Can Couples Reconnect After Infidelity?

Infidelity, obviously, can devastate a marriage or relationship. Few recover from it. But with the right guidance, counseling, therapy, and effort, can a relationship be put back together after a partner cheats? Can couples reconnect, and even become passionate again?

Hitched Magazine reports:

The experience of infidelity in marriage has got to be one of the most devastating occurrences that any individual can face. We know instinctively, even before the fanfare of wedding vows, that the hallmark of a committed intimate relationship is sexual exclusivity. In any real life scenario, we also know that we can’t be with our spouse in every waking moment. We trust him or her to honor the commitment made through both formal vows and the love-drenched promises of devotion. We expect our spouse to exercise self-control and only have eyes for us. But life often interrupts those idealistic expectations and somehow things become changed.

In a moment of vulnerability, carelessness, heated lust or relationship neglect, one partner gives in to the temporary excitement of a sexual affair. How does this impact the relationship? While the guilt of an affair can be an exceedingly heavy weight to carry, exposure carries its own set of complications. One of the primary places where the effects of such a confession are felt is the bedroom. Yes, affairs in marriage are always complicated. Whether it was cyber sex, phone sex, physical sex, a one-night stand or an out and out love affair, sexual infidelity has a telling impact on the sex life of the couple who decide to keep their marriage together.

The man or woman guilty of infidelity, but still wants the marriage to work, is likely to experience some after-confession discomfort in the bedroom. This says nothing for the gut-wrenching, drive-you-insane torment the victim of infidelity is likely to feel. After a confession of sexual impropriety, knowing what to expect emotionally and sexually is perhaps the first step towards understanding and choosing the right response for your individual scenario. In addition to the tips below, professional counseling is also recommended.

Tips on Reconnecting if You Have Been an Unfaithful Spouse

So you’ve done the unthinkable in being unfaithful, but to your credit you have bitten the bullet and confessed. How do you pursue your partner sexually after such a major and life-altering foul up? There is obviously no carte blanche response and it is likely that behaviors may vary between men and women. Nonetheless, these general principles should guide both sexes with respect to their attempts to salvage their marriage and by extension their sex lives.

What do you think—can couples reconnect after infidelity?

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4 thoughts on “Can Couples Reconnect After Infidelity?

  1. arise

    Confession after the fact is self-centered and cruel. It is only useful if done before the infidelity. That is to say, “I’m troubled by an attraction to someone else.”

    Cultivating that kind of open communication, though, takes self-discipline on both sides. If you overreact to your spouse innocently looking at or flirting with others, you encourage them to hide these things from you. When a real threat comes along, your spouse is already practiced in deception.

  2. Psychic Giovanna x5214

    Gina Rose,
    I agree with you 100%. No situation is the same, and the path to either repair or separation is always difficult, creating a sense of uncertainty and deep loss. The bottom line is, in any relationship, whether cheating is the issue or not – if both partners are not invested in making the relationship work, eventually it will fail.

    Infinite Blessings~

  3. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    This is a case when one on one counseling combined with intense marriage counseling is advised….

    Yes, I’ve seen marriages survive cheating…but truth be told, those cases are rare…’s not the love…it’s the trust issue.

    You can love a person, but not trust a person, and feel as if you have to let them go because you just can’t seem to get past that trust issue.

    But if you truly feel that that other person really does love you back as deeply…then, both of you, get professional and/or maybe spiritual counseling….get the tools and communication skills you need to build up that foundation of trust.

    A marriage is much like a house…it sits upon the foundation of love AND trust.


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