Red Responds: How to Embrace Empathy

Do you really know what it is to feel someone’s pain or happiness? Red helps us understand this power and ability in powerful post.

Gift or Curse?

Srividya from Hyderabad asks:

I am a 20-year-old girl. Recently, I discovered that I can feel the feelings of the people who are close to me. It is like a gift and also a curse. I can understand other’s feelings and pain and I cannot be happy if someone around me is unhappy. I can’t even differentiate between my feelings and other’s feelings. Lately, I am having feelings of committing suicide, however, I am in a very happy place in my life and I am positive about my future. Sometimes the feelings are so intense and I can’t control it. I doubt that those feelings belong to my ex because I can feel his feelings since the beginning of our relationship. I decided to end the relationship and I am not talking to him anymore. I know that he was in another relationship and the girl left him and he is very sad about it. I don’t know how to stop this. Please tell me how to break this connection. Please help me. If you need help with your own feelings and emotions maybe you should call a psychic today.

Psychic Red ext. 9226 Responds:

Dear Srividya,

It seems like you are coming into full-blown empathy capabilities. This can be a totally disrupting and unnerving experience. The problem is, it’s natural. That makes such a thing so much harder to tune out or to shut down. It’s not like you asked for this; it’s just something in you and it’s a part of you. So now you are faced with the very lonely challenge of understanding your gift so that you can control it.

The first thing you are going to have to learn to do is separate your feelings and emotions from those of other people. It seems, at least to a degree, you do have some working knowledge of the difference, even if you don’t fully realize it. This is good. But, it is also something you need to embrace and explore deeper in order to discover full clarity.

You are not a low energy or suicidal person. My heart breaks that you sometimes feel this depth of pain from others. While it is hard to shoulder, it isn’t your burden to carry. You are in a very difficult spot because it’s not as if you can really open up and tell a whole lot of people what you are experiencing, much less get the support you need. Of course, we are here for you at California Psychics, and so many of us understand because of our own experiences. We’ve been through it. But, if things get to heavy, please don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Sometimes a voice on the phone is enough to see you through the roughest moments. If you can’t call us, don’t hesitate to call the suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255. I really don’t see you falling to that extreme, but I’d much rather you have access to help and not need it, than need it and not have it.

Once you learn to differentiate your own feelings from what you are picking up from others, you may not be able to block everyone else out entirely; but you will be able to create a guard or a wall that keeps you from being completely consumed with their feelings. I have to warn you, this doesn’t come easy, and everyone is “wired” a little differently, so you may have to explore a few options and practices to find what works best for you. It would be great if you had a teacher or coach, preferably someone local, but that is not going to be easy for you to find. Again, many of us here on the line would be more than happy to work with you.

A couple of simple techniques that may help you to block out the chatter that has proven to be successful for blossoming empaths involves a lot of meditation, visualization, and breathing techniques. You are going to have to experiment, practice, and find out what works best for you.

Like you, I have a hard time being out in public, or in crowded areas or venues. So, I lead a pretty solitary life. That really doesn’t present as an option for you. Your future is laden with people, events and travel. There’s actually a lot of fun and opportunity in store for you. So you do need to learn how to “defend” yourself from those who surround you.

I will share with you what works for me, but it doesn’t mean that this is necessarily going to work for you. While this may not sound like fun, I want you to embrace your gift. Let your senses guide you. It will become easier for you to discern whose feeling are assaulting you and this will also make it easier for you to block such energy out.

In your mind focus on building a wall or a bubble that surrounds you. Mine is sparkly sky blue and faces me while a sleek, silvered pool of mercury faces the rest of the world. Try envisioning yourself surrounded by something similar, but the colors and textures may be different for you. Allow your own instincts and intuition to guide you. While you are envisioning this safeguard, breathe. I like to inhale through my nose to the count of 8, hold for 5, and exhale through lightly parted lips to the count of 16. Again, this is what works for me. It may or may not have the same calming effect for you. As I breathe, I place myself into that bubble with the beautiful, but strongly protective walls. By doing this, the thoughts and feelings of others fade into background noise and sensation for me. It becomes just a lot of murmuring and sensation at the back of my mind. It’s there, but no longer taking over me. I hope this technique will do the same for you.

Spend some time each morning and night in either meditation or prayer, or both, with your intentions being that you only receive what must be made known to you.

