Red Responds: How to Trust Your Gut

Trusting our gut is something that most of us battle with. While it is complicated enough in some cases to do what you think you should do then you throw in the right and wrong scenario and things can get harder. Lets see what Psychic Red says to do in this situation.

What is Your Gut Telling You?

Shay from Olin, NC asks:

How do you know when to trust your gut? I married really young and my marriage has had many problems. I have been hurt a lot and seem to hold on to the hurt, and I can’t move forward to forgive anymore. I met someone over a year ago and I felt such a strong connection with him and we really got close. Due to a lot of problems on his end, he has backed off but still tells me he loves me and wants to be together again. I’m at a crossroads and I feel like I need to let go of my marriage; that it won’t last. And as far as this other relationship goes, no matter how hard I try to let it go, it’s like my heart won’t let me. I really love him. I feel like my heart is telling me to hang on for him, and even if I stayed in my marriage, I couldn’t love my husband the way I used too. Please tell me how to trust my feelings and where this is going? Get personalized advice, contact a psychic today!

Psychic Red ext. 9226 Responds:

Dear Shay,

It can be hard to truly trust your gut at times, because you first need to learn how to really listen to it! In order to more fully understand what your gut is trying to tell you, you must first learn to quiet your mind. Instincts and logic aren’t always saying the same thing at the same time. This can create more than a bit of confusion, and in your case, a whole lot of anxiety.

If we’re going to be honest with each other here, we have to go back to your decision to get married. Yes, you wanted to be married. You wanted the married lifestyle. You wanted that support and independence. Basically, you wanted to change your circumstances, and marriage provided a fairly clean and easy answer. But your gut would get a little cold and tight when you really thought about “forever.” So, you shoved that aside and went with the logic that you can make it work. Sometimes your head is still telling you that. Your gut seems to have a different opinion, and your head tends to agree that you probably married the wrong guy, with a few wrong reasons attached.

Here’s where it gets scary: Your gut is nagging you about being with the wrong fellow, but it’s also telling you that ending the marriage isn’t going to fix everything. Your other fellow doesn’t have a white steed parked in the garage, saddled up, waiting to gallop in and rescue you. Your gut is correct.

I am not going to make light of or undermine the connection you have with this other fellow. I am going to tell you that he isn’t your immediate solution, either. There’s worlds of potential there, but it is potential that is not at a place where things are going to manifest—whether or not you choose to stay married. Your gut knows that you aren’t going to have the life, love, and marriage you desire with your current husband. More often than not, your head tends to agree, so this does make things a little easier. It gives you a sense of direction. But, your gut has also been telling you that the time has come, or is coming, where you need to stand on your own two feet. You and your head don’t really seem to be too fond of this idea. I don’t blame you; it’s scary. It’s also complicated by a lot of chaos and a bit of fighting that you’d rather avoid.

Your gut will ultimately guide you on how to accomplish all the finer details of a life change, because it’s going to keep nagging about the bigger picture, and eventually your head will agree. Think of it as a natural progression. But, these are huge life issues, and ones that aren’t going anywhere anytime soon.

Rather than plunge in with both feet and no safety net, work with your gut and learn to trust it on smaller issues and decisions. Remember, your gut’s job is to guide you along the path of what is best for you. Start checking in with it on little things so that the ability to fully trust it can grow. Broccoli or asparagus with dinner? Your gut might let you know your body needs asparagus, and hubby won’t be happy. Understand that you can follow your gut and go one way, or follow your head and go the other. But, pay attention! Really look at how and why you made your choices, and really look at how those decisions impacted you and made YOU feel, as an individual. This is about you and your well-being, more than it is about the impact of hubby and his attitude. Smaller decisions such as that example will help you to learn and understand the language of your gut. Think of it as an invisible muscle. The more you exercise it, the stronger it becomes. And, as you discover that even though there may be times of unpleasant consequence, YOU are doing better, feeling stronger and you’re likely to become less anxious and more grounded. The trust between you and your gut will grow, and that relationship will help you tremendously in knowing what to do and when, for your greatest good.

I hope this helps.

Brightest Blessings,


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5 thoughts on “Red Responds: How to Trust Your Gut

  1. Fran

    Speaking of a “gut reaction”, I had an awful one reading Red’s response to the discussion regarding this situation. I have a very heavy heart when someone, anyone, thinks of a marriage as simply another relationship in one’s journey in life. Unless the vows said something other than the traditional vows, such as “til we decide that one of us does not like the other any more” the marriage is until “due us part”. Marriage is not a relationship without restrictions. One of those restrictions is that one does not sleep with another outside of the marriage. That goes for both parties here. And believe you me. If she/he did ‘it” to the current partner, she/he will do “it” again…….. I mean cheat. That is what these people did. CHEAT on their respective spouses. Both of these people should, remake their original beds in respectively lie in them………. with their respective husband and wife. That is what the gut is saying… not this hoopla about “if it feels good do it !!! unless that is what the vow(s) that were taken said. If not, they deserve each other and when it happens again…….. a whole lotta folks will be sayin’ “I told you so” including the “gut” and intuition and logic.

  2. Chinenye

    Red, this is a really wonderful advice & write up. Truly, this is how I have been able grow to make & still make good decisions about difficult issues & I’m afterwards that I always followed my gut when I look back & see d trouble it saved me from or the good it brought me.

  3. Robin Bednarczyk

    I don’t know whats going on with my instinct lately but EVERYTIME I trust it, ITS WRONG, it turns out to be the total opposite of what I was thinking IN THE FIRST PLACE. That could have something to do with the fact that I live in a home with a wicked amount of negative energy though. I just wish I knew how to get my intuition back! It use to be RIGHT ON EVERYTIME!

  4. marc from the uk

    Hello, I really can relate to Shay, I was in this predicament for many years, FEAR was my biggest obstacle, confusion was a plenty as gut and head did not always relate to eachother. The thought also of ensuring everyone else was ok and protected ( the kids) especially. I realised I was very very unhappy in my marriage, although everything about it was fantastic, the kids, the friends, family etc. My fear wa losing all this as I never had that in my lifetime prior to being married. However I just fell out of being in love with my wife who was on her own life path that was detrimental to my happiness and health both menatlly and spiritually. I met someone else and it was 90% of what I was looking for, but my GUT told me something was not right with this other person and it took years to find out things that scared the life out of me, hence the confusion and frustration. The whole point to my journey I think was neither of these people where the answer!!!!!! The answer was to learn this and be alone, however they were both meant to be in my life at the time and are part of my journey. I hope this makes sense to the lady in question, life may be telling you to change course completely, the lover is there to give you a reason to leave the marriage, a temporary vehicle? But reealise that when the dust settles you will understand and see clearly, this does not mean you will not still love the other people I am sure you will as that was the glue that moved you along, but NOTHING IS PERMANENT! Good luck x


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