Red Responds: Questioning His Sexual Orientation

Greg in Long Beach writes:

After reading Markeilsha in Syracuse, I thought of my life situation which is somewhat similar. In my situation I’m still in a relationship with a woman but am in the process of meeting with a man who I have met on a gay personal website. This man is younger than me. I have always questioned my sexual orientation and am wondering if I meet with this man if it will lead to a serious relationship. Can you please give me advice as to if this would be worthwhile for me to follow.

Dear Greg,

While you most certainly can enjoy and explore the pleasures of relationships with both sexes, the truth is, you are on a bit of an evolutionary excursion.

Eventually, you are going to have to explore your sexuality. Even though the gentleman you are chatting with is younger than you, there is a connection there. It isn’t one that is going to last forever, but it is certainly worth exploring. You two actually have quite a bit in common, and his fun-loving but gentle nature seems to resonate well with you. Even though he has a healthy libido, and a playfully frisky side, he won’t push you out of your comfort zone, as he can be a patient and caring lover. Should you decide to start seeing him, it looks as if it would be a romantic, but short-term affair. For all of the comfort, chemistry, and lust – he presents as more of a friend and teacher than a long-term lover or life partner.

As I said, eventually you are going to have to explore your sexuality. This man is certainly an excellent choice with which to start that expedition, but if not him, there will be another. It is bound to get more confusing for you before it gets easier, because you aren’t quite sure how to handle your inner struggle, much less your existing relationship. I would suggest talking to a counselor or therapist to help you navigate through these issues, because a little support can be a very good thing. Not everyone around you is going to embrace you exploring your individuality, and a bit of therapy can help you navigate some of the more turbulent times and anxiety that you are going to experience.

While the first chapters