Ask Your Spirit Guide

This is a question my soul is wrestling with: am I supposed to learn a lesson or have the patience of a saint and unrelenting faith — which is it? I had a very strong, beautiful, connected relationship with a man, and we have walked away from each other. I have blessed and released him in hopes I will not think of him any more, and yet he haunts my waking thoughts and dreams. I am not a mushy love kind of woman and don’t want to be a cliché, but this was a once in a lifetime kind of connection, the stuff that inspires power love stories. I have taken the position that this is not meant to be, and yet there is still a powerful nagging feeling that things are not over. I have to say, it’s kind of a pain living with this day in and day out. Why would the Universe show me something so amazing and whisk it away? OK, whisk away if need be, but whisk away the sorrow, too.

Kelly in Chicago

Dear Kelly,

Your last sentence about whisking away sorrow made me laugh with recognition and in appreciation of your wry humor. I’ve said similar things many times in discussions with Spirit Guides, Higher Self and the Universe. In response, I’ve usually gotten a patient smile, a pat on the head and the assurance that when I’m centered and peaceful again I will understand and be at peace with what happened. Which has always turned out to be true.

I tell you this so that you know you’re not alone in receiving pretty much the same message from your own Higher Self and Spirit Guides regarding your desire to get past the pain of loss. But that’s just the first part of your message.

Why would the Universe show you something so amazing and then whisk it away? Your Higher Self, Spirit Guides and Guardian Angel have provided several layers of answers.

First, your Soul or Higher Self does not live solely within the boundaries of this lifetime; it has had many, many lifetimes already, and will have many, many more. And its awareness encompasses all those lifetimes, past and future, all the time. Time just doesn’t mean the same thing from that perspective. In the process of your evolution, you may receive tantalizing glimpses of wonderful possibilities which you won’t be able to fully experience until a later lifetime. This seems to be the case with the relationship you’ve asked about.

Second, while this relationship was a profound and amazing love story archetype, it’s not “once in a lifetime,” because there’s another one scheduled for you in this lifetime. I can’t tell when it will happen; I suspect much depends on how quickly you both master the spiritual tasks which will make you so compatible. But you will find each other. This next love will be different, of course, but it will be as passionate, wonderful and deeply connected in its own way.

Perhaps by now you understand why you have the nagging feeling that this recent relationship isn’t over. You’re right. It isn’t! But it does seem scheduled for completion in a future lifetime rather than now.

As for the “lessons” (which I prefer to call “growth opportunities”) contained in this experience, there’s no question that deepening of your faith is one of them. Perhaps the many-lifetimes perspective will help deepen your belief in the basic fact of our existence, a message I’ve heard from every Guardian Angel I’ve ever talked to: you are loved, and all will be well. (Just maybe not until next lifetime!)

In the meantime, please be patient with yourself, and with the process you’re going through while heading toward the peace, acceptance and anticipation you’ll feel when you finally believe in the core of your being that the love you glimpsed isn’t over at all. And that there’s a different magic in store in this lifetime!

Thanks so much, Kelly, for giving me a chance to answer in this column a question asked by a lot of callers!

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