You have a gift. But that doesn’t mean it can’t feel like a curse, too. Many of us here at CP really understand what you are experiencing. We chose to embrace it, to hone the gift into a skill, and maybe someday, you will too. For now, it’s much more important for you to understand what is going on, and how to live with it in a manner that is supportive and productive to you. Just because you’ve been gifted doesn’t mean you’re obligated to use it. That is something that is entirely up to you.

You can choose for yourself if this gift is something you want to be a part of your life. If you don’t want it, in time, you ability will weaken and fade, and be much less accessible to you. But, it’s going to take time, and some conscious work and effort on your part before it fades away. There’s no quick fix, but there are ways to manage what you are experiencing.

I wish you the best of luck and I know you will achieve success. So let go of the fear. In as few as three weeks, you can be able to block much of the unwanted knowledge that comes to you. You are strong and a good life lies ahead of you. This is nothing more than a challenging choice that has been presented to you. Know that, and you will find peace. You rule your gifts, they don’t rule you.

Brightest Blessings,


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10 thoughts on “Red Responds: How to Embrace Empathy

  1. stephanie

    I have always been extremely empathetic since I was a small child. In elementary school I
    extremely fearful of being around my siblings. As I got older, I noticed people would
    sometimes seek me out for advice. In my career as Quality Assurance analyst for computer software companies, at one Job, people used to call me the firefighter. Because the VP of the IT department was very abrupt with his employees, he used to call me in to different departments which were having trouble and have me figure out the situation within the group of people in the team. As much as I felt honored that I was looked upon as the fixer upper when the manager of that team just couldn’t take it anymore, it was absolutely exhausting and tool it’s toll on me, not being able to leave work problems at work, but bringing them home. I felt like I had to numb myself to relax. I am currently a single mom with a 13 year old beautiful boy. It’s funny but now that I’m writing this I realize that I really sense my son’s feeling too. I lost my son’s father 5 years ago and thought I was handling that loss very well, but with my mental and physical heath issues, I really don’t know anymore where I am going and where I am in life. I have these serious panic and anxiety attacks, which I have suffered all my life, but I don’t know why I am suffering them right now accept for the physical condition I am in. My life right now is pretty plain and simple. I should feel content, but for some reason I am still feelings that I am wondering if they are really mine. I live a secluded life, I thought, due to all the people who have hurt me along the way. Although I love people and finding a connection with anyone, I am always careful to keep my distance, concerned that they will have issues that somehow I will take on and leave me emotionally and physically exhausted, but this does not seem to be helping. I’m feeling pain from somewhere, but I really am wondering now, if it is mine or someone elses that I haven’t yet let go of.

  2. Tracy

    Thank you for the great advice. I’ve been told that I am a spiritual empath. I’ve always been very sensitive to other people’s feelings. When I see a child fall and scrape their knee on the ground, I cringe because I can feel their pain. I live with and take care of my brother, who broke his back last year and is paralyzed from the waist down now. It is hard on me because I can feel his pain, physically and emotionally. If his back hurts then my back hurts, if his head hurts, then my head hurts. The only time I get a break is when he goes to school. He didn’t let his disabilities stop him from getting his degree in psychology and I am very proud of him for that. I get emotional sometimes and start crying and not know why. I’m not going to stop taking care of him because of my abilities, he would have to go to a nursing home and I don’t want to do that to him. I told God that if he would let him live, I would take care of him and I meant it. Some days are bad, but I won’t give up. I just wish that I wouldn’t have to feel his pain all of the time. I could get more done.

  3. Deb

    I had a peculiar experience one time at a memorial service for someone who had been killled a very long time ago . I came to the service to honor that person ,not ever thinking that I wanted to experience what they had. But I did feel great care and love for them and honor for all they had set ot to do in their goals in life. Soon after the service began,I felt exactly like the death experience was happening to me although I didn’t feel the pain this person must have felt, just the fear and the entire experience before they actually died. It all lasted about 15 to 20 minutes of what I was feeling. I felt as if I were in this person’s body, feeling emotionally what they were feeling at the time. I never could quite understand what happened to me then and it has never happened again.It was almost like I was in an unintended trance. Now ,reading your article, I am wondering if is it possible the spirit of that person could have sincerely emitted their energy into me for that short time , for some reason to experience what they actually had experienced and so long ago? I know we have so much untapped potential that we will most likely use someday, maybe this is j ust a small taste of what we have coming after this life for being caring and sensitive towards others. Very wonderful. If we could master it maybe a little more in this life , I’m sure it would help us all be more “connected”. Thank-you for your caring work!

