DreamCast: You’re Ready for Love, But He’s Not

Gay from Brisbane, Australia writes:

I’ve recently had three dreams about a man who was my passionate lover until he moved away in November 2006. We keep in touch, and meet up maybe once or twice a year when he comes back into town to visit his family. We have such an intimate connection on many levels when we’re together, but he doesn’t want a relationship with me–or anyone else, I suspect.

In the first dream, he’s here on a visit and about to leave, but I haven’t had a chance to talk to him. I go to his room, but just as I get to the door, which is ajar, he walks over to me and says, “You’re too soon.” Then closes the door in my face.

The second dream shows him being in town again, but he’s sitting up in bed and seems to be ill. Some people he knows are standing around the bed. I walk in and sit on the edge of the bed, looking at him. We don’t speak.


In the third dream, he has come down to visit and is walking with me. The feeling between us is friendly and comfortable as always. However, he seems preoccupied with his life and the things he has to do. I put my arm around him at one point; the feel of his body is so familiar.


This man is not on my mind, yet I’ve had three dreams in two weeks about him. Are there any messages in this for me that I’m missing?

Hello Gay,

All three of your dreams are quite revealing about your friend. On some level, you seem to be in need of some insights about your connection with him, and why he isn’t in a relationship with you or anyone else.

In the first dream, his saying “you’re too soon” and then closing the door in your face is certainly revealing. I think that deserves a literal interpretation. You came into his life when he wasn’t prepared for a committed relationship, and he closed the door on experiencing such a connection with you. His leaving before you could speak with him is interesting, too. It seems incomplete. Do you feel he cut off your feelings for him before you got a chance to fully express them?

You didn’t speak to him in the second dream, either, which also points to unexpressed feelings between you two. His illness symbolizes the emotional issues he’s dealing with, some of which you might have triggered by being in a relationship with him.

In the third dream, he’s too preoccupied to give you his full attention. All in all, being friends or lovers in an uncommitted relationship is all he can offer anyone right now.

Sweet dreams,


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