Imagine, if you are able, a life without fear. Everything is perfect, safe. There are no risks and no worries. What would you do with the rest of your life? Any ideas? People often say, “I would travel,” or “I would help others.” Mostly, people admit, “I don’t know.” Happiness and peace seem so far away that they never even consider what that might look like. Their identification with their story, their pain, is so strong, so all encompassing, that it never even crosses their minds. And yet thought always precedes action – so how can we truly embrace our happiness if we cannot see through our filters, our lenses of pain?
When we focus our attention on one object – whether it be a person, a place or a thing – we are externalizing our happiness, placing the responsibility outside ourselves. This creates a lifelong habit of living in reaction. Like a cork on the ocean of experience and emotion – tossed around endlessly, until we are so weary of fruitless endeavor and wasted time – we feel like giving up. In desperation, we become prey to anyone or anything that promises to alleviate our pain.
The truth is, nobody will ever take better care of you than you demand. No one will take better care of you than you take care of yourself. You set the standard by which others will take you seriously.
There is no one out there willing to sign on to play the parent to anyone’s wounded child for very long – and we all carry a wounded child within us. Much (if not most of ) our relationship conflicts revolve around inner child responses to adult situations. Ultimately, it is our responsibility to send that child away. We must each fill that empty place within our hearts – with our own selves.
The heart is considered to be the nexus of our energetic system – three Chakras below, three above. From this position, if one can stay there, everything becomes possible. But remember: the Chakra just below the heart is connected to the adrenals, and has a Martian connection. In Greek mythology Aries’ chariot was drawn by two horses named Deimos and Phobos, which translates to “fear and panic.” This is why the idea persists, “One is either loving or fearing” – and, yes. They are mutually exclusive. Love or fear – choose one.
Consider now whether you carry fear or love. If you answer “both,” what you are calling love is something else. It is for you to know, to discover precisely what it truly is. It is a small jump in perspective to get to your heart, but it cannot be accomplished from behind a wall of fear. The reason the heart Chakra is always connected with health is because all healing begins with love, which begins with a love of self. Love of self is the real heart of the matter. It all begins precisely there. Be there now. There is no other way. Time is precious, and that is a very real consideration. Wouldn’t you agree?
Have you taken the time to really love yourself first? Share your stories here.