Red Responds: You’re the One Before the One

In many instances the one you think got away is really only leading you to the one you are really meant to be with. It is like a stepping stone to get to an even better place. There are even cases that the one who got away is getting you out of something that you were not happy with either as you will see from Sonya.

Getting Over the One That Got Away

Sonya from Mansfield asks:

My best friend of three years and I became more a year ago. He called me his girlfriend and didn’t want me to see anyone but him. I was married during the time we met and when I fell in love with him, and when he said that he loved me and wanted a life with me, I filed for divorce so we could be together. Right before the divorce was final, we got in an argument and broke up. Within three weeks, he asked someone else to marry him. Did he never have any intentions with me or ever love me? Get more personalized advice, contact a psychic today!

Dear Sonya,

Please don’t think that this man never loved you, because he did. He loved you very much. But as your lives progressed and your relationship changed, so did the way the two of you connected as a couple. There’s nothing better than when your lover is your best friend. However, starting out that way doesn’t guarantee that everything is going to end up in bliss. While I hate to say it, I’m seeing a bunch of miscommunications showing up in the last four or five months of your relationship that helped bring it to it’s demise.

Your ex-fianceé was questioning a lot of things, like was he just an easy answer or out for you? Why weren’t you showing him the same love and joy that you once did? Would you come to a place where you regretted your decisions, and hold him responsible? These are some pretty heavy questions. Questions he partly failed to ask, and you partly failed to answer. As the stresses and tensions built up, the two of you drifted apart, and the love that you once shared turned into something else.

I know this isn’t the happy outcome you were hoping for. I’ll even go as far as to say that it’s not fair, because I’m seeing a very unbalanced ending. It’s really sad because you can’t rewind, nor can you do a darned thing about it. Romantically, it’s over. Hard as it may be to understand or accept, do the best you can to put it behind you. You’re probably never going to understand all the whys and details, so stop trying. That kind of circular thinking only helps to hold you still. Let it go. Let him go.

On the bright side (and there tends to be one even when it doesn’t feel that way) your ex-fianceé actually did you a favor. He gave you everything you needed to free yourself from your marriage, so that you can have the happiness and husband you deserve. If you hadn’t fallen for him, you’d still be trying to figure out how to maintain a relationship that ceased serving you. Now, even though things are tougher and more confusing than ever, you are going to learn exactly who you are, and what your purpose is. You weren’t meant to go from the shelter of one marriage to another. While you will be married again, it will be because it’s right, and you’re with the right guy. It’s going to take some time, though, and you need to do your best to accept that. You’re still healing, you haven’t met the right one yet, and you have work to do. You have to work on you. I’m not going to say things aren’t going to suck for a while, because they will. But you will get through it, and the rewards will come. You’re in the midst of learning a lesson we all experience at some point—that everything does happen for a reason. Your world is supposed to be bigger. As you grow, so do your surroundings, your impact and your power. When you are at your best, you draw the best to you. So strive.

I know you aren’t a mean-spirited person, but it’s very human to feel the urge to smile when your exes fully realize what they lost. The time will come when they feel that smidgeon of jealousy of the life and happiness you achieve without them. You will have that moment, and you will quietly enjoy it, but without malice, because you will have grown. That’s a good thing! Be the best you can be, Sonya, because the only thing you’ve lost is being held back by those you’ve loved, which really isn’t a loss all.

Brightest Blessings,


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One thought on “Red Responds: You’re the One Before the One

  1. heather

    Fear in itself can stop you from doing what you want i learned from 2 abusive exes which cost me everything including my 3 kids.i learned a valuable lesson if you’re being abused you’re the only one who can stop it.Leave! i left too late.

    well my fiancee and i aren’t communicating that
    well anymore his parents bought us a house for christmas it’s a blessing in disguise. Will we ever get married or stay in the same rut that we are in?Does he love me or in love with the idea of love?


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