Sex Q&A: Be a Real Woman, Dump that Coward!

Don’t Waste Your Time on Cowards

Agnes from Akwesasne, New York asks:

I haven’t been with a man for a very long time. This friend of mine is a married man. We’ve kept in touch thru emails and have been sending each other sexual comments. I feel that he is cheating on his wife, but I don’t care, and it seems that he doesn’t either. At one time, he said, “Just because I’m married, it doesn’t mean that I get it all the time, and it has died down.” Should I feel guilty because of that?

We had an encounter a month ago. It wasn’t what I expected. I thought we would make passionate love. We fondled each other and kissed, but when it came time to have intercourse, his “Bob” didn’t want to cooperate. Why? We tried and tried and then gave up. Now I get the feeling that he doesn’t want anything to do with me. He doesn’t write to me anymore, and when I send him something, it’s “yes,” “no” or one line stuff. I miss him a lot. He gave me the hint that he wanted me, and now no more. I’m still crazy for him.

Liam’s Response:

Greetings, and thank you for sharing. It is indeed a heart wrenching situation; a sorrow-laden commentary on our modern concepts of sexual expression. Love-making need not be reliant on the act of penetration. That act, though it is something of a coup de grace, is but a portion of the entire orchestration… One movement in many. It cannot only be compensated for, but dispensed with altogether in favor of other, more delicate methods. However, that sort of exchange requires experience and education and, alas, neither you nor your “lover” appear to possess either. Your fellow likes to posture and strut. He likes to pretend that he has such sophisticated abilities, but his actual behavior indicates someone very limited in the area of amorous understanding. I look at him, and he appears to me to simply be one more middle aged man who is tired of his life and bored with his marriage. He blames his spouse for those problems and for his general lack of sensual experience. In pursuing your attention and affection, he was seeking release from the pain and monotony of his existence, which might have been a noble quest if it weren’t for the fact that this poor man isn’t nearly as adept a lover as he likes to presume. This isn’t the first time he’s sought novelty as a cure to his troubles and not the first time he’s had “issues” living up to his own hype. Now, it is true that many married men have indeed cured their sexual problems by seeking a sexual surrogate outside the marriage because it’s easier for a man to use a stranger sexually than to seduce and make love to a wife. Mistresses were kept in ages past just for this reason. But when it came down to actually happening for this man, the experience wasn’t quite what he thought it would be. He got anxious. He got intimidated because, in essence, this so-called man is still just a little boy. Little boys are scared of real women. And now, like all little boys who talk ever so big, he’s run away. Home to mama (his wife) where he can have a nice warm dinner, and cozy time far away from that scary woman who almost led him to ruin. In his mind, it was all your fault, just like his boredom is all his wife’s fault. Of course, now that he’s home and safe, he’s no doubt back online, giving the same spiel of sexual prowess and forced repression to some other woman. But this time, he’ll probably be lax to actually meet with her. He’s a child, Agnes. Be done with him. You are a very warm and loving person. Don’t waste your time on cowards.

Liam

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46 thoughts on “Sex Q&A: Be a Real Woman, Dump that Coward!

  1. Ffeson

    Unquestionably believe that which you said. Your favorite reason seemed to be on the internet the simplest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I certainly get irked while people think about worries that they plainly do not know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and also defined out the whole thing without having side effect , people could take a signal. Will probably be back to get more. Thanks

    Reply
  2. Jagdeep

    shokkou11:05pm, 23.Apr.09Thank goodness. Pepperland rortesed. At times i worry that, in the future, there will be nobody left to love The Beatles. What kind of world would that be? Tragic, no doubt.{}

    Reply
  3. Sotobedivorced

    I have a different situation and would like to ask for some opinions, please!

    I’m going through a divorce after 37-1/2 years of marriage – no other person in picture, he just wants out – job more important! We married after high school (17 & 18) – no pregnancy! I have medical problems he doesnt’ want to “deal with if needed down the road”. In this day and age, I’m scared to death about having sex with another man! Frankly, I don’t want another relationship/committment” – once was enough – I’ve done my time! I don’t want to be alone either!

    Is it okay to think I can ask my ex for sex occassionaly? Is it wrong? Would I appear to be desperate? Or should I even bring it up? We agree our sex life was great but not enough to keep a marriage! If he isn’t seeing anyone – then I have no fears of STD’s. However, if he is seeing someone – forget the idea!

