Sex Q&A: Do Soulmates Exist?

A man wonders if the man he just met is his soulmate or not. Should he stick around and develop a relationship, or should he keep it causal? Liam weighs in with his thoughts on soulmates.

Is He Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now?

Daniel from Los Angeles, California asks:

Liam, I recently chose to accept my sexuality and have ventured to try and date men and see what the universe holds for me. I was once told by a psychic that I was to find my soulmate exactly two months after I moved to Los Angeles. Two weeks shy of the two months, I met a guy named Paul and we hit it off right away. Our connection is strong, and the romance and intimacy are definitely evident, but I am wondering where this relationship will go, and if he is my soulmate or not.

The characteristics told to me by the psychic do not match Paul at all, but I am curious to know why we are in each others’ lives. I don’t mind the journey if this is  meant to be brief, yet I am wondering if I should make a commitment to him, or keep it casual (and possibly lose him because he wants a relationship). I am a guy who seeks the true warmth of a soulmate or very special person, so I am eager to find that person, instead of floating around the dating world. Have you any insights for me Liam? Many blessings to you!

Liam’s Response:

Greetings, Daniel, and thanks so much for your inquiry. First let me offer my congratulations on coming out. Then let me advise you to forget this business about what the universe might or might not hold. You have been bold and self-honest and in doing so you create your own destiny. You, my friend, are young. The whole of this strange world of wonder and woe stands before you and you’re off to a remarkably good start by venturing forth in courage. But as I am the resident slayer of illusions, I fear I must take the proverbial red pen to some of the notions you maintain. A few years ago I wrote a counter view to the modern notion of soulmates and twin flames and all that other nonsense. Though I by no means begrudge you your beliefs, I do hope you’ll be very careful of blindly accepting western mutations of eastern thought. For the most part they are little more than nifty, new age marketing strategies—great for selling books and filling sign-up sheets at workshops. The fact is, you dig the idea of soulmates because you fear alteration, because you’re young and insecure, and the promise of a soulmate handpicked for you by a benevolent universe is a safe bet that guarantees you a loving pair bond you won’t have to suffer to obtain. In the words of Amy Grant, “Love’s not like that.”

And thank the gods it’s not. What an adventure we’d miss out on if it was. What opportunities for growth and experience we would lose. What I would like, Daniel, is to see you continue being interested in spiritual topics while maintaining a healthy ability to check things out from other perspectives beyond the new age mainstream. Because of your anxiety over what some reader told you, you’re not giving the relationship you have much of a chance. Love is about losing yourself in the embrace of another. It is the Divine Mystery. No, this man is not your soulmate. He is Paul. He is funny and smart and a little bit goofy, and he cares for you. Isn’t that what really matters?

You’re very young, Daniel. No matter what you decide to believe about soulmates or anything else, you shouldn’t be focusing your attention on finding that “one and only” lifetime relationship. You need to spend some time just living life. Enjoy your time with Paul; grow with him. You’ll have other partners and other relationships and each of these people deserves to be known and experienced and loved for who they are… for their own unique spirit and grace. Give up on the goal, and you’ll be surprised what awaits.


Do you have a question for Liam? Ask Liam your question now.

38 thoughts on “Sex Q&A: Do Soulmates Exist?

  1. somima

    I’d like to read views like this again and again and again… Wisdom has to be repeated often – Liam is a master in doing this – its like fresh water after a long wandering

  2. Len

    Awesome answer and advice Liam –

    I have been in this Business for many years and I have seen so many people get hung out and left to dry – waiting for their, “soul mate”.

    Regardless of the “Plan” you may of put together before embarking on this adventure here on earth – All of our experiences are based on choices we make everyday, (taking into account that when – very young – many of those choices may have been made for us).
    Being able to experience Love and happiness is never a bad thing, regardless the length of a relationship.
    When a person is less fearful they tend to make choices that steer them towards a more fruitful life.

    Choose to experience and live – you can always change direction at any time.

  3. mila

    Hi Liam,
    My husband left me for a younger woman, we been married for more than 30 yrs. My question is , is there hope that he will come back to me? and I would like to know if he still love me, because I still love him.I would like to hear your advice.Thank you Liam.

  4. Angela

    Good advice given. That would go for anybody looking for a soulmate. Enjoy life and enjoy the person that happens to be in your life at that time.

  5. Veronica Zigon

    I am considered an attractive/good,loving woman..hard-working woman.I have dated plenty…As I keep getting older,,,Wondering is m soulmate out there?I know here is a mate for everyone…I find I cant find an interest in anybody..Only unavailable men…I met a gentleman recently (not my type) but has my interest…Maybe Im intrigued right now..Would love to sette down ..Im 52 years old..Is there hope for me ?lol

  6. Amy

    Liam’s insight is amazing. While it probably seems very harsh to some who prefer to believe that there is such thing as a perfect relationship, the fact is that we do not live in a perfect world, and Liam’s insight is spot on.

