7 Tips for Awakening Your Kundalini (Sexual Energy)

Kundalini for Intimate Relationships

Kundalini is a serpent goddess who lies coiled at the base of our spine. She’s waiting for us to unlock her energy through a combination of meditation, yoga, and selfless acts of love. The guru Avdhoot Baba Shivanand describe this awakening as an expansion of the brain. He says that the dormant spirit uses only six percent of the brain’s capacity to see and understand the world around it. However, the enlightened spirit uses 94 percent of the brain’s capacity.

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Kundalini in Intimate Relationships

While there are many parts to kundalini, I’m going to focus on its role within a romantic relationship. Some gurus will tell you that in order to truly awaken your kundalini, you need to stop sexual activity. This allows you to put energy towards spiritual transformation. However, for most of the population, this is not viable or necessary.

The following tips will help you awaken your kundalini with your partner. However, these are only basic tips. I invite you to investigate this practice further if you’d like to experience the full benefit of kundalini.

Tip #1: Practice as You are, Not as You Wish You Could Be
Who we are naturally is not bad or imperfect in some way. But because so many of us believe this, kundalini exercises heal us and help us reach a higher plain. Kundalini is simply allowing yourself to relax and fall into the moment with your partner, accepting whatever happens next.

Tip #2: Don’t Use Your Partner as a Vessel
When beginners start practicing kundalini yoga with a partner, they often lose sight of the actual intimate moment. Instead, they focus on using the experience as a means to transcend their own sensuality or spirituality. The problem with this is that it leaves out the fundamental idea of kundalini as a selfless act of love. So, you should sit back and enjoy the moment with your love without expectation.

Tip #3: Desire Urges Action and Knowledge Completes the Action
Tantra expert Chandi Devi reminds us that nothing can ever be accomplished in kundalini without desire (iccha), knowledge (jnana) and action (kriya). And desire is not enough. You must also have the proper knowledge and understanding of the practices. If you partner doesn’t share this desire, you must share your knowledge and urge them to try. This leads to the final necessity, which is action. Nothing will ever be accomplished without action.

Tip #4: Unlearn the Idea of an Orgasm as Your Goal
In kundalini, orgasm is not the final goal. Just surrender yourself to the moment. See where it takes you. The idea here is that you cannot achieve a full-body orgasm until you have evoked the serpent goddess (Kundalini). She has to wind her way up each of your chakras.

Tip #5: Get in “Tune” With Your Partner
Foreplay in kundalini is sitting in a dimly lit room, holding each other, looking into each other’s eyes, and breathing in sync. Start slowly by touching your partner and then relaxing into a shallow meditation. Allow the moment to lead itself. Take your time. Remember, there is no goal (orgasm) to concern yourself with. Your only goal should be to enjoy each other.

Tip #6: Practice Tantric Sex
The idea of tantric sex is enjoying the sexual union, allowing kundalini to travel up the base of the spine uninterrupted. In tantric sex, an orgasm is the release of your sexual energy downward towards the sexual organs, thus inhibiting your chance of building this energy up to your crown (full body/endorphin orgasm). To achieve this, try not to focus so much on the sensations in your groin. Instead, feel the sensation of the energy as it rises up through your spine. Stop stimulation as needed to avoid surpassing the “point of no return.”

Tip #7: Have Fun
Most of all, have fun. The most important part of awakening kundalini is not the destination, but the journey!

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21 thoughts on “7 Tips for Awakening Your Kundalini (Sexual Energy)

  1. bellyfat

    you must provide that desire by sharing your knowledge while urging them to participate. This leads to the final necessity, which is action. Nothing will ever be accomplished without following through with the motions.