    Just wondering!!

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  4. K

    So true Liam. I myself am currently in the same situation. We work together and I see him everyday. Even worse, he is going out with other women in the same office. What shocks me is that the other women who knew we were lovers are now in competition with me vying for his attention. As far as I am concerned, he can have them all. Bcoz I now know that he is only using all of us.
    Dear Agnes, it is not an easy situation. But better muster your courage and let him out of your life.

    Reply
  5. aimee

    As a sexual counselor and tantric teacher these are exactly the clients I work with.

    Sexuality grows deeper and deeper like the roots of a tree, the connections and intimacies also can be stronger and deeper.
    The post menopausal women and the men with ED, those who think the only way to connect is through penetration, couples who need to reconnect to ‘fix’ their financial woes and family balance.

    I wish I could address the posts above, as I hear your pains and passions and confusion. I encourage you all to step outside the box and find a tantric relationship coach and try connecting through breathing and presence and kindness. Create a safe place for yourself and your partners…
    I wish I could help you all.

    Peace and Love and Heart.

    Reply
  6. confused

    my husband has been having an affair for 5mons. i love him dearly and would love to make are marriage work ,we have been doing real well with communication,respect,understanding,are feelings ,but he travels for work and the other woman is where he goes what should i do…want to spend my life with him

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  7. Clare

    Okay, Maurice Smook, I am going to tell you straight out that you are in what is commonly known as an abusive relationship. You have been isolated from the rest of the world, denied joy and happiness in your interactions with other human beings, you are being threatened in that there is an implied threat that you will be imprisoned for wanting physical contact, and you are doing all of the chores. Any more hints? But the truth is, your wife has been abused by a religion that has told her (and many women throughout time) that sex is evil. Feminism does not teach that.
    Women’s liberation is not all about bashing men. That happens because when women try to live their own lives they discover often that they are simply not allowed. There is a difference between bashing and telling the truth even if it is negative. Women’s liberation is about just that – the liberation of women and all people from tyranny and the cruelty of oppression brought about by patriarchy.
    Your wife needs to be educated about healthy sexuality and you need to be educated about what women’s liberation really means. You will come across a lot of anger from women if you embark upon that journey of discovery but listen rather than immediately defending yourself and see if you don’t learn something.

    For you, Musashi, really, women’s spending accounts for 90% of economy. Do you actually live on the same planet that I do? Start over, and as for women needing to learn to be more seductive to keep their husbands at home, consider this. Maybe the reason men aren’t staying at home is because they are too lazy to be more seductive towards their wives by growing as human beings, seeing their wives as more than just receptacles and maids, learning that there is more to being a man than just whipping out your penis and screaming “me, me, me” everytime you get bored.

    Men are the reason men cheat. I repeat, men are the reason men cheat. I have been the cheated on and the other woman and in both cases the man was whining and kicking the proverbial can down the street crying “I’m bored, I’m bored” while the women, wife and other women, fussed and worried over his pretty little head.

    Amy Swanderski, it is because men want to have their cake and eat it too. Women want this too but at least women will look up a recipe and bake the cake. Men have been told that they are to have dominion over all and do whatever it takes to accomplish that. Because of that men never developed the ability to truly love – that’s women’s work. Everything to men is a conquest. For them the call of life is “divide and conquer” as with wives and girlfriends. For men the planet is a giant playground and all on it their toys to use and discard as they please. That is why they can’t handle real women. The reason that it is becoming worse is because all of the real people that men have been treating as toys in their G.I. Joe game are finally beginning to say no to them and they are all having a tantrum and taking suck fits. Men cannot commit because women like you have worked very hard to have their own in life and that means you naturally expect to be treated as a full fledged human being. Believe it or not this comes as a shock to men, in fact they are traumatized by it. “Wasn’t the world supposed to be MY playground? What do you mean you have ideas of your own? Waaa, Waaa, Waaa.” As men are finding out that us women actually expect to be able to have conversation and even differing viewpoints men are running away – becoming disenfranchised. Let them. We are not their mommies and men need to take a sit out in the corner and cry it out. In other words men it’s time to put your little G.I. Joe men away and grow the #%$& up.

    As for all of you little boys complaining that you are taking all of the blame. Awwww!

