Sexual Deal Breakers

Everybody has their limits on what they will do and what they won’t — when it comes to the bedroom. These are often based on a person’s upbringing, misconceptions, peer expectations, religious beliefs, partner’s expectations, and what simply turns them off.

Sex Pictures and Internet Webcam Play
According to a Glamour Magazine survey of 10,000 women and men, 75 percent of women and over 60 percent of men, think it’s a bad idea to perform on a Webcam for a partner. Along the same lines, nearly 70 percent of women and 60 percent of men do not think that taking sex pictures or making a sex tape is a good idea either (see the biographies of Paris Hilton and Pamela Anderson as to why this is a bad idea). Case in point, never let a boyfriend or girlfriend keep nude photos of you. They sometime come back to haunt you in the form of millions of unwanted admirers and unwarranted sex stories.

Sex with the Ex
Most people will agree that this is usually an accident waiting to happen, although some don’t follow through with their own good advice. Why is it bad? These moments can bring a whirlwind of fond moments (love poems, “I love you”) shared with your ex, while leaving the more important bad ones, under the covers. There is a reason the two of you broke up. No matter how much they say they’ve changed, you’re bound to discover the same problems again and again… Don’t tempt yourself!

Backdoor adventures
There are those who like it, deal with it to make their partner happy, and those who passionately refuse as if you were asking them to sacrifice a baby seal. Culture appears to be an important part of the equation, considering Taiwan couples partake in this adventure only one percent of the time, while North American couples are closer to 50 percent. There is a lot of pressure from partners and peers pertaining to this practice. The important thing is to stick by your guns and do what’s right for you.

Toys in the Bedroom
Bringing toys into the bedroom is another practice which tends to be split 50/50, especially when it involves a partner sharing in the play. A survey by Indiana University reported that just over 50 percent of women claimed they’ve used a vibrator at one point or another. The same percentage would also agree it was a good idea to use toys, mutually, with a partner, according to Glamour’s survey. One caveat however: never compare your partner to a favorite toy. This type of “competition” can be very intimidating.

Oral Play
Oral sexual experiences are generally thought of with an open mind by most women, according to a Glamour survey, with over 75 percent partaking in this activity and nearly 100 percent of men. When it comes to swallowing, women drop to just over 50 percent, while men remain an enthusiastic 85 percent (well, of course, they’re not the ones taking the gulp). Good hygiene appears to be a very important factor in the acceptance of this practice, as well as various religious and moral expectations.

Occasionally, we will need to negotiate with our partner to find a compromise between two conflicting thoughts on the matter. Remember, it’s just as important to negotiate in the bedroom, as it is for all other aspects of a healthy relationship — including finances, family, religion, and politics.

What are your top turn offs and deal breakers? Get in on the conversation!

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