Woman to Woman? It’s Just a Piece of Jewelry

I remember thinking that going through my mother’s bureau was the coolest thing ever. Now, this only applied if I didn’t get caught. Because getting caught would be sucky. But one thing that was even cooler than the coolest thing ever, though, was going through her jewelry box! It felt like I was hunting for hidden treasure. It was modest treasure. But as every girl knows, treasure is treasure. It was still better than anything that I had.

Even as a kid, I understood the monumental importance of one very special set of jewelry. The bridal set. (At this point angels sing.) Why do we still measure a woman’s success by this piece of jewelry? Why do we measure the success of a relationship by this piece of jewelry? This is social currency. And it’s a lie. And it is cruel. How do we, as a, sisterhood correct this immensely crappy thinking?

Still with me? Good. Our story unfolds…

I received a call from a new client. She asked: “I’ve been dating my boyfriend for (pick an amount of time, it doesn’t matter). I really want a ring. I don’t want to waste my time.”

When did people become a waste of time? I thought every experience counted. I thought people counted.

I didn’t know people had an expiration date. Who knew? Why is that piece of jewelry the prize at the end of the marathon that is romance? I got one better… why would you pity yourself if you don’t get one after a “reasonable” amount of time?  I think that it’s because that little piece of jewelry is the difference between a “respectable” relationship and a “casual” one. Probably the more honest word is disrespectable. OK, so the ring makes the disrespectable respectable. Wow, sparkly and magical!

Here, I believe, is the issue. Sex. There, I said it. So how do we get past this archaic philosophy? A couple of things need to happen to straighten out this screwed up thinking:

– All by yourself, in your heart, you need to define your version of respectable and disrespectable.

– People are a lot of different things. People are never a waste of time. When paths cross, that is sacred. People are in the image of the Divine and therefore sacred as well.

– There is not now, and has never been, an expiration date on you. Go ahead. Check your feet. I’ll wait…. any date? Didn’t think so. So try not to push something that’s already unfolding before your eyes.

Let’s try something new. Let’s not care where this goofy thinking came from. Let’s just stop and think about something else. Enjoy your hunny. Try to stay present. Be happy. Let’s just redefine our ideas. Let’s create something beautiful.

What’s ahead for your love life? Try a psychic reading. Call 1.800.573.4830 or choose your psychic now.

8 thoughts on “Woman to Woman? It’s Just a Piece of Jewelry

  1. ndn

    Great article. I have always had people look at me funny when I would say “I didn’t care about the ring.” I have had girls even call me crazy for having that mentality and accuse me of only thinking that way because I wasn’t in a relationship. Today, I am in a relationship and still stand by my belief of not caring about a ring. Many of the girls I associate with define the seriousness of their relationship by having a ring. I think its natural for girls in our society to automatically assume that time defines a relationship when that is the most unnatural thing. Being with someone for 2 yrs doesn’t mean it’s time to take bigger steps, unless BOTH of you feel ready for it. And Ivy, you’re absolutely right about rings/jewelry being a social currency, couldn’t think of better way of phrasing that! After the “must having a ring soon” phase, comes the “that ring better be a rock, bling, bling, this many carats, etc” The ring solely symbolizes the love between 2 people, and can money ever really sum up to your emotions?

    Reply
  2. Kathy

    While no one can guarantee the permanence of a relationship, ring or no ring, respectful and disrespectful have, through the ages, been defined by one’s beliefs/religion, and though that, one’s upbringing. You are so right, and thank you for pointing out that, though women (and men) don’t want to “waste their time,” people should not be thought of that way. Really, it’s just you don’t want to get your emotions involved where the intensity will not be reciprocated. I think your advice, miss Krystal, to get a reading before one’s emotions are in too deep is an excellent idea. I’ll do that at my next paycheck.

    Reply
  3. misskrystalmisskrystal

    Very interesting article. Thanks Ivy.
    I have had so many women, through the years, call me and are crushed over breaking off a relationship because the man was not ready to get married. Most of the time they DO regret it. With a couple of exceptions, of course. So, I think it is very important to make sure that they are ready to face any outcome, due to such an intense choice. A psychic reading would be good before a decision like that is made-Listen to your heart on this one, ladies….Marriage is not for every girl anymore…Some women don’t see any benefit in it and, others do. Please get a psychic reading, with the psychic of your choice, in order to make sure you want to end a relationship, period. It would help! Thanks again, Ivy. Cheers, Miss Krystal

    Reply
  4. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Hi Ivy,

    I enjoyed this article….there is much truth and wisdom in it.

    Which is why I tell my clients not to push anything…..be present in the moment ! Enjoy just being with that person and getting to know that person. Definitely NOT a waste of time.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

    Reply
  5. Faith ext. 9608Faith ext. 9608

    Dear Ivy,

    What a superb article full of love, delightful humor and great wisdom!

    Blessings, Faith ext. 9608

    Reply

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