Red Responds: She Walked Out On Us

Joseph in Portsmouth writes:

My wife of 12 years and partner of 15 years walked out on me and our son. I still love her very deeply and want her to be a part of my life. I can’t imagine life without her. Do you see any hope of us being together again? She is an Aries and I’m a Sag. She is eight years older than me. I’m crushed by all of this and can’t imagine being without her.

Dear Joseph,

I can feel your pain and devastation, but sadly, I must prepare you for the worst. As lost as you are, as much as you love your wife, things will never be quite the same. Your wife reads like a true Aries – fun loving, headstrong, stubborn, adventurous and passionate. She also glows with that Aries need of freedom… and here we are.

Your wife, even though she has love for both you and your son, is doing what she feels she needs to. Your once happy home felt like a trap or a prison to her, and rather than tough it out, she chose to leave. While you may rightfully feel like you are getting the crappy end of the stick in this deal, things would be much more difficult if she had stayed. She was getting pretty miserable. While this may not offer you or your son comfort, it doesn’t make it any less true.

The next several months are going to be difficult for you and your boy. Your wife will be in and out of your lives, but don’t be too hopeful of a reconciliation or reunion. While she is off doing her thing and finding her way, the two of you need to adjust to being just you two. While your wife will remain a part of your lives, she will not always be consistent. One of her biggest issues is she wants her freedom, a freedom she can’t seem to find in the confines of being married. You may love her enough to make things work out, but her love for you isn’t the same.

In August, she may try and come for a bit, giving your family another try. While I wish I could tell you it will all come together, I just don’t see it working out that way. Whether you formally divorce or not, your wife is going to eventually connect with another guy.

I really hope, for you and your family, that I am wrong about all of this. In case I’m not, be as strong as you can for you and your son, and just take things as they come. Sometimes there just aren’t any good or easy answers, only experiences we must do our best to navigate. I’m very sorry.

Many Blessings,
Red
Ext. 9226

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