Amanda from Edinburg, VA asks:
I’ve been with my fiance for over four years. Recently we started fighting, and we decided to take a break for a week or two. It’s been all most three weeks now, and he barely texts/calls me. He won’t come and see me. He says he needs his space. Should I give him his space and then try to talk to him? Or should I find someone else?
Psychic Red ext. 9226 Responds:
Your relationship has hit a pretty significant bump in the road. What makes things a lot more challenging is the fact that you are the only one who is feeling the pain and feeling insecure.
One of the problems that is showing up during what is supposed to be a time of separation and space is that you are still pretty present in his world. While you don’t know where he’s at, what he’s going to do, or what is going to happen next—he has all the confidence in the world that he still has you.
Your relationship is in trouble. It has been for a while. The two of you stopped paying attention to each other, and just got wrapped up in the fact that you were a couple. Even the passion began to fade. It’s one of the pitfalls of allowing a relationship to slip into a routine.
Your fiance hasn’t done anything yet, but there is another female who caught his eye. And even though things haven’t gotten physical, he has a need to examine everything, to try and understand why.
The best thing you can do is to focus on yourself. Push the urges to be in touch with him as far away as possible. Let him marinate in his curiosity, which will be brought on by your silence. Don’t call, don’t text, and don’t try and make arrangements to spend time with him. Just live your life and have fun, including getting back in touch with and hanging out with your friends.
It’s going to take some time as both of you really need to get in touch with how you feel—about yourselves, as well as each other. You have a viable and savable relationship, but each of you really needs to understand that you’ve grown, some life has happened, and you’ve changed.
By laying low and getting back in touch with yourself, you will find that your fiance isn’t your only option, even though he still presents as the best option. Things are going to take a lot longer than either of you had planned to get to the place of reunion and reconciliation, but it will happen sometime around the turn of the year.
Sometimes it is only when you have the opportunity and freedom to explore everything you think you want, that you realize you had what you wanted all along. This is what your fiance is going to figure out. When he does, he’ll appreciate you more, and your relationship will once again become exciting and strong.
I hope this helps you.
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