  7. Amanda

    So true, thanks for this article & thanks for slaying the notion of the cookie cutter soul mate stigma! People find it eiter depressing because of the notions that the ones they love may not be their soul mate (when in fact they are) or that they even have to have a “soul mate” at all in order to achieve personal happiness!

  8. Donald

    I am wanting to know if I will meet a new woman in the near future? Because there is one woman in my life now that I do love but I haven’t heard from her in a while now and wondering if I lost her, her name is Melissa, but there is something else going on here that I have to concentrate on to and that is helping my parents move out of the house we have been living in since 1992 to now and I have been taking care of my parents this whole time and I know that I will be rewarded for it to because I did hear about one woman who is divorced and I really like the way she looks and that I can talk to her any time I want to so I want to know if I will meet my soulmate where I am at now?

  9. Jean

    when i met my husband i knew he was going to be my husband. And now 28 years later he says he doesn’t have feelings for me anymore and we are now getting a divorce am i ever going to get him out of my mind and get over him?

  10. Caren

    Hi Liam,

    I have not had the best luck with relationships in my life. I was married three times and the last marriage ended 20 years ago. I have learned to be happy alone, and have much going: am going to school to become a health coach, am working doing childcare and possibly starting a business.All are fun and exciting!

    I have dear women friends and my favorite thing is to go to lunch dinner and talk with one of them for hours catching up. That brings me great joy, almost better than an orgasm!

    So could this be it? Is it possible to find one’s fulfillment completely on her own? I have a friend who says thats where she is and when she first said it a few years ago, I thought that could never be me, but another un successful relationship since, and the completion of menopause and frankly, its starting to feel like my reality more and more. I am 57, and full of energy and life.

    I would love to hear your opinion,

    Thanks so much,

    Caren from NM

  11. Lisa

    Dear, dear Liam! I truly love your point blank, realistic and totally honest approach. 🙂
    You are totally correct about life’s lessons. To truly know & appreciate a good relationship, first we need to experience life, love, heartbreak (unfortunately) and all that comes along with them. The trials and tribulations of unfortunate pairings are what allow us to make better decisions in the future and make us stronger as human beings. After all, if we never encounter Mr. Wrong and learn to recognize and accept the flaws that made a relationship go south, how are we going to know when we meet Mr. Right?

    I’m a graduate of that school of hard knocks & life lessons and I sincerely hope Daniel heeds your advice and enjoys the ride and learns from the experience. Daniel, cherish what you have and let go of the concept of finding a “soul mate”. I hope you find true happiness! In this life, that is more that many people have because they focus on expectations rather than learning to appreciate love when it is being offered.


  12. Marguerite

    Thank you, Liam, for enabling me to see the true meaning of words such as “soulmate.” I embrace your vision of LOVE and life … “Love is about losing yourself in the embrace of another.” I will continue to love others for their own unique spirit and grace, and for being blessed by a few brief moments in time with them…

    May the light of LOVE always embrace you


  13. yvonne

    I hope that you are able to respond back to husband and I seem
    to get into a arguement every other day over little things. Is this the way
    it is going to be? are should we separate? I’m tired of fighting and getting worried
    of how this will effect my kids.thank you

  14. Mark

    I am a little confused. I am gay and older than the young man I love. He claims to be straight and a realy good friend. We have expressed our love for each other verbaly and with hugs. He gets upset if I talk to other guys but wont come out of the closet due to his family and religion. I am about to giveup on him and write it off. Im single an have been alone for 5 years now,growing tired of being that way….am I right to move on or should I wait?

  15. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Hail and Well Met, Sir Liam

    “”” For the most part they are little more than nifty, new age marketing strategies—great for selling books and filling sign-up sheets at workshops. The fact is, you dig the idea of soulmates because you fear alteration, because you’re young and insecure, and the promise of a soulmate handpicked for you by a benevolent universe is a safe bet that guarantees you a loving pair bond you won’t have to suffer to obtain. In the words of Amy Grant, “Love’s not like that.””””

    I agree, 500%, with the paragraph ( I copied above ), from your article.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

  16. Lyte

    Dear Liam, I have been living on the West Coast for 7mos. I haven’t start dating yet. But I am interested in someone who is 7 years younger than me. But I’m kinder skeptical about him because I don’t know if he wants a realationship or he wants to just date. What should I do? Should I tell him how I feel or should just keep my guards up?

  17. Lisa


    I the advice that you gave this client thought it was very good and very tactful and very true nothing is ever carved in stone the way people come and go these day’s the best a person can hope for is happiness with the likes of another individual that is of the same demeanor.

