Speak Up: Stop Letting People Pick on You

Keep Your Self-Esteem!

Carrie from Fortuna, California asks:

I feel like this world is falling down on me. How can I feel proud of myself when people are always saying hurtful things to me? Why do people hurt other people? Is it part of life’s tests?

Dear Carrie,

You become proud of yourself, i.e. love yourself, once you actually do things that honor yourself. If you keep waiting for approval from others and for them to validate your existence and worth, you’ll never be happy.

See, it doesn’t really matter what other people are saying, once you learn to not put so much stock in another’s word. Sometimes, people say hurtful things because they simply don’t know how to say it better, because they have issues on their own, because it makes them feel better to put another down, because they are ignorant; I could continue this list for a mile, but it all boils down to the same message: most people’s behaviors have nothing to do with you. And on that note, you don’t have any control at all over their actions or words. You do, however, have control over how you react to other people’s crap.

Honestly, Carrie, right now you are sounding like a victim. You are sounding like someone who tries very heard and doesn’t understand why the meanies of the world keep picking on you. And the truth is, just like in the animal kingdom, weakness, victimhood, low self-esteem, etc. are the first thing that people will perceive about you. The best example I can offer to prove my point is the good, old excuse of “I can’t find a partner because I’m overweight.” How often have you seen a person walk into a room, exuding strength, confidence and personality to the point that everyone flocked to them, regardless of their size?

“Our self-esteem is damaged by our wounds. As our self-esteem diminishes… we become hungrier than ever for love and acceptance.” – Psychic Larkin ext. 5707

There are many ways to deal with one’s issues of self-deprecation, fear, depression, low self-esteem and whatever else may hold you back, and they all start with you making a stand for yourself and  realizing that you are not a victim.

Everything in life depends on making a decision. You must decide when enough is enough, and then do the work that will make your ambitions a reality. We get a clean slate each and every morning when we get up. We practice and sometimes we may fail and sometimes we do not. But with continued practice, one sooner or later notices that the failures become less and less, because your practice has now become a habit, and hence, a part of you.

Good luck and keep your head high!

“If we work to heal ourselves, we set a wonderful example for any and all others we come into contact with.” – Psychic Yemaya ext. 5143

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4 thoughts on “Speak Up: Stop Letting People Pick on You

  1. Alexandra

    I do not agree totally with this. Many people that try to demeane or belittle another person
    is most of the time insecure lacking self worth and pick on someone they perceive “inferior” to them or don’t like for a particular reason (different ethnicity, nationality, background, specially if they happen to be “white & blond” and the other person is not), whom they feel superior to due to those characteristics. Sometimes they feel “threatened” by authenticity, inner strength,
    popularity, success of those people they bully, reject, put down due to their own misguided feeling of superiority.

  2. Giovanna

    Kudos. I’m 44 years old and have lived on my own since I was 18, but my family still insists that I do things their way. I now finally put my foot down and told them that I’m an adult, not a child and I know what I need to do with my life. Suggestions are welcome but insistence is not. They don’t like it but too bad.


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