Top Ten Dating Myths

Dating and the human brain offer such a complex array of idiosyncrasies that it’s sometimes difficult to distinguish truth from myth. Thankfully, we always have research to turn to when trying to solve the complex puzzle of the human brain. Let’s look at the top ten dating myths that have been (at least somewhat) debunked by science.

Myth 1: Bedroom Talk

There’s a lot of talk about lying in relationships, and many relationship experts claim that one of the best places to quietly discuss matters with a new lover is in the privacy of one’s bedroom. What research has found, however, is that the bedroom is actually where the greatest number of lies are told. If you want to find out what somebody is really thinking, studies show that talking around the breakfast table is the closest you’ll ever come to a truth serum.

Myth 2: Girls Are Crazy About Sensitive Men

There is a movement suggesting that what really drives women crazy is sensitive men. While women may believe that sensitive men are great, studies show that what initially catches their eye is rugged, masculine looks (square jaw, large nose, etc.) and a carefree attitude. The only time a sensitive guy (small chin, raised eyebrows, caring) might have the upper hand is when a woman is looking for a marriage partner – but too much sensitivity (being a pushover, indecisiveness) can count against him.

Myth 3: No Such Thing as Being Too Picky

If you don’t mind the possibility of keeping your own company for the duration of your life, then this may indeed be true. Otherwise, you are living in the popular myth that there is a perfect person out there for each of us. There is a very fine line between being picky and compromising the reality of your relationships. Popular research suggests that we can be perfectly happy with only 80 percent of our needs met.

Myth 4: Doesn’t Matter What They Say, I’m the Only One Who Knows

When we are newly in love or infatuation, our brains are usually so clouded with morphine-like chemicals that it’s hard to see any bad in the world, much less the bad in our new love. Usually, the people who can see the situation clearly are our friends and family, so while you may think you know better than they do, it is certainly at least worth listening to their concerns.

Myth 5: Living Together Irons Out the Wrinkles

It’s common belief that living together prior to marriage helps couples iron out the small wrinkles of joint living, but what research has found is that it actually increases your chances of divorce. Couples who choose to live together are, one, slightly hesitant about the union, and two, comfortable in the fact that if it doesn’t work out they can move on. This is the wrong mindset for a long and happy marriage.

Myth 6: Third Time’s the Charm

A lot of multiple-divorce couples like to chant “Third time’s the charm” when getting married for their third, and hopefully last, time. They feel comforted by this phrase, as does their partner in cahoots. The truth of the matter is, however, that a second marriage has a 60 to 67 percent chance of failure, while a third marriage has a dismal 73 to 75 percent chance. Don’t kid yourself.

Myth 7: Pickup Lines Never Work

Research shows that humorous and complimentary pickup lines work on some men and women if delivered with honesty, creativity and sincerity.

Myth 8: Impossible to Love Two People At Once

If an individual falls for two people who possess two very opposing, yet complimentary personalities, together they may add up to the ultimate partner. This is why it’s easier than some people think to fall in love with two people.

Myth 9: All Men are Cheaters

There is research out there stating that men are the bigger cheaters, and that it is also easy to find research pointing to men and women as cheating fairly equally, as well as evidence concluding that women are the bigger cheaters. If there is anything we can conclude from this, it’s that it is the person who cheats, and not the gender, so we should look at the individual and the signs they give (male or female) in order to decipher their potential as a mate.

Myth 10: Cold Shower

Some people believe that after a particularly heated date that ends without a bang, it’s a good idea to relieve any pent up, lingering sexual energy by taking a cold shower. What research has found, however, is cold showers actually stimulate the production of hormones and sexual desire, thereby producing the opposite effect of what one would hope.

What do you think the top dating myths that need debunking are?

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5 thoughts on “Top Ten Dating Myths

  1. nazia

    Well said, Eric!

    In my opinion we spend too much time trying to analyze relationships, especially love relationships, instead of just loving. Simply.

    I read somewhere -” We waste too much time trying to find a perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.” – How true!
    People are not perfect. As human beings, we never can be. But love can be perfect. And marriage is overrated.
    I believe. I have yet to see a marriage that would make me feel envious and covet it once again.

    I agree with myth number 8- It is possible to fall in love with two people at the same time and the reasons are perfectly essayed already in this article.

    Thanks !

    Nazia Mallick

  2. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Dear Tray,
    I would probably agree with you…..

    I posted what I did to combat the myth that men, in general, were stereo-typed as always being ” the cheater ” and not trustworthy.

    I actually do read for more women who cheat than men. And I’m not being judgemental in any way, I’m just stating a fact.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

  3. tray

    FWIW …. I disagree with myth #9. While it’s perennially arguable that cheating is gender-specific I’ve been a single man a very long time and have had a whole lot of married women come on to me. I’ve also observed it a lot. I’ve also had them lie about being married too (that isn’t just something that married men do). Ponit: I think that there are a lot of married women who cheat but might not admit it in surveys or polls.

    In fact, a previous article here mentioned women thinking that it was their prerogative to cheat if their needs weren’t met by their husbands. And let’s be real …. how many women actually think all of their needs are met by their hubbies? I’m not neccesarily saying that women cheat more than men, but I am saying that the reality is they cheat more than most would tend to think.

  4. diadriel

    Thanks for the article! It just goes to show, as Gina says, each of us are individuals – gender isn’t definitive of behavior. What I would add is this one ” Just because your semi-psychological ‘chemistry’ results are similar, doesn’t mean it will be a romantic fit or success”. Relationships are lessons, no matter what type of relationships they are, there is something we should/are learning. Spirit will decide if ‘outside the box’ is what is needed, and no chemistry result will stop it.

  5. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Hi Eric…..

    I agree 500% with # 9……..I agree that it is the person who cheats not the gender……from where I sit I see cheating equally in both genders.

    #8 I agree with too… IS very possible to be in love with two people at the same time. I read on it all the time.

    Please keep the articles coming Eric…. I always look for them first thing every morning.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500


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