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  8. Shocked

    Wow, so many people having affairs thinking that it is an OK thing to do. Where are your morals? People have problems in their marriages and people like you make things worse. No one has a chance at fixing a problem when women are willing to jump into bed with married men. You are nothing but trash when you do that.

    Reply
  9. maurice smook

    Whenever I read about women having problems regarding sex, it boggles my mind. I haven’t had sexual encounters with my wife since summer of 95. I have never ran around to seek other women. I do not intend to pursue it. First of all sex is an illegal, immoral, illicit act. I have been cut off for 32 years of our 41 year marriage.

    I will never forget the day when I brushed my hands down along her hips. My wife immediately dropped the dishes in the sink and ran to the phone. She yelled out that she was calling the police. As she got to the last number she hung up. She yelled out stating this is a warning. The next time it will for real and prison will be your new and final home.

    I recall having sexual encounters 3 occasions that year. One encounter in April, one encounter in May and the third in first week in June of 95. I know how the law works. If she did dial that final number the police would have been at our place in matter of minutes. She would have put on a good act. I would have dragged out of my house and driven back to the nearest detachment. I would have probably have been assaulted and labeled as an pervert. I think back now I would have been a criminal. I would have faced some judge – who never had sex – sentencing me up to 25 years. It probably would have happened.

    My wife is religious. She was about sue her church, Why? The priest never educated her about sex. My wife believed that it was God who impregnated the wife. Sex among husband and wife was immoral, illegal and elicit. I was in shock when she told me that she had contacted a lawyer about wanting to sue the church and having me charged for rape. Yes rape. I was shocked. She demanded that I drive her to her hometown and so she could file the civil suit. Since that day I never wanted to have anything to do with her. Kissing, holding hands, hugging or even rub her shoulders is an sexual act.

    I am not seeking any pity etc. What almost happened could had me in prison for a long time. I do not want to any sexual encounter with my wife or seek any other women. I will just avoid her and just keep to myself. Why run around seeking another partner on the sly. Anything can occur. Sexual transmitted disease or blackmail etc. It is a losing battle. The only ones who do not have sex are ones from the judicial system. Nurses as well.

    Don’t think for one second that a situation like mine would not happen. It can. All it takes is one wrong word during love making can land a person in the slammer. I enjoyed doing work around the house. I loved fixing things. Now I don’t enjoy anything now. I did a lot for my wife. I do the housework. I looked after the children. I did the yard work. I do not drink or smoke. I never ran around. I was loyal. Now I have to look over my shoulder not knowing when the other half will do her patriotic duty having me locked up. Only the women’s liberation movement would love to have.

    Til this day it is still on the back of my mind. Love is only a smoke screen. Love is if the hubby has mega bucks and partying with the Jone’s. That all is it in a nut shell.

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  10. cheryl

    Great advice. The man can be a player in the single world as well. The poser, the flirt. the career Mr. wonderful. Cowards and truly scared little boys just looking for lots of attention. Thanks for giving this realionship problem attention.

    Reply
  11. Bonnie

    Me and my boyfriend has been together goin on 2 years and he has been cheating and lieing to me how can i go about that i love him very much and i just try to leave him alone but its hard please help me.

    Reply
  12. Tanya

    I have been with a young gentleman for 7 years this past year,he has been sick but he did not want me to know so he stayed away from home. So, his family got him to come back home in September of 2010. He was sick and I told him that he acted like he had diabetes but he did not want to believe it so in December it got really bad. So one Sunday morning, he was feeling really bad and he got up saying Tanya, “I’m ready to go to the hospital.” when we got their his sugar was 900 they put him in ICU because it was too high to be walking around. Now that he know that he is sick there are time know that I feel he hold on to it as a chutch. Please help me figure out what to do for him?

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  13. Galina

    Great response Liam, thank you. In my experience, married men are best left to their wives. The large majority of them are little boys who have got tired of their toys and comfortable existence are are looking for some variety elsewhere. They are cowards. In most cases they are not looking for love and romance, but just sex as a means of validation of themselves as “men”. Little do they know that there is much more to a real man than his ability to penetrate.

    A real man has integrity, strength, loyalty, guts, honesty, and courage to stand by his woman no matter what. If a relationship is going nowhere he will not try to hide hoping that it will go away, but will communicate and try to find out what can be done to make it better. And if he feels that there is nothing he can do to get the love and passion back, he will have the courage to walk away, and not look for substitutes to his sexual needs on the side, break another woman’s heart, and crawl away as a coward would, once she starts raising her stakes, just to repeat the cycle with someone else.

