Sex Q&A: Why Do Men Lie?

While lying is not gender specific, men lie because of many reasons: they don’t want a relationship, sexual monogamy is important to you and so on. So what are the reasons that men lie to women?

Looking for Help With Honesty in Relationships

Nikisha from Georgetown asks:

Why do men lie?

Liam’s Response:

Greetings, Nikisha. Lying is hardly gender specific. Though all animals have a propensity for deception in rudimentary forms, we humans really have cornered the market on the art of lying. As our language and communication skills evolved, so did our social game with simple survival and mating opportunity being the prime motivators in our kingdom. There are some theories in evolutionary biology that tie the human propensity to deceive to mating strategies and males no doubt utilized such methods to propagate as much progeny as possible. But if men were the only species members to use lying for mating or survival strategies, then only men would lie well. And sorry to say, that just ain’t so.

I think what you’re really asking is why men lie to you. Men lie to you about wanting a relationship because few men really want relationships in this day and age and you do. And men lie to you about sleeping with other women because you hold sexual monogamy as an ideal and they find it easier not to rock the boat. Not to be outdone, studies show women lie most (and best) when they’re lying to their supposedly monogamous partners. All people lie, Nikisha. You lie too. But the biggest and most destructive lies are the ones we tell ourselves. Drop all that self-deceit and you’ll be surprised how easily you see through other people’s bull. Once you do that, believe it or not, authentic people can be found… men included. Diogenes searched the world for one honest man and came up empty. I don’t know if you’ll fare any better, but I do think you’ll find someone who is kind and good to you. Just be honest.

4 thoughts on “Sex Q&A: Why Do Men Lie?

  1. chuck

    Why do women lie, I’ve been involved with a beautiful women for over two years. She is also involved with another man prior to me. She don’t seem to want to break it off with him cuz he’s a good provider to her kids. When I want to break it off she comes up with some whoopers, like the last time I left her she was out walking looking for me and she was attacked, I’ve since proven that to be a lie along with all the rest of the times she’s got me back. We army even having sex, all we have done was kissed allot. I have lost everything over this women but I’m being the selfish one. I’m trying to slowly move on with my life but keep getting dragged under by some kind of spell she has me under. I feel like I’m being used and abused by her. I was with a friend last night having a good time but she called me wanting me to go some where with her so I dropped what I was doing and left with her. I know I sound pathetic but I am in love with her and she knows it.

  2. Startwin

    Thank you Liam for this very informative info. Yes, I have had my share of lying men.
    And yes, there are women out there who lie also. When I date the first thing I tell them is
    to be honest and that I am not playing games. But, even then there is still that doubt that
    they are lying anyway. I still have hope that I will come across to that honest person who
    is really honest and not playing games, which is a waste of time.
    Again thank you Liam.

  3. Mary

    Interesting article but then I think you always write very deep and interesting article. However, I was somewhat confused as to how I understood the question. I don’t think that Nakishia was excluding herself, I like to think that she knows why she and women lie but in her pain of being deceit she wanted to know what motivates men to lie and in particular to her. Most admit this question could have been interpret in many ways because how it was written and generalizations lend themselves to misinterpretations.

    I l like your answer of human survivable and self interest, because basically that is what it comes down to whether is a child telling a lie or an adult no matter what their sex may be.

    I agree that we as a society have corner human’s to lie and be deceitful because of our inabilities to admit and accept our imperfect. A perfect example of this is the judge who sits in a courthouse and convicts a rapist or murderer to prison and in the mean time when he removes his judge rope he goes out and commits these same crimes. The counselor who provides counseling to victims or abuser of domestic violence and later we see them on the news being convicted of some horrific act of violence toward his or her family.

    I do believe that the more we evolve in a complex society and social structure the more we feel the need to protect ones’ interest. With all this said, I also believe some people have more opportunity to be more honest than others. If this is what you seek then you should look for like minded individuals, but of course we as a society find these people boring, naive and not much fun!.

  4. brenda

    Men DO lie more than women. Most women are loyal when they find a good mate. If you catch a man in a lie, beware, since when you find a LIAR you will also find a THIEF. They go hand in hand. Men WILL lie to you because they can never get their fill of strange pieces. Simple as that. The Bible even says, ‘Man’s Eyes Are NEVER Full’. At the root of it all is sexual addiction, which nowadays is really exacerbated by all the free porn online. In my opinion most men are not worth their salt and certainly not worth my time. But, having said that, there are STILL a few good men out there. Few and far between but they are there. The only problems is I am not willing to ‘kiss a hundred frogs’ before finding the decent one. I would like to remain healthy and hepatitis free. God knows where their mouth has been last. Uggghhh no wonder a lot of women are turning to the gay life. They have had their fill of the Liars and the Cheats. Better buck up guys because the women are getting smarter all the time and your pickins are getting scarcer every day!


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