Red Responds: End Your Affair

Sally from Albuquerque asks:

I have been in an extramarital relationship for six years, and I want to end it. What do I say? He is manipulative, and, as a Leo, will want to fix the situation. Do I owe him an explanation, if he only wants to argue with me about my reasons?

Psychic Red ext. 9226 Responds:

Dear Sally,

Your soon-to-be-ex lover can be quite difficult, but that doesn’t mean you can’t handle it. You just need to prepare yourself to handle things a little differently. Every time you allow him to draw you into a discussion or argument, you are surrendering your power and wobbling in your convictions. This is very problematic, not to mention stressful.

You can try answering his questions and inquisition sessions in five words or less, in such a manner that you aren’t opening yourself up for further debate or additional defenses. Not always an easy thing to do with your combined personalities, because you like to over-explain, and he likes to twist your words and send them back to you. But, this really is your best shot at creating the mature, adult parting of ways that you are striving for.

Realistically, you really don’t owe him any explanations. “I can’t be with you,” pretty much covers it. “I don’t want this anymore,” is a good follow up. But, basically, you are going to have to be strong and control the situation. Every time you debate, you let him into your head, and you aren’t able to break free. Sometimes, it’s not always possible to be nice and get your point across.

Your lover isn’t exactly thrilled with the “new you.” It’s okay, he doesn’t have to be, especially since you desire to make him a part of your past rather than your future. He only has the control over you that you give him, so quit giving it to him. Stay strong, and eventually he will get the message, lick his wounds and go away.

Sometimes, the less said, the better. But, the bottom line is, one way or the other, you are going to part ways with him. You are finally seeing who he truly is – which isn’t the man he originally presented to be. So, even though he will not willingly set you free, you will cut the ties and bring this relationship to an end so that you can move forward in your “real” life.

Good luck to you!

Brightest Blessings,


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5 thoughts on “Red Responds: End Your Affair

  1. Lynn Rose

    Hey Sara, Have a coke, and shut up! Do you think people have any control about who they fall in love with? Married or NOT! With children, with dogs, with……………….. You must be in the .00002% who found the perfect husband. But, I wonder if he’s in that same percentage. The bible says expect hell when you love someone other than your spouse. They didn’t say the hell is trying to decide what to do, who to love more, or how not to go crazy living with someone you can be with………………………….. Grow up…………..

  2. Christine

    Hi, was just going through the google looking for good info and stumbled across your website. I am stunned at the design that you’ve on this site. It shows how you appreciate this subject.

  3. r.k pancholi

    Are you ready to purge unwanted emotions and energize your vision of what you want this week The more connections you and your lover make, not just between your bodies, but between your minds, your hearts, and your souls, the more you will strengthen the fabric of your relationship, and the more real moments you will experience together.” ~ Barbara De Angelis

  4. Sara

    You have got to be kidding me ! She shouldn’t be fooling around with a man if she is married anyway! Didn’t she make vows to the man that she married? Stop the crap! The guy she is fooling around knows she is married & what is he doing…playing a game with her & himself. Who has control of the extramarital affair?


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