Red Responds: Did He Abandon You for Someone Else?

How Long Should She Wait for Him?

Ana from Loveland, Colorado asks:

My boyfriend left to see his mom in October, and ever since then I have not had a phone call from him or any other kind of contact. He hasn’t even called to see if his son is okay. I sometimes think he abandoned us but I don’t want to think the worst of him because I love him. What should I do? Should I wait for him to come back?

Psychic Red ext. 9226 Responds:

Dear Ana,

While you will see your boyfriend again, I can’t sit here with a clear conscious and tell you to wait for him. While he did go to see his mom, she’s not the only woman he’s spent time with. I’m not telling you this to hurt you; I’m telling you because you have the right to know that he hasn’t been exactly loyal in this time of absence. That, along with his silence, is something you need to consider if you want to wait around for him.

In a sense, he has abandoned you and your son—his son. He wanted to be free of family and responsibility, and that’s exactly what he did. I can’t say that he doesn’t love you guys, because he does. But, he also takes you very much for granted, which is never a good thing in a relationship. It looks as if he is going to remain silent, and will not even try to reach you for another seven months or so. That’s a long time—time you can’t get back. What he has done to you is very selfish and cruel, mainly because when he left, he didn’t know if he was ever coming back. There are days now when he is very uncertain. This is less about love than it is about you needing to decide if you really want to continue living your life in a suspended pattern of waiting.

I want you to really think about what exactly it is you love about this guy—the man who walked out the door, leaving you without any means of contacting him, and not even having enough decency to let you know that he was okay, much less checking up on you and his son. I’m very afraid for you because I fear that if you take him back when the time comes, he’ll do this to you again.

Only you can decide what you really want to do. It’s going to get harder and harder for you to hold on, because you have essentially nothing to hold on to. You can continue to honor the memory of a love and lover who didn’t always make things easy when he was around, then left you without a clue or you can choose to move on and meet someone else who will respect you, your feelings, your son and want to build a life with you.

Deep down, you know you’ve already waited long enough. So, take it a day at a time, but start living for you.

I hope this helps you.

Brightest Blessings,


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8 thoughts on “Red Responds: Did He Abandon You for Someone Else?

  1. carri

    I too am in a similar situation, I’ve been married for 14 years and my husband was living a double life for the first 7 years of our marriage. He had another child 6 months younger than our own child. After being separated for 6 years we eventually got back together and had another baby. things were great for a year and a half and then an old girlfriend from 30 years ago went searching for my husband and through a third party found him and knew he was married and had just had a new baby but it didn’t stop my husband or her from getting together and him leaving the state to go be with her. When he left it devastated me and yet I shouldn’t of been surprised. It’s just when you are in love you want to see the best in that person. You want to believe that they are sorry and want to be with you. At this stage in the game I refuse to sit around and let life pass me by. I have 2 daughters who I have to be an example for and I want to show them that I am a strong independent woman who will not be defined by a man or what he does to me to bring me down. Hold your head high for yourself and your son and know that you’re not going through things alone. Don’t be afraid to lean on your friends and family for support. Move on and you will find Mr. Right when you least expect it. God Bless and keep your faith.

  2. Celina

    I have a son by a man who denied him from birth even though we had two sons together already. He did not even care if he had his name, or about his visitation rights. I was mortified at first thinking what kind of person can deny such a wonderful little boy. Then I met my current husband. He fell in love with my son instantly, has since adopted him legally, and is more of a Father than I could have ever dreamed of finding for my beautiful little boy. I tell you this only in hopes of giving you an open mind when it comes to finding a “worthy” man to be that “Daddy” that every boy needs, He is out there so don’t waste your time on this man simply because you think your son needs his “Father.” That is just a title that he does not deserve. Good luck…

  3. Celeste

    Sweetie you need a family law lawyer and the support of your family now. Petition for sole custody of your son as his father may walk back into your life when he’s in between girlfriends and decide to take your son for a “vacation,” such a man cannot be taken seriously as a father and it’s essential for you to protect yourself. Document the last time you spoke with him, what he said and how he has “disappeared.” Courts do not think kindly of parents like this and it is essential that you obtain sole custody as well as ensure he provides money for you to raise the son he created with you. Forget about a future relationship with his father he’s already shown you he’s not interested and neither should you be. Someone else is waiting for you that you can share the kind of life you deserve. Much happiness and success to you my friend.

  4. gail

    While being left without warning must be horrible my thought is for the women who have been left: don’t stop your own life because your man turned out to be an uncaring selfish person. Sitting and waiting for a person who would just up and leave is only hurting the one sitting at home waiting- he is NOT out there somewhere thinking about you! Pack up and move on with your life- you only have one life and it’s not getting any better holding out for a loser who simply does not care enough to end a relationship like a civil caring person would do. A broken heart can heal in time but the time wasted in waiting cannot be regained. No man is worth the waste of a woman’s life.

  5. Marie

    I had my first reading about one to one and one half year ago, and I wasn’t satisfied bcs my daughter had introduced me to her psychic. I decided to take her suggestion and give it a try. I waited for sometime, and then when it was my time to speak with her, I was told that there was an error being that there was another person ahead of me. By the time she got to me, she sounded tired and not fully engaged. I was disappointed, however I didn’t want to complain. I left a marriage that I felt unappreciated and abandoned. I did leave with my kids, and now that they have all grown up, I’m trying to live my life and get on with living. However I wonder what is my life going to be. I’m going to go back the university and complete my Bachelor’s degree. I have been separated and divorced over 23yrs. Please help, I just celebrated my Bday this past Sunday, 22Sep.
    Please HELP!!!

  6. Deborah

    I appreciate your response. I have been going thru a very similar situation. My ex-husband after 8yrs came back into mine and our sons lives; only to leave 6 1/2 months later to try and sort everything out. I still can’t comprehend his mentality of not speaking with his sons or contacting them in anyway. He just left me hanging, asking me to give him some time and to be patient. Well I know there is someone there right now, which is frustrating. He puts her before his own kids. I am trying to work it out but it’s been tough! I have had my struggles since he left again. He has been gone for at least 6mos. I have been trying to focus on myself, reading, and attending some relationship groups. It’s never easy dealing with a broken heart, feeling hurt, and abandoned.

    Ana Hang in there. What doesn’t kill you will make you stronger in time! Be strong for your son he will need you.



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