Elona in Blacklick asks:
The love of my life has married a woman who has lots of money. He is my soulmate and my friend, but this woman came into his life and has bought her way into his life. We still see one another, and the experience is always a wonderful one. I have waited for this individual for a long time, and I still don’t want to let him go ever, though he is married to her. Will he always be with her? (No, they don’t have children together.) I know that love is with me, because five days after they were married he came right back to me. Please help, and let me know what I can do to get him back from her.
I’m very sorry, but you’re not going to like most of what I’m going to tell you. I just want you to be prepared.
Your friend, though he does love you, has carefully made his decisions. While this woman may have bought her way into his life, he was open and accepting. Now that they are married, he really has the best of both worlds. He goes home to her and her bank account, but still comes and goes around you as he pleases. He knows how much you love him, and he believes your love for him will continue to outweigh your anger and hurt, and that you will continue to embrace him rather than send him away.
His marriage is certainly not all peaches and cream. But, even though he is unhappy, he isn’t miserable. Because of that, and the lifestyle he now enjoys, his intention is to stay married for as long as he can. While he doesn’t believe that his marriage will last forever, he will continue to stay with her for the gifts and rewards.
You meet his emotional and physical needs, but he is intimate with her, too. Even though he cares for you, there will be times when he’ll treat you like a booty-call, so he doesn’t get caught. When things aren’t going so smoothly at home, these are the times he wants and needs you the most, but she’ll reign in his leash.
If you want to continue this friendship and affair, you certainly can do that. But, if that is what you want, you need to understand that things aren’t going to change any time soon. Based on this moment in time, it looks as if he’ll be married to her for at least another four to six years.
I’m really sorry.
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