  18. chuck

    I’m in somewhat a rather strange relationship with a libra weather that’s of any merit or not I don’t know but I’m a Virgo born on the 22nd. The relationship started like most we became friends first and in two years has progressed into huggs and kissing. She is already in a relationship and what I can figure an unhappy one. There are kids involved also. I’ve tried to move forward in this relationship but she cannot because of her still being in a relationship and other factors. I’m the one that wants to move forward it just get a no answer from her. Id like to move on but it makes it hard when she will not commit one way or the other. I’ve tried to leave her so I could start to heal but she is very attached to me and she makes up stories to get me back, for example she said she was attacked and went to the hosp and made a police report. After coming back I checked into this and no records were found. I was glad to be back but wonder why she makes up allot of things just to keep me around. I am very much in love with her but still haven’t figured her out be cause she can’t commit to one relationship. I can’t help to believe that she has been using me for her security or something else. she also refuses to be friends if I leave her which at this point might be for the best. She reminds me that I will miss her and she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me but she won’t move forward in our relationship. I stay confused with her most of the time. I’ve got advice from all the people that know me and they all advise me to leave her for my own good. I know we are attracted to each other but I want more. Its been going on for more than two years and I’m not wanting to keep waiting, life is to short and I’m not getting any younger. I want to be in a relationship with her or see what else is out there. My fear is what if I end this and she was on the verge of commitment to me because she is everything I ever wanted in a women and more. My fear is real and I beloved well founded.

  19. Startwin

    Hi! Liam, thank you for your article. You, are so right about what you told Daniel.
    I myself have herd people always say there looking for there soul mate. From reading
    your articles and other psychics saying that there are many soul mates. Now it makes
    sense in our life times we should enjoy the time we have with the future partners and
    relationships that come into our lives. But, Liam for me sometimes I get tired and
    just want to settle with that special one. Dating is such a job. But I know to find that
    special person you must continue the search. Thank you again for your article and advice
    I will keep your advice in mind as I continue my search.

  20. Cassey

    Hello im 25 years old,i was married for 7 years. My marriage was really bad the last year of it. Like i could be home with him and he wouldnt say one word to me all day,but as soon as his mom would come in hed talk to her as if i wasnt even there. I supported both of us the past 3 years. I left him for my boyfriend who ive been with for 6 months. Hes really sweet to me and shows me he loves me. He is 40 years old,but we have so much in common. I really do love him. And hope he is my soulmate. When i lay in bed with him i feel like this is where im suppose to be.

  21. Cyn

    The voice of reason! Thank you, Liam. Your posts are always refreshing. Soulmate is not a one and only forever and ever. In fact, I have/had several and expect to encounter several more.

  22. Anthony

    Although i applaud Liam for answering a question on soulmates between 2 men, i found it odd & if i’m honest insulting, that you would then print a photo of a man & woman next to the article, when this is clearly a gay male who is writing. Are you ready to take the next step and publish 2 people of the same sex together. To me this would really show how accepting you are of everybody, regardless of their sexuality.

  23. Athena

    Hi Liam, How are you? You are so right about RELEASE AND SURRENDER to love and life. When I was younger, I was told by a mentor, “If you don’t have goals, you will never reach them.” The preceding ideology served me well in my twenties and thirties. I was able to achieve the basics: a couple of degrees, my own place and a nifty little car. And then, I started to read your articles regarding losing the goal for the mere joy and growth of the journey led by desires. Lo and behold, I find my self in a completely different place of an expansive universe. I always felt, I was DIFFERENT from the mainstream, and thanks to you THE UGLY DUCKLING is becoming the SWAN without regrets.

  24. suzanne

    Ah, once again Liam you have taken a fantasy thought and cleared it. I, too , believed that there was only one true soul mate..Having had experienced a few “Soul Mates” myself I concluded the same as you,,They have all been my Soul’s Mates because my soul craved what they were there to teach me about myself and how I viewed things in a Relate tion Ship. Frankly I was not on board for most of them..Seeking a relationship for the purpose of feeling fulfilled, is not finding a soulmate, Thank ,G ood O rderly D irection for the fact that a few are still in the Friend Ship. Those fabulous people are definately Soul Mates.

  25. Laurie

    THANK YOU Liam… Finally someone became brave enough to state the truth. I am a long time psychic reader myself and often get frustrated by the “soul mate/ twin flame” question. You are so right on here. Its not about whats waiting in the Universal world of the unknown it IS about what is happening right now. Yeah Daniel for finding this beautiful relationship. Enjoy and honor all of the gifts within it! Thank you Liam for your honesty!

  26. Hal Everett

    Liam, I just read what you advised Daniel. I agree with you. I’ve been there, learned many of life’s lessons along the way. I met a guy named Daniel (DAN) in January 2002. I believed I found the one. I met him thru the Hardcore phone sex line. I desired him, looking forward to our 1st sexual experience. Its September 23 2012, I still see him. The sexual energy is still there however, it hasn’t happened yet and probably will not, his choice. This guy has had sexual encounters with my neighbors and friends. I even saw him performing oral in Staples restroom. This guy doesn’t work, he lives off of others generosity. It took alot of soul searching on my part and praying for guidance to GOD. I see him for exactly who and what he is. Frankly, I’m not interested the the fairy tale anymore. I know I’m a good person and a very good sexual companion, friend. Its his loss if he doesn’t care to at least find out himself. I’ve decided to move on and change this holding pattern I’ve been in and enjoy life before I leave this world. Life is an adventure, as 2012 coming to a close so is this chapter in my life. 2013 has a new beginning for me, you, all. Let’s make the most of it.


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