How Long Should She Wait for Him?
Ana from Loveland, Colorado asks:
My boyfriend left to see his mom in October, and ever since then I have not had a phone call from him or any other kind of contact. He hasn’t even called to see if his son is okay. I sometimes think he abandoned us but I don’t want to think the worst of him because I love him. What should I do? Should I wait for him to come back?
Psychic Red ext. 9226 Responds:
While you will see your boyfriend again, I can’t sit here with a clear conscious and tell you to wait for him. While he did go to see his mom, she’s not the only woman he’s spent time with. I’m not telling you this to hurt you; I’m telling you because you have the right to know that he hasn’t been exactly loyal in this time of absence. That, along with his silence, is something you need to consider if you want to wait around for him.
In a sense, he has abandoned you and your son—his son. He wanted to be free of family and responsibility, and that’s exactly what he did. I can’t say that he doesn’t love you guys, because he does. But, he also takes you very much for granted, which is never a good thing in a relationship. It looks as if he is going to remain silent, and will not even try to reach you for another seven months or so. That’s a long time—time you can’t get back. What he has done to you is very selfish and cruel, mainly because when he left, he didn’t know if he was ever coming back. There are days now when he is very uncertain. This is less about love than it is about you needing to decide if you really want to continue living your life in a suspended pattern of waiting.
I want you to really think about what exactly it is you love about this guy—the man who walked out the door, leaving you without any means of contacting him, and not even having enough decency to let you know that he was okay, much less checking up on you and his son. I’m very afraid for you because I fear that if you take him back when the time comes, he’ll do this to you again.
Only you can decide what you really want to do. It’s going to get harder and harder for you to hold on, because you have essentially nothing to hold on to. You can continue to honor the memory of a love and lover who didn’t always make things easy when he was around, then left you without a clue or you can choose to move on and meet someone else who will respect you, your feelings, your son and want to build a life with you.
Deep down, you know you’ve already waited long enough. So, take it a day at a time, but start living for you.
I hope this helps you.
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