Sue in Australia writes:
Five years ago I met a gorgeous man when he bought a business in my neighborhood. We have been close friends since then and actually got very close four years ago. I have such deep feelings for him and want more than just friendship. Now he has sold the business and in two weeks time he will be gone. I am in panic mode. Will I ever see him again and will something deeper develop? He sends mixed messages – he has been dating someone else for the last few years but there are still times when he looks at me or smiles and I know there’s still something there between us. He also wrote “love” in his Christmas card last year – he’s never done that before. Since the moment I first met him my heart has told me he is something special. Is he worth waiting for or is it time to move on?
I feel so bad. You have been patiently waiting and holding on to hope for so long, and I now have to burst your bubble when it comes to the romantic side of this relationship. However, the news isn’t all bad, since the friendship you share will remain intact.
It is going to be an adjustment for both of you, after your friend moves. Each of you has grown rather dependent on the other in a variety of little ways. The distance may keep you from seeing each other as regularly as each of you has become accustomed to, but you will still find the time and make the arrangements to see each other every now and again. I see you keeping in touch with each other via phone and email, and the communication will be fairly consistent and regular. Your friend will not forget about you, nor you him.
He does seem to have a deep love for you, but it is the love of friendship more so than romance. While he has thought about what it would be like for the two of you to venture into a romantic relationship, he will continue to honor the friendship rather than explore the romantic possibilities. Even though this is painful to hear, it doesn’t negate that he is someone special to you and your life; but it doesn’t appear as if things are going to develop into more.
Moving on is never easy, but there is little else you can do. In time, you can participate in this friendship without hurting, and your heart will lead you to someone new.