If you attract nothing but jealous or cheating people, it’s time to deal with the issues of your past. Heal and get ready to trust yourself again.
Kris from Key West asks:
Your answers are so clear and accurate to the situations. I truly hope you will address my question. I, too, am faced with a cheating fiance, who projected on me with intense jealousy. Having a past of hurtful men, what is it about me that attracted this situation? I strive to be honest and honorable, yet fall in love with bad men. This one seemed so perfect, but my intuition was blasting me with unease… I hope you can give me some of your healing insight as my tendency is to go inward and beat up on myself for being so stupid.
Psychic Red ext. 9226 Responds:
You can go inward and beat yourself up all you want – but it’s only going to make things worse, not better. So, I strongly advise that you skip that step, and go straight to the place where you understand that it’s okay to trust yourself far more and deeper than any other man, woman, or child on the planet.
You’re not stupid, Kris. You’re a kind, loving, trusting, sympathetic person. Okay, so you’ve made some bad choices. Who hasn’t? But the more you punish yourself, and the more you feel on some deeper level that you deserve “less than,” you’re increasing your chances of making the same mistakes.
It’s hard to trust your intuition when it comes to your own life. (Trust me, I know…) You’re too close to every situation, and that makes you subjective, not objective. You look at warning signs in terms of “him” and “his issues or flaws,” and your nature compels you to forgive, accept, or overlook some things. So you keep the faith, keep the trust, and the merry-go-round keeps spinning…
Men and women are both predators and prey. We might not like to admit this, but it’s true. Unfortunately, it seems that the predominant predator personalities out there are really good at sizing up whom they can manipulate the most. The relationships you’ve experienced seem to share one very strong common denominator – all of your loves have been damaged, manipulative souls – and the pattern has weighted you a bit more on the “prey” side of things. Unfortunately, when the predators find you, your ability to recognize that you’re a good person encourages you to open the door and let them in. You honor love, loyalty, and the goodness that resides in every person, so you tend to disregard your intuition out of your desire of a great, loving partner.
I don’t want to get all Freudian, but some of the issues and hurts you experienced in childhood have influenced your ability to be clearly objective when it comes to matters of the heart. These are issues you can work through. When you do, you will find that your energy shifts and you will be drawing people to you who share a stronger emotional and moral base. You will also learn to recognize the difference between being attracted to the individual or the individual’s potential. You see a lot in people, which is a beautiful thing, but you haven’t quite learned how or when to be wary of those who have yet to grow into their potential.
If there is an up-side to all the bad things you’ve been through and experienced in your search for love, it’s this: Your soulmate is coming. So while you may want to look at things like there’s something that you’re doing wrong or that maybe you aren’t meant to have what seemingly comes easily to others, I wouldn’t advise it. All self-flagellation does is give you some kind of justification for brutalizing yourself for not having achieved perfection. Instead, try to recognize that fear and old pain have been your tour guides on your romantic journeys, and fire them.
You have a good life, relationship, and marriage ahead of you. True, you haven’t met the right guy yet, just some pretty crappy placeholders. Since you still have some time to kill before you meet your true mate, take the time to learn how to be gentle with yourself. A therapist or hypnotherapist, particularly, can help you to release the fear and pain you hold inside, as well as free you from some other concepts that really no longer serve you. Through your transformation, with or without help, you will see and trust people for who they are and what they’ve earned, not who they have the potential to be.
The sooner you learn to trust your gut, the better off and happier you will be. In the meantime, move forward in your life knowing that the suffering you’ve endured in your relationships will be balanced out by broad shouldered, intelligent, successful honey of a reward in 2014!
I do hope this helps you.
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