Dating and the human brain offer such a complex array of idiosyncrasies that it’s sometimes difficult to distinguish truth from myth. Thankfully, we always have research to turn to when trying to solve the complex puzzle of the human brain. Let’s look at the top ten dating myths that have been (at least somewhat) debunked by science.
Myth 1: Bedroom Talk
There’s a lot of talk about lying in relationships, and many relationship experts claim that one of the best places to quietly discuss matters with a new lover is in the privacy of one’s bedroom. What research has found, however, is that the bedroom is actually where the greatest number of lies are told. If you want to find out what somebody is really thinking, studies show that talking around the breakfast table is the closest you’ll ever come to a truth serum.
Myth 2: Girls Are Crazy About Sensitive Men
There is a movement suggesting that what really drives women crazy is sensitive men. While women may believe that sensitive men are great, studies show that what initially catches their eye is rugged, masculine looks (square jaw, large nose, etc.) and a carefree attitude. The only time a sensitive guy (small chin, raised eyebrows, caring) might have the upper hand is when a woman is looking for a marriage partner – but too much sensitivity (being a pushover, indecisiveness) can count against him.
Myth 3: No Such Thing as Being Too Picky
If you don’t mind the possibility of keeping your own company for the duration of your life, then this may indeed be true. Otherwise, you are living in the popular myth that there is a perfect person out there for each of us. There is a very fine line between being picky and compromising the reality of your relationships. Popular research suggests that we can be perfectly happy with only 80 percent of our needs met.
Myth 4: Doesn’t Matter What They Say, I’m the Only One Who Knows
When we are newly in love or infatuation, our brains are usually so clouded with morphine-like chemicals that it’s hard to see any bad in the world, much less the bad in our new love. Usually, the people who can see the situation clearly are our friends and family, so while you may think you know better than they do, it is certainly at least worth listening to their concerns.
Myth 5: Living Together Irons Out the Wrinkles
It’s common belief that living together prior to marriage helps couples iron out the small wrinkles of joint living, but what research has found is that it actually increases your chances of divorce. Couples who choose to live together are, one, slightly hesitant about the union, and two, comfortable in the fact that if it doesn’t work out they can move on. This is the wrong mindset for a long and happy marriage.
Myth 6: Third Time’s the Charm
A lot of multiple-divorce couples like to chant “Third time’s the charm” when getting married for their third, and hopefully last, time. They feel comforted by this phrase, as does their partner in cahoots. The truth of the matter is, however, that a second marriage has a 60 to 67 percent chance of failure, while a third marriage has a dismal 73 to 75 percent chance. Don’t kid yourself.
Myth 7: Pickup Lines Never Work
Research shows that humorous and complimentary pickup lines work on some men and women if delivered with honesty, creativity and sincerity.
Myth 8: Impossible to Love Two People At Once
If an individual falls for two people who possess two very opposing, yet complimentary personalities, together they may add up to the ultimate partner. This is why it’s easier than some people think to fall in love with two people.
Myth 9: All Men are Cheaters
There is research out there stating that men are the bigger cheaters, and that it is also easy to find research pointing to men and women as cheating fairly equally, as well as evidence concluding that women are the bigger cheaters. If there is anything we can conclude from this, it’s that it is the person who cheats, and not the gender, so we should look at the individual and the signs they give (male or female) in order to decipher their potential as a mate.
Myth 10: Cold Shower
Some people believe that after a particularly heated date that ends without a bang, it’s a good idea to relieve any pent up, lingering sexual energy by taking a cold shower. What research has found, however, is cold showers actually stimulate the production of hormones and sexual desire, thereby producing the opposite effect of what one would hope.
What do you think the top dating myths that need debunking are?