Red Responds: He Got His Ex Wife Pregnant

Tracy in Eastlake writes:

There is a man I was involved with, and while we were separated for a time he slept with his ex wife – she got pregnant! In the meantime, he and I were discussing a future together before she called him. He said she is pregnant and he went to the doctor with her… my question is, do I walk away and try to start over? I’ve spent my entire life looking for my soulmate and I thought I had found him when all this happened!

Dear Tracy,

There are many lower karmic ties between you and this man, which means that there are several challenges to be worked through and overcome. While the rewards of being with him may be great, it’s going to be difficult to avoid problems and heartache.

In all honesty, your boyfriend is torn between you two. While he isn’t in love with his ex, he still does care about her. Her pregnancy complicated things a bit for him, as well as for you. While he does honestly love you, he has concerns when it comes to “forever.” When you are getting along things are great, but when you aren’t… well, it can be rather volatile.

You need to really search your soul, and think about what it is you truly want in a relationship. The reality is, if you want him, you can have him – at least, for a while. There will be a bit of back-and-forth before things settle down, and that is going to be hard to handle. Plus, even though you were separated at the time, the knowledge that he slept with his ex-wife stings you as if it were a betrayal. These are some pretty big issues that will take you a while to overcome. You can do it, but it’s not going to be easy. The real problem is the off-and-on pattern that is developing between you two. That is what eventually will bring this relationship to an end.

When you do decide to throw in the towel, you are going to miss this man, but you will move on and eventually find true love. The “when” is eventual, but ultimately up to you. While this isn’t the man you will spend your life with, he does appear as the one you will continue to spend some time with. It’s sad, and painful, and something you already knew.

He may not be your soulmate, but he’s the closest you’ve come so far. When you do encounter your soulmate, you will know immediately. Until then, you need to decide if the good times outweigh the hassles of being with your current love, or opt for less stress – even though it means being alone for a time.

I’m really sorry.

Ext. 9266

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