Chanda in Trabuco Canyon writes:
I have been interested for the last two months in buying two horses, Dolly and Suzie who are a few states away. Ebony, my horse of 16 years passed away last May. I have been holding back for a number of reasons. Initially, due to my father who has been in hospice care (although sadly, I don’t think it will be much longer). More recently my husband is concerned that financially it would be a bad move right now, as his company is not doing well. I feel so very attached to them already – although I’ve never met them due to the distance. Are they meant to be in my life, or am I just focusing on them to avoid dealing with my father’s imminent passing? Would their temperament and personality be a good match for me and my husband?
Dolly and Suzie, though beautiful and sweet, are presenting as being a pretty significant distraction for you. You have a lot on your plate right now, most of which is stressful, and these two horses offer you the hope of escape. The connection you are feeling is largely based on want. You want these horses, you want the distraction, you want the emptiness of losing Ebony to be filled. You also are looking for something to escape into, to help you cope with losing your dad.
Unfortunately, now does not seem to be a good time for you to buy them. While your husband would ultimately concede if you press the issue, it really would cause him more distress. His talk of holding off until economic times are more stable definitely has merit. While you would manage financially, your husband is very concerned about money issues, and is trying to avoid taking on or creating more financial liabilities.
I do see your husband buying you a horse this year, but it doesn’t appear as if it is either Dolly or Suzie. While these two definitely have personality and are fairly priced, I just don’t see them coming home with you. I know you fear that if you don’t make your decision soon, you will miss out on the opportunity. Sometimes a lost opportunity is a blessing in disguise.
Your horse seems to be more local, one that you will be able to visit with and spend time with before you decide to buy. The two of you will establish an incredible bond. She’s a beautiful creature, with spirit and compassion. While she is healthy, she does come through rather like a rescue – someone in need of attention and a good home. I think you two will “save” each other.
Even though the plan has been to acquire two horses instead of just one, it seems as if your husband will wait another year before he finds and buys his. Each of you will have the animal that is meant to be yours, so it all does work out in the end.
I hope this helps…