  2. Angela

    It’s interesting to read people’s concepts of what Kundalini might be or should be, how it should awaken or shouldn’t. I certainly wasn’t seeking a kundalini awakening, actually knew very little about it. I was trying to awaken to my true self and really didn’t want any “weird” ways for that to happen, I just wanted to know the truth. If someone had asked me a few months ago if I wanted this, I would have rolled my eyes and said no.
    Well, we don’t always get to choose our path, apparently. I had no idea what was going on with me when this energy woke up, I just knew that I still wasn’t a fully awakened being, and that some of the things that were happening to me were, um, incredibly strange. I actually had to google some of my symptoms to figure it out.
    That being said, I certainly don’t regret it and am very grateful for the spiritual teachings and practice of non-resistance I’d been engaged in for several years prior. From what I’ve read about other people’s experience with unexpected awakenings, resisting the energy can cause a tremendous amount of pain and suffering.
    As stated by Parker, being “pure” is not a requirement, (that’s obvious in my case)…and the energy is, itself, doing the cleansing and healing. Sometimes it’s fun and wonderful, other times it’s painful and annoying. It is most definitely very isolating from other people, but that part seems to be ok too.
    It seems to have two potentials, as well. If we can surrender to our entire world being turned upside down, it seems this process can lead to enlightenment. If the ego takes it over and starts to use this energy to be “special” or gain power…well, a lot of damage can be done, more than the average ego causes.
    Basically, it is an amazing thing, but seriously, handle with care. It’s not all about a better orgasm, honestly.

  3. Seb

    The secret, is to practice sexual magic daily with your wife who you are in LOVE with, and to never ever spill your sexual energy, but rather withdraw from the act before the orgasm.

    All the while meditating daily on your ego, beseaching the divine mother to kill a comprehended defect, and dying to yourself moment by moment everyday..

    Everything is polarized in duality, male/female, night/day, hot/cold etc.. In the same way there are 2 ways to awaken, two roads to awakening, one positive, and the other negative, one using Black Tantra, and the other White Tantra.. Even Jesus himself stated, “some will awaken to everlasting life, and others to everlasting shame..” There are two ways to awaken, as a demon, or an angel, both have powers, abilites, etc, one is awakened within the ego, the other is awakened conciousness free of ego..

    The tail of the demon is a symbolism of the inverted negatively polarized sexual energy decending to hell. The latter, the caduceus of mercury, with the entwining serpents and wings of an angel symbolise the energy risen up..

    The lower energy is very easy to awaken, being our conciousness is nearly already swallowed up by the ego.. The latter, takes a lot of hard work and dying to yourself everyday as it requires the elimination of ALOT of ego..

    This is the difference between white magic and black magic, between a witch and a priest that helps and heals..

    Both are awakened in the astral plane, both travel out of the body, both have powers, ability, faculties beyond the 5 senses..

    Though one is awakened in HELL, and the other NOT..

    Most of these sites regarding the kundalini, are in short teachings of black magic..

    If the site doesnt talk about restraining and never spilling the sexual force, or dying to the ego, its teachings of black magic..

    Reality is stranger than fiction, and the truth of what really is going on in this world is shocking.. There are three types of people, those who are awakened in the ego, in darkness.. Zombies, like everyday people that dont have any idea of whats really going on.. And those people that are trying to work on themselves and change.. To purify themselves.. Repented demons..

  4. Ian

    For me sex has never been only about my own personal pleasure. I have had sex that literally opened gateways and sex that was entirely carnal and lustful. I have had passionate sex while in love and meaningless drunken sex. Recently I have rediscovered sex and in recent times have had quite an excessive amount of it, with two people primarily. This weekend I literally spent probably 8-12 hours with someone I met awhile back having sex. What I can see is that orgasm was not the goal. I actually stopped and we restarted 6-8 times in order to avoid orgasm. Upon returning home to take a nap I began feeling a familiar buzz at the base of my spine that was quite frightening while half asleep. After it woke me 3-4 times I began to focus on it while fully conscious but in a definite altered state. My kundalini has fully awoken several times in my life. This time was the most intense. It was like my entire spine was vibrating like an electric toothbrush and a sound that can be described as half bee half rattlesnake could be heard all around me. That is as far as I will go with the description because visions, etc are personal. There was also a bell, which I have never heard previously. My point is… maybe the way we have sex affects sexual energy, but maybe like all things, the more we use something, the more we are supplied with it. I also happen to wonder if perhaps the partner we choose can affect kundalini and other things and if this new woman is somehow special to me….