    Let us leave them to their wives – everyone will win this way!

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  14. Mariam El- bakdadi

    I loooooooveeeee this article .. This is so true and explains how some women are just simply just too much women for some men ..

    Reply
  15. caitriona

    Very well put Liam.It’s great to have this insight coming from a male prospective.It definately help’s to hear this.I’m only sorry I didn’t read this letter 5 yrs back as it would have saved me a long time of heartbreak and feeling “headwrecked”.Thank God I have come to the same conclusion as yourself,It just took time.Yippe!!!! I’m now the Girl I was before the hurt and endless worry about a man I fell for hook, line and sinker for.Now I have faith in myself,enjoy the good relationships that I have with my family and friends and have confidence that what is ment for me will not pass me by.Agnus I hope you will heed what Liam has to say and get out there and grab every new opportunity that comes your way and smile,smile,smile.

    Reply
  16. Musashi

    Hello,

    I just have to comment … From Women’s point of view (or anyone’s point of view), you’re always right. But, this is the hard fact that Women should have realized by now after 250,000 years of modern human existence. We are still “animals” first, a member of the animal kindom, and this is the real reason why Men/Women cheat … It’s a human instinct … It’s like asking why do we all eat everyday or breathe everyday … This is such a hard reality for women because women are very sensitive and tend to try to reason / intellectualize as to why a Man cheats. I’ve been trying for years to figure out why Women are attracted to Men with a good job or have a lot of money, spend so much on shopping (90% of economy evolves around Women’s spending – just look at the number of stores in a Mall for Women/Men), all the make-up, expensive clothes, etc…

    Plain and simple, it’s the instinct of survival for both women and men – to propagate the success of our species. So try to not over think … It’s really simple fact of life. If you’re no longer attracted to your man or your man is no longer attracted to you, it’s simply that his (or your) survival instinct to propagate is still strong. Wait until this instinct calms down and he’ll be more of what YOU want. You can also help ( talking about the poor lonely wife ) by seducing your man better to secure your man in your bed so that he will not wonder off so much.

    The truth always hurts. That’s life.

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  17. jewels

    just wanted to say …. nice way of putting it to her liam… I’m not sure if she handled that all that well .. but I can say you told it like it is and spoke only the truth … coming from another man … you see it like you know it and thats the difference in men and women .. thanks liam …

    Reply
  18. Tricia

    I have a different “take” on this. Agnes, “real women” do not participate with married men in sexual ways unless it’s a poly arrangement – you know, where everyone knows the truth, agrees to being open and the basis of ALL healthy relationships exists – trust. So, my response to you would be to take a hard look at yourself and at why you would treat this man’s wife so unfairly, then at how loving you actually are towards him to encourage his deceit and most of all, at how you are treating yourself. He, like most husbands, is having a sexual relationship with his wife. Perhaps impotence is an attack of conscience and a sign of love for his wife, despite his weakness in playing with you? As for the history of mistresses, they were the only women who were allowed to be educated and to control their own funds. If a man impregnated one, he was not financially responsible as he would be, with his wife’s children. A lot of men want a wife and lovers, so if you want to be one of the lovers, then you should accept your desire to be in that position, accept the romantic and sexy words as truth, and accept that in these set-ups, you must submit to his rules, limitations – and be grateful. If it seems like crumbs, then maybe you prefer to be the wife? Of course, now that you have treated a wife in such a way, you are stuck with a lifetime of suspicion when he is, or is not, with his mistress. If water seeks its own level, and thing didn’t work out with you and him, maybe you should take that as a sign you aren’t playing at the level you can, or should.

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  19. Stepfanie

    If someone told you to live your life like its golden..but doesn’ show you that they are sincere about any/everything you do..but wants you believe in his dreams.. Im tired of the double standards he makes me live by

    Reply
  20. Robyn

    I had a somewhat similar experience but the differences are that when it began, over a year ago , I wAs also married(now Im separated) also when it came time for us to physically be together, it was actually the best I have ever experienced. there wAs. Chemistry that words cannot describe. We seldom speak anymore & I am tryin to move on. I recently had a rebound fling that left me longing for him even more. I feel as if I will never come close to finding another man that I will have that connection with and I can’t move on. Any advice? My head knows this is not the right man for me but my heart can not let go. I need to be free of this so I. Can move forward.

