When He Won’t Leave His Mistress

When a man won’t leave his mistress, how does a psychic help their caller manage that pain? We asked a few of our specialists how they coach women whose husbands just won’t let go of that extra-marital affair.

Psychic Jonathan ext. 9601 says:

I help them manage the pain by letting them know what’s going on; of course, they know already. I always make sure they understand not to let the man throw all this back at them. They didn’t do anything wrong here – Take your power back, ladies!

I know they love this man, and I know the pain. I feel it. I let them know that the word “separation” is man-speak for “I need to save money and hide assets before the divorce comes up.” Then there are the ones who want the separation in order to work on the relationship. Does it work? No, and I let them know that, too. Separation is also man-speak for “I’ll still see my mistress…,” and most times that relationship doesn’t work either. If he does come back – well, ladies, once you let him back into your life, you just gave him permission to cheat all over again. He thinks you’ll take him back again. They will tell you that their last wife or girlfriend cheated on them, and they’ll never do that to you. Guard yourselves, ladies. That’s man-talk for “I always cheated.”

Psychic TeriLynn ext. 9625 adds a personal anecdote:

I have a client who had to deal with this issue. She came to the realization that nothing she said or tried to do would change the position of her husband and his continued relationship with his mistress. She called me to see if she and her husband were going to get a divorce. Upon review of her situation, it became clear that he was a “it’s my way or the highway” husband, as he was the main financial earner, and she was the “housewife/stay at home mom.” Financially, she was in a corner, and he knew it. We had to first get her to forgive herself for staying, and to allow herself to go free of the chains she believed were around her. This is not easy to do, and takes time. She needed to believe that she could become more than what she allowed herself to believe. Self-forgiveness sounds easy, but in reality is very hard.

We made a place for her to go within, and a place in her yard that gave her freedom to heal and accept herself as being healed. After a year or more, she had prepared an out for herself, and when she was strong enough to step up to the possibility of leaving her husband, she told him that she would leave him if he did not make a change in the way they interacted as husband and wife. He did not believe she would do it, and took it as an empty threat. She packed her bags and had a friend act as a support system as she started to change her life. Her life changes gave her a new reason to take steps that were impossible for her to consider before. Belief in self-imposed fear can change when we take our belief in ourselves as creators of beginnings for ourselves.

They did separate, and he chose to enjoy his new freedom with the mistress. In six months, he realized that he was unable to live with the mistress and wanted his wife back, which she is considering based on how he comes back to her, and what changes he is willing to support in order for their relationship to grow and work.

What do you think – what would you say to a woman whose husband won’t leave his mistress?

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One thought on “When He Won’t Leave His Mistress

  1. Lulu

    humans are animals. marriages are artificial units that have been created by humans. Looks like such ‘creations’ never work. Animals, i.e. humans tend to fall out of love and fall in love with others, it is NATURAL. Long term marriage – is not natural. You can argue with me until the end of this civilization but take a hard looks at the reality and I’m sure you will see what I am saying.
    The most pathetic case is when long term marriage becomes dead and one party tries to salvage it . Pathetic. Let the other person go. You do not own your spouse. Let him-her go. You are trying to keep him/her out of your own selfishness. Have respect for their wishes. Nothing lasts forever.
    Of course American law made divorces an expensive nightmare. Lots of unhappy people stay in a marriage because of children, because of $$, living arrangements etc. The 22 century does not make it easy to break off these ties. Be it a cave-era, I bet these unhappy spouses would not stay with each other.
    You can argue with me all you want. Look at the reality. Cannot deny it, cant you ?


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