    1. Manav

      Agree with you. There’s no need to rush towards other mantras for every root chakras. “Om Namah Shivaya ” maha mantra alone can activate all root chakras / kundali if one chants it with full faith & dedication.

  5. rejul

    Kundalini is the dormant sexual energy lying in the base of the spinal column (called muladhara) of all human beings.

    Raising of kundalini is the process by which the energy raises up the spine through the various chakras (energy centres) along the spine to reach the centre of the fore head (ajna chakra) where pure conciousness/intelligence is located. While kundalini rises, it carries it with the prana (life force which is originally located in the heart in the form of pulse of heart beats) to the chakras and cause respective vibrations as it ascends to reach the higher chakras. Once kundalini along with prana merges with consciousness in the ajna chakra, it further ascends to the seventh chakra in the brain (sahasra chakra) giving pure bliss/ desirelessness/ peace to the practioner (yogi)

    For raising the kundalini the various steps followed by the practitioner (yogi) are as followes (to be done only under the guidance of an experienced guru.

    1. Shatkarmas or various ways of physical cleaning of the body.
    2. Yoga asanas for making the body flexible for easy movement of energy in the body.
    3. Pranayama to control the life force vibration in the body and to purify the various nadis or energy centres in the body.
    3. Chanting or listening of various mantras also helps in raising the kundalini – with sound vibrations as a medium to awaken and raise the dormant energy.

    After proper practice of the above steps sincerely and with faith for a certain duration, having the body & mind purified, the yogi reaches the pratyahara state, where he can at wish lose the complete awareness of the body. There is a numb feeling developed in the base of the body ascending upward and a heightened sexual feeling developed in the sexual organs.

    Then by awareness and concentration on the higher points along the spine, the kundalini is raised through the spine to reach the brain. The whole evolution of intelligence is based around the single action of energy supply to the brain through the spine.

    In tantrik sex (definitely not for ‘fun’), people engage in sex to heighten the sexual awareness in the lower points, but the same energy is carefully directed to the upper points through proper breath control (pranayama) and practice. Otherwise the energy is channeled downward and outside and causes the downfall in intellect/spiritual awareness of practitioner.

    Once kundalini reaches the sahasra chakra, the practioner experiences the state of infinite bliss/samadhi/ infinite peace or what we simply call GOD.

  6. Lucifer

    They are talking about tantra which may be a good means to help with kundali energies it seems as though many leaving comments are ill informed persons trying to act as though they’re intelligent while really they need to sit back and let the more suited/intelligent persons teach others instead of spreading stupidity

  7. laura

    I like that article! Kundalini is not an “ism” and even if derived from hinduism, we have a much larger understanding about it today… Nobody should say what is right or wrong…

  8. marcus alexander

    YOu guys are actually all worng Kundalini sex is just normal sex as a human should have it, otherr kinds of sex simply fall short and dont perform the intended out come of sex.

    If you need to “research” sex or spirituality(or in other words fish around to find some one else who has written some blurb on it) you simply havent started to grasp it, no ones going to to tell you anything worth knowing you have to work it our for your self.

  9. Sara

    Your research on this topic is flawed. Engaging in sex or sensual satisfaction is awakening your lower energy’s. The focus of awakening kundlani shakti is to help it rise to higher energy, your mind. This is not awakening Kundlani Shakti. It appeasrs that you are just writing here what you THINK Kundalni shakti is and twisiting it to suit your needs.

