Red Responds: Will He Come Back?

Elona in Blacklick asks:

The love of my life has married a woman who has lots of money. He is my soulmate and my friend, but this woman came into his life and has bought her way into his life. We still see one another, and the experience is always a wonderful one. I have waited for this individual for a long time, and I still don’t want to let him go ever, though he is married to her. Will he always be with her? (No, they don’t have children together.) I know that love is with me, because five days after they were married he came right back to me. Please help, and let me know what I can do to get him back from her.

Dear Elona,

I’m very sorry, but you’re not going to like most of what I’m going to tell you. I just want you to be prepared.

Your friend, though he does love you, has carefully made his decisions. While this woman may have bought her way into his life, he was open and accepting. Now that they are married, he really has the best of both worlds. He goes home to her and her bank account, but still comes and goes around you as he pleases. He knows how much you love him, and he believes your love for him will continue to outweigh your anger and hurt, and that you will continue to embrace him rather than send him away.

His marriage is certainly not all peaches and cream. But, even though he is unhappy, he isn’t miserable. Because of that, and the lifestyle he now enjoys, his intention is to stay married for as long as he can. While he doesn’t believe that his marriage will last forever, he will continue to stay with her for the gifts and rewards.

You meet his emotional and physical needs, but he is intimate with her, too. Even though he cares for you, there will be times when he’ll treat you like a booty-call, so he doesn’t get caught. When things aren’t going so smoothly at home, these are the times he wants and needs you the most, but she’ll reign in his leash.

If you want to continue this friendship and affair, you certainly can do that. But, if that is what you want, you need to understand that things aren’t going to change any time soon. Based on this moment in time, it looks as if he’ll be married to her for at least another four to six years.

I’m really sorry.

Brightest Blessings,


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4 thoughts on “Red Responds: Will He Come Back?

  1. ezenmor

    I so much appreciate your comment, Tray. I have had a similar experience. It’s somewhat money and somewhat social atmosphere, but it’s still hard to let go even though I know “it is what it is”. It took a while to get here, but sometimes, it’s best to let it go… he likes the “image” and also wants the passion. He’ll find plenty of passion with others, and hopefully I’ll find both with some”one”.
    Good luck to all in this situation.

  2. ???????? ??????????

    Very well said Tray! I agree wif u. And Elona, he/she was right. Love urself first before u love others. It’s not about being selfish or what, but dats a fact. Prayers/wish/dreams are useful to us, but our own action & free will will decide where we will go. Believe or not, U deserve sumone who’s much better than dat person. May God bless you always 😉

    Best regards,

  3. Tracey

    Hey Elona
    I feel for you ,,, Im in the same situation,except he didnt marry her, just moved, 3 hrs away, and in with the same type of woman… Our time together is precious, but I have told him he made his choice, where to lay his head and all I want is for him to be happy, and if she is what he wants then he has to be totally honest with me ,,even if it breaks my heart,,,, it is so hard to watch him walk away knowing where he is going, I just am not ready to fully let go yet , especialy when our time together is so amazing, I love him and he tells me he loves me, which by the way it took both of us a long time to be able to say to each other, but I also told him all I want is what everyone wants,, someone to take care of me, treat me as I deserve and someone who places me as #1 ,, not 2 or 3,etc. As I said it is so hard to say goodbye after an day, night, week of being together,,,, good luck and be good to yourself first!!!!!!!

  4. tray

    Dear Elona,

    Where is Blacklick? …. LOL, sorry, that name’s just too good. Anyway, Joe Dingleberry did you a big favor: he openly showed you his true colors and that, in essence, he’s just a male hooker who values money way more than a reciprocal love relationship. In fact, it doesn’t look as if he values love at all. Nor does he care about your feelings. He sounds both immoral and amoral. Is that someone you want to spend time with or the rest of your life with?

    Best advice: look at it as a learning experience and be very thankful you weren’t married to that schmuck. Or, god forbid, have kids with him. Cut your losses and run like a horse from a burning barn. Tell him he made his choice and now you’re going to go find a real man. Don’t talk to him or see him after that, and do all you can to put him out of your mind. Good luck.


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