Red Responds: He Asks Her for Money

Dunstana from Freetown writes:

My boyfriend lives in London and always expresses his love and intention to marry me. He is out of job and asks me for money. Should I hang on? Will the situation get better in the future.

Dear Dunstana,

It is true that your boyfriend is struggling financially and eventually will find employment. While this will change his situation in a positive manner, it is going to be quite some time before he is financially stable and in a position to seriously consider marriage or building a life with you.

Financial issues are stressful regardless of the situation, and even the best relationships are bound to feel the pressure. What troubles me is that your relationship presents like a comfortable old shoe. I see you as being fond of your boyfriend and not necessarily wanting to walk away, but I am not seeing you as head over heels in love with him. Because of this, I seriously doubt that this relationship can survive the current struggles, much less the challenges that lie ahead.

Rather than send your boyfriend the money he asks of you, take the cash and put in a drawer. Over the next couple of months while you contemplate what this relationship offers you, you will have saved enough cash to buy yourself a diamond ring.

Brightest Blessings,
Ext. 9226

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