  10. The truth

    These people are correct. This is not correct about kundalini. If people really want to understand the Kundalini energy read Kundalini by Gopi Krishna. It is the Truth about it. As one spiritually advances the kundalini starts flowing up the spine. This starts earlier than most peopl think but doesn’t become fully active until you are close to being enlightened. At Sainthood(unconditional love) consciousness level one starts experiencing the siddhis which the result of the Kundalini causing the miraculous. Psychic, healing, etc

  11. Parker

    Having awakened kundalini in 2006, and having lived with it since then 24/7 in as intense a way as I could imagine, I can say catagorically that this notion of having to be pure is nonsense. It might help to prepare, but look: there are people in India preparing and doing yoga and not awakening. Then there are people who are NOT preparing and who do not do special yoga or postures or even meditation and ARE waking up…..and in very large numbers now. So I am saying that what we think we knew about this is going by the wayside.

    Kundalini IS the purification, but it returns you to your animal nature as real and true, not some pie in the sky nonsense. This is about becoming a sovereign being, not some weird intellectualized sense of what “pure” is. We awakened stink and make loud noises, get incredibly frustrated, tired, energized, sad, passionate, sexy, and anything but. We are all this because we are every bit a part of this place just like anyone else who has not yet awakened.

    You cannot really prepare, but if you prepare, perhaps by settling your biggest frustrations and problems with people in this life, it MIGHT help…..but kundalini will come and sweep your energy field regardless. Learning how to be a good participant in the process is a biggie.

    If you want an intimate view into kundalini try these notes:


    And here also:


    And here as well:


    Kundalini is a great mystical fire. It is not butterflies and light, but a powerful and real human experience that involves a refining process of the self, a spiritual alchemy. Its happening a lot these days. More than ever before. Within us is the great divine impulse which is creative, passionate, and spreading. We each bear a fire which will spread across this whole earth. Forget what you think you know and merely open to it. If it is your walk, it will come. If not, be glad. Its not time. You can’t rush this. But neither can you conceive what it is prior to experiencing it. It can be hard and it can be easy. Its no one thing, for we are no one thing. We are BECOMING.

  12. Leeya

    I suggest you do proper research before posting about Kundalini.
    Kundalini is a sacred concept in Hinduism. Kundalini is only awakened when a person is selfless, has no material desires, has no hatred, has no selfish greed, etc. If kundalini is awakened when a person is not pure – the person could go insane or self destruct. I suggest people do not play with the power of Shakti or the coiled serpent.

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  15. sarathchand2000

    Yes, the sex we enjoy is not the one we do normally. Nobody tires it in a spiritual way. Everybody tries and does it to reah the sexaul orgasm. We should get trained and well aware how it to enjoy it spiritually. Thanks for this little tip. Hope for a descriptive, simple and beneficial way in future. Please give the related sited in this regard.

  16. Vijay Walia

    Hello Eric,

    I also have done a course in S.K.Y.( simplified kundalini yoga) conducted by Maharshi Vaithathri an exponent on the subject. There are three stages in this.a- The Guru by touching the end of the spinal cord awakens your Kundalini and brings the energy to AGYA CHAKRA( THE CENTRE WHICH LIES IN BETWEEN THE TWO EYES). There after in the second stage the Guru connects the energy to the Turayam( whch the centre in the head and is also called the Sahasara. In the third stage the Guru connects you to the universe and beyond the universe with the TOTAL CONCIOUSNESS.When your fractional conciousness gets connected to the total conciousness you attain Enlightment and become one with The Almighty. But you got to practce S.K.Y. meditation daily.
    God Bless!!!

  17. suhas

    The way you are talking about kundalin is not correct.It is just to create some sensation you are misusing Hindu words.To only livem for for betterment of others leaving totally selfish thought is beyond your imagination but not uncommon in eastern world. suhas

  18. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Hi Eric,

    I actually took a yoga class a very long time ago on this subject, Kundalini energy, back in the late
    Very fun and interesting class……the class started out with about 35 people, in the end only about 14 of us remained,…. partially because there were a some with sexual inhibitions and hangups on sex to begin with. I enjoyed the class and retained much from taking it though.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500


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