My soulmate left me and came back many times over. Will we ever have a stable and intimate relationship when I’ve only ever been the back-up plan?
Is it Really Necessary for Somebody to be Your “Soulmate”?
Robert from Rockford, Illinois asks:
My soulmate left me, came back, left me again and then came back again. Now we’re living together again, but she only loves me as a friend. Do you think that we will be intimate again?
Hey, Robert. Thanks for writing. I see you’re a fellow Moon Child. It’s always a pleasure to hold council with one of my own kind and I hope I can offer a few insights that will help you navigate the difficult situation you find yourself in just now. We Cancers are prone to bouts of fanatical sentimentality and unchecked nostalgia. Geminis may be famous for their classic duality, but it is the Crab who is so often fragmented into a myriad of raving internal contradictions. In any case, it’s very important not only for Cancerians, but for everyone, whatever their sign, to examine their actions and reactions to situations closely and honestly without the pallor of metaphysical or new age nonsense casting vulgar shadows all over the landscape. These things mar the poetry of human experience, serving only as spiritually imagined mandates for our childish whims.
Real love has nothing to do with soulmate speculation. In your inquiry, I hear you use the term in an attempt to justify your wish to have this woman love you, as though the gods or the universe have put their stamp of approval on your desire without regard for what another human being thinks or wants. It justifies your behavior where she is concerned… After all, if this woman is your “soulmate” then it’s perfectly okay for you to make a fool of yourself. Snap out of it, man! This woman doesn’t love you. She doesn’t even hold very much in the way of true friendship for you. She’s just taking full advantage of the feelings you have for her. For her, you’re the backup plan. You’re the nice guy she hangs out with when her real love interests dump her. And your living arrangement of cohabitation minus sex is of great benefit to her at this time. She’s getting a very good deal out of all of this and you, my friend, are getting the shaft.
Personally I think you should forget all this soulmate nonsense. You’re being conned by your own pie-in-the-sky fantasies and life’s too short for that. Do yourself a big favor and let this woman go… And this time don’t bother letting her back in. You deserve better from someone who claims to be your friend. Your pain will pass as pain like this always does and you’ll be a good deal better off.
Do you have a question for Liam? Ask Liam your question now.