Cathy in Beaumont asks:
I’m thirty-two years old and this might sound odd, but I’ve accomplished everything I ever wanted in life. This includes a career, to having a husband, to having the house of my dreams, and so on. Even though I have everything that were dreams at one point in my life, I’m still missing something. I keep thinking that it’s children. I think I do want them. However, when I actually think about kids, I don’t believe that I am capable of the responsibility that comes with them. I love my husband very much. He is the best man I have ever known. He loves me for who I am, and everything about me. He’s fine with whatever happens in the baby department attitude.
We got married when I was twenty-nine, and the following year I turned thirty. It’s been a very long and unfulfilling journey. I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore, or what I want in life. I was always a strong minded and driven person, and now I feel like I have no ambition to tackle anything that I set my mind on anymore. I’d love to start my own business, but with the economy the way it is, it would be suicide. I don’t think I want to take on the responsibility. I feel exhausted just thinking about the work involved. I’m at a loss as to what to do with my life, and what it is that I should be doing.
Psychic Red ext. 9226 Responds:
Strange as it may sound, feeling like something is missing after accomplishing your goals and fulfilling your dreams is rather normal, especially with your strong and progressive nature. Not knowing what to strive for is a bit contrary to your nature. While many people might look at you and your life with envy, and you seem to sometimes feel guilty about how you’re feeling, the truth is that you’ve entered into a comfortable, but static, period. Things have become fairly routine for you, and that stable routine essentially quenches some of your inner fire.
I know you love your husband very much, but being married has tamed some of your passion and creativity. While your marriage is strong, your relationship with your husband is also shadowed by routine. You’re both passionate people, and have created a nice stable life together, but you may want to look at shaking up that routine a bit. You have a great relationship, but you guys aren’t planning and dreaming the way you once did. I’m not talking about children; I’m talking about life in general. While he certainly can be your rock of stability, he also can be the match that sparks your flaming passion for life again. Plan an exotic trip, take ballroom dance lessons, create a new tradition – just do something out of the ordinary. Reconnecting with your husband on different and deeper levels will protect what you have, enhance your relationship, and help you to rediscover who you are while you figure out what comes next.
As far as children go, you will make an excellent mom. While you may struggle with trying to figure out when and if you want to take on that challenge and responsibility, it seems as if it’s a part of your life path more so than your life plan. Once the shock of discovering that you are pregnant wears off, both you and your husband will be thrilled and looking forward to meeting this being that was created solely out of love. Don’t worry – you have almost two years to get used to the idea. Just know that family life agrees with you so much that your second child will be planned.
Launching a business is never easy, and the current economic situation certainly makes it twice as scary, but your belief that you can’t succeed pretty much ensures failure. However, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be thinking about it and laying your plans for when you can see blooming success rather than looming failure. When the right idea comes, you’ll know it. You’ll even be able to launch your business on a part-time level, testing the waters, before you decide to go “all in” and quit your job.
The bottom line is, even though it feels as if something is missing, you have just been in a more stagnant chapter of your life. Make the most of this quieter time by turning your focus inward, because it really is a period of rejuvenation. Over the next two years, you will know who you are, figure out who you want to be, and once again be setting and achieving goals. Stagnation will turn to productivity, and you will once again feel fulfilled and happy.