ve got half of the equation right—you are best suited with another “you.” Where your line of thinking needs a little correction is at the beginning. Rather than taking someone under your wing because you recognize who they should and can be, you need to ask yourself if her wings are loving enough to hold you, sturdy enough to shelter you, and strong enough to lift you—so that you can grow and shed the feathers of a painful past.
It’s not selfish to desire happiness, balance, and equality—particularly in the realm of personal relationships. It’s actually the recipe for success. Yeah, you do wear your heart on your sleeve more often than not, but that level of honesty and realness is the essence of who you are. You’ve fought to hold onto that, even though experiences have tried to bend you into presenting differently. Anyone can pretend to be indifferent, or project an illusion of themselves that hides the truth of their being. It takes a helluva lot more strength and conviction to be real and risk pain than it does to hide and be safe. Stay real, Andrew. It’s probably your greatest gift, and the very thing that will bring the female “you” into your waking world. When she comes, accept the healings she offers, because love will flourish when you allow yourself to be restored.
“Fixing” others isn’t your true path, but it is, as it has been, a part of it. Look at it as a lesson, and something to meditate on, because you find it so much easier to give than receive.
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