  4. jolene jensen

    Srividya, I am 45 years old and struggled with your exact feelings my whole life. Now that you are aware you will not fall into the depression cycle as easily as you did before. It is a blessing and a curse…with all this personal information that we are chosen to experience we can do much good with it. As an elderly care/nanny I sense where my charges are and I can empathize with them and help them through because I had to help myself through for many years not knowing why I felt the way I did.

    You will have to find your own system that works for you as Red explained. For me I asked my guardian angels to only send in the emotions or spirits that were for my highest good. Then when I sensed a spirit or felt an extreme emotion I stepped back to analyze it and then address it.

    One story was I suddenly felt very nauseated as I was nannying. When the mother of the house came home from work she said she had the flu. When I got home my stomach felt better. She was projecting her energy into her home because that is where she wanted to be and I felt it.

    My suggestion to you would be when you feel something that is contradictory to you normally step back…ask your angels is this me? and wait for the first thing that pops into your head. Then … call the person that pops into your head. By making it a game it changes the energy from a curse to a cure…for yourself and whoever is on the other end.

    Good Luck!

    AND these are only suggestions…it worked for me but may not for you. Trust yourself!

  5. Michelle

    Srividya, I too have this ‘gift’. Sometimes distancing myself from the person works but not always. Sometimes thinking about the person brings on their feelings as well. It is hard to know who’s is who’s feelings. Something I found out recently is if I know where/who’s feelings it is then it is easier to disconnect from them because if I don’t know then I automatically assume it is my own feelings and take them on (it is hard to heal something in your own body that isn’t yours). So I would say step one is figuring out exactly who’s feelings it is (it may be someone you are connected to and not necessarily in contact with)…. just let people pop into your mind and usually they come up for a reason. Step 2 is knowing that you can actually help ‘fix’ their problem and not by any ordinary means at all. I visualize their energy and or outline of the person and watch what the energy of that person is doing (this could be all my imagination but it seems to work…..sometimes there is spiraling around their head, a energyless place through their body, ect., it is always different) and then I fix it in my thoughts for example I would imagine the slowing down of the spiraling around the head) the thing is I get creative and just play around with the out of balance or overactive energy they are experiencing till it feels calmer or what I think is balanced. A person won’t pop into your mind if they don’t need your help. I once had a friend phone me up out of the blue and tell me how wonderful they are feeling after I did something like this. Not to say that you want to be doing this for people but I find it takes a few minutes and makes me feel better (since we are all connected anyways 😉 We may have a type of gift that allows us to heal people in ways even science could never fathom…. with a quick imaginatory thought! That would be my advice is to start thinking in ways of ‘healing’ their issue from a distance. Best of luck.

  6. Robin Bednarczyk

    I am an empath as well. Its defintely not something I enjoy. The worst part TO ME, is that I married a very sneaky, manipulative man HOWEVER, there is NOTHING he can do to hide his intentions from me – which by the way, causes us to have some pretty violent arguments for the simple fact – HE DENIES EVERYTHING I KNOW, even when I actually have proof! He is also doing his best t turn EVERYONE against me, and if he’s NOT able to turn them against me, from that point on – he treats them horribly, he tells them they are not welcome in our home, he even had one of my friends evicted from her apartment ILLEGALLY. So empaths BEWARE who you hang around and spend time with. Alot of people out there, for whatever reason, have some pretty messed up intentions, and even the evil thinking ones will come to you with a smile on their face in order to complete whatever mission they’re on. Hopefully this new era will weed out the undesirables, but until then, its imperative that empaths protect themselves DAILY, and absolutely DON’T spend alot of time with people who have anything less than good intentions.

  7. Nina Me

    This is very good guidance you’ve given, Red! I’ve lived with empathy gifts all my 49 years of existence and it can be very overwhelming at times. The way I deal/acknowledge it is making collage art or journaling/writing – I feel that once the feeling is out of my system and into a concrete form, I am better able to “see” what to do with it next: act on it or ignore it. You are so correct: we must reach the point where we “manage” the gift and not the other way around. …peace and love to you, Srividya!

  8. patricia

    thank you so much for this info. i am an Empath also. it took me awhile to figure out that what I’m feeling wasn’t me, and still struggle with it daily. I recently started a new job, and am already am picking up on peoples feelings. someone is stressed, someone else has suicidal tendencies, which i in turn lift up in prayer. When i remember to meditate, it seems to help me separate me from them. i have difficulties at the mall, and public places.I also have difficulties with the planetary alignments and the moon phases., so i have a lot to learn, but it is a gift, that i will try to master somehow. thanks again for this post.


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