A reader hasn’t had a boyfriend in six years and feels like she can’t connect with anyone. She wonders if she should give up on her search for Prince Charming, her Mr. Right.
It’s Like Waiting to Exhale
Sarah from Kamloops, British Columbia asks:
I have not had a boyfriend in six years. I can’t seem to connect with anyone. There was one guy I was attracted to and I felt that he felt the same way about me. But he just never asked me out. When will I meet someone special or am I meant to walk this life alone? I am a single mother and 48 years old, but everyone says I look early 30s and I have done well for myself. But I’m giving up on meeting someone. I spent all this time working on myself and growing as a person, so when will this alone time end?
Psychic Red ext. 9226 Responds:
Please forgive me, for I am about to tell you some things that you may not wish to hear…
First of all, if you give up on meeting someone, you will choose to spend more and more of your time away from the public eye, and that will make your chances of finding a viable romance even more difficult. I’m not proposing that you go out looking for love, but I don’t want the visions of you becoming more and more reclusive turning into a reality.
Secondly, stop looking at all the time you’ve spent alone as some kind of punishment. It’s not. Sure, it doesn’t fit in with the fantasies and fairytales, but sometimes it is better to be alone than stuck settling for the wrong mate because you think that’s the best you can get. You haven’t been punished; you’ve been protected.
Third, I am going to hand you the no-frills version of a very common, yet ugly, truth—your soulmate isn’t going to show up on your doorstep. I’m not even positive that you are going to cross paths with your true soulmate in this life, but that does not mean that I see you going through life without love. Quite the opposite, really. Very often, the one we’re meant to be with isn’t our soulmate. Trust me when I say soulmate relationships aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. Consider this bit of flatline information as a blessing in disguise.
Life has not been easy for you, especially in the realm of love. Unfortunately, I don’t have some magical cure for that. It is what it is. I also lack the ability to speed up time, so the best I can do is offer you some guidance so you can prepare yourself for the future.
Your next boyfriend is not the man you will make a life with, but is the man who will teach you how to live life more fully. Apparently, this is a lesson you need to learn, because you seem to get a little too wrapped up in right/wrong, responsible/irresponsible, and it is impeding and shaping your ability to cut loose and have fun. You can’t not have fun with this guy. He’s just an amazing person, and will be sent to you sometime in the winter months of next year. While this will develop into a fairly stable relationship, it is not one that will carry you through to the end of your days. You will enjoy him, learn from him, even love him to a degree, but you will also know that he isn’t “the one,” as you can’t quite see yourself growing old with him.
Not every relationship is meant to last, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t serve a purpose or have a benefit. The two of you will be together for somewhere around two years, and then you will part ways. While it isn’t going to be the easiest parting, it does make sense to you, so it is far from an excruciatingly painful parting. What will make sense to you, when the time comes, is that there is nothing here to fear. You will just be letting go of the man who lightened your soul and taught you about loving—something that benefits you tremendously as your search for true love continues.
The Good News: The next guy is your guy. In so many ways, he is the male version of you. You are free to simply be yourself: no games, no fuss and no judgments. You may not believe in love at first sight, but he will after he lays his eyes on you. By definition, he is not your soulmate. By feeling and everything that actually matters in a relationship—he is.
You aren’t going to make things easy for this man. You will throw every road block and guard you are capable of dreaming up his way, in hopes of preserving yourself and your jaded views when it comes to love. But, like a true Taurus (I’m not sure if that’s his Sun-Sign or Rising Sign) he’ll keep coming back for more. He does this in a strong “I-have-to-win-her-heart” manner, not a psycho manner. He’s a well grounded, down-to-Earth personality who recognizes things in you that no one else has ever even taken the time to look at. Not only will this man sweep you off your feet, but he’ll also put a ring on your finger to anchor you to him. This is going to be a love like none that you’ve ever experienced before, and a man who will exceed your expectations every single time.
I really do wish I could speed things along for you and direct you to the happiness you long for but no longer have faith in now. But, I can’t. Ultimately, I’d have to say that’s a good thing. Things will come together for you as they are meant to be. The processes and ups and downs you will continue to go through only add truth and value to the happiness you ultimately find.
Hang in there, my friend. While your struggles are great, your rewards are greater. To coin a phrase “The best is yet to come!”
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