    Reply
  21. Denise

    It is so true what liam stated. I had a similar situation. This man whom i fell inlove with was 14 yrs my senior and he hurt me very much wthout any regards to my feelings. i fell so hard for him that it made my job very difficult to wrk at because he was there also i eventually frm emotional stress had to realese my job and i eventually lost my apartmaent and spiraled into homelessness. Now i thaught this man loved me and would atleast have a heart even sympathy or empathy to be there like he promised but he wasnt. I was nothing to him he only wanted sex from me and when i fell i love and needed him the most he ran away. It took me a while to realize the positive aspect of this all he was complete middle aged man child who had no use for real women it scared him. He didnt like to talk to me i was to intelligent for him. I understand now that i outgrew this person and i am a wonderful being who has so much to offer and i should never llimit myself to men like him who are scared and to imature to be in relationships. He also thaught since i was younger things would been easier but little did he know my wisdon flows far beyond my physical age which is 23. Well after months of healing and growing this man called me and i told him off for the first time now im ready to open myself up to true and honest love because i now know my self worth I deserve best love:)

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  22. betty carr

    i would like to know why a 54yr old man who has a fine young woman; will not commit.
    i’ve been with this man three years, have a two yr old daughter with him but he won’t move in with us or if i mention marriage hye always says “oneday” i am 35, very educated, dependable, independant and have my own things in life, e.g car, home, money, etc. can you give me your imput?

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  23. Fiona x5178

    Agnes, you deserve better. Liam is ABSOLUTELY right. To be with the kind of man you really want, go to where that kind of man is going to be. Take a class, go hiking, join a discussion group, attend an art opening, become a volunteer at a local theater group, etc.
    Remember, it is the law of the universe–what ever you are looking for is also looking for you!
    COWARDS BEGONE!!

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  24. c

    Thanks for publishing this, I’m in a similar siuation, and it’s exactly as Liam wrote. I am however, lucky enough to have stopped seeing the guy involved. Be Strong!

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  25. margie

    Agnes, Liam is so right. Don’t waste your time. I’ve fallen victim to this situation, however, my guy wanted out with the hope that he could have both his wife and me. When his wife through him out, he pursued me resulting in my being asked to leave a domestic-partnered relationship. I have some love left for this man, but he’s just a bad little boy, who has 3 adult children that have treated me like a second-class citizen for the past 8 years. It’s an ongoing battle with the troublesome ex-wife, who has since remarried, but loves to cause trouble.

    Stay way from this, it will lead only to heartache. I’ll never be the same person after what I walked into. This was certainly a lesson to be learned.

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  26. Amy Swanderski

    Liam,

    You are awesome and so correct. There are so many men with “mommy issues” out there. They haven’t crossed over to adulthood yet for one reason or another. I am finding it more and more common in our society today, and am curious what you, or others think the cause might be. Is it that with the pendulum swinging so far over into “women power” that the majority of 30-40 somethings generation of men are lost? Have they lost the true understanding of what it means to be a champion husband, father, man in our society because of it? It makes me shutter, comments? anyone.

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  27. oraann

    Yey Liam I really love your way of getting right down the absolute truth and point of things.. Oh what a great guy you are for being straightforward on the pitfalls of love and sex.

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  28. Shocked

    I am surprised to see you tell the other woman that she is a warm and loving person. She is having an affair with a married man, breaking up a home means nothing to her. That does not make her a loving person in my eyes. Stupid maybe for being his lies.

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  29. Jacob

    Why so many judgements before talk to each other?
    What hase to be done to get to the point where there is no more run away possibility and talk?

    How come you married your husband if there is no trust?

    Why you neglected spiritual work and mutual activities in your partnership?

    The world is in crisis, so many instabilities don-t you think that we all in our daily relationships we
    add our contribution to the world stability with current partnerships. To inject soul mate-s energy in the
    relationship. But if the love is so cheap it is not worth to work for it and ….
    It is very statistical possible that if this obstacles will not be processed and deeply worked on that
    in the next relationship would same circumstance appear on both party’s side.

    Reply
  30. tanith

    yeah guys i fully agree a similar situation happened to me although he wasnt married , he was a single guy divorced quite a few yrs we had a wonderful 2yrs and a very deep intense relationship we even made plans n agreed i get another place as neighbours around us werent good. so i did i got a beautiful house in nice area. he visited often. then lo n behold just suddenly disappeared without a word without any explanation whatsoever , that was 5yrs ago now ive heard hes changed his identity n havent a clue why because ive made no move no attempt to do any searching as not made that way i chase no man . never needed to. so its obvious hes running from something else and worst of all it was on our anniversary i last saw him so the impact his disappearing had on me was devestating. that to me shows the biggest coward of all as i absolutely worshipped him and he knew that. i never moved on from that not able to ever trust any man again as trusted him implicitely but he walked away n my whole world fell apart n he broke my heart so bad it wont ever be whole again

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  31. Felurian

    Bravo, Liam! Listen to him ladies, he is right on the money. And men — if you fit the description, well, be ashamed of yourselves and take a long honest look at yourself and see if you can’t manage to start on the path to becoming a man.

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  32. Lynne

    I always enjoy Liam’s responses, so honest, so Dragnet! The facts are the facts why torture yourself when you can just say “Cut, it’s a wrap.”

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  33. Emma Jamieson

    I am astounded at your response to Agnes. Agnes has no respect for herself let alone other women. She has no respect for the sanctity of marriage or the relationship between two people. She has no values in terms of family and you tell her she is a very warm and loving woman. A very warm and loving woman does not enter into relationships with a married man that could lead to the destruction of a family unit – A very warm and caring woman is not deceitful and untrustworthy. Agnes needs to learn to love and respect herself. She needs to reach a place where she understands she deserves more than a man who is so deceitful, selfish, untrustworthy and self centred. He is such a low calibre of man – why sink to such a level. There is a reason there are old sayings e.g. You are the company you keep. He isn’t a coward – he is a man devoid of conscience and decency.

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  34. Mary Lou

    I totally agree with Liam! It so often feel as if you are to be their perfect fantasy and when “you” don’t live up to the dream it is goodbye. Women seem to become emotionally attached and then are shattered when the white knight is just a peasant running away from them.

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  35. Lorraine

    Such a great lesson. “Don’t waste your time on cowards”. I need to repeat that over and over. Thank you for that.

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  36. Sargeant Pepper

    Liam, that was wonderful! Bravo. I extricated myself from a man with just such an m.o. recently and it is very liberating to see this viewpoint coming from a ‘man’ …cuz it’s sooo true and none of these little boys will actually ever admit to it. Thank you in part for validating my suspicions and also for giving this poor woman the closure she probably well needs and so deserves.
    It’s been my experience with a bit of online dating exposure and experience that a lot of the people on the sites are just looking for the ‘idea’ of what they think the person should be, but when confronted with the ‘reality’ of who they actually are, they run away.
    At the first sign of an ‘actual’ real human being behind the ‘perfectly posed and chosen’ photos we all put up of ourselves, many freak out. It’s a sad commentary on how our society has evolved – how we all want ‘instant’ and ‘perfect’ gratification from a bunch of others, who like us, simply are NOT perfect and no good relationship is ‘instant’.
    As for cheater boy, he’s nevr going to learn because as long as he has a wife who remains
    blind to his cheatin’ ways (it’s a co-dependency, guaranteed), he’s got no reason to reflect or change…

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  37. SMcd

    I find this fascinating. I am in a similar position, but the man I took as a lover got thrown out by his wife (not my fault, he had been seen in photographs being intimate with another woman by his daughter!). I have been there supporting him through his break up, now I feel like I’m his wife! He comes and goes as he pleases and I’m left wondering what he’s up to. I know once upon a time I was the girl who he spent the odd hour with here and there, and now, I’m left wondering if he’s doing the same with someone else. He’s secretive on the computer and when I’ve confronted him on his behaviour he just flies off the deep end, storms out and leaves me feeling worried and hurt and feeling like I’ve hurt him! I am deeply considering putting distance between me and this man, as I feel like he will only find someone else anyway, if he hasn’t already! I’ve replaced his wife! Its been hard coming to this conclusion, but I worry that he can’t commit to anything.

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  38. Marie

    I totally agree with the comment as i was myself in a pretty much similar situation.This guy is not emotionally intelligent.His life is comfortable and he is not willing to change it .Sex is an animal need for some men.They just need to have it off.!!Till the wife founds out!You are in lust not in love!
    Get your self esteem right high girl!!!And cherish your self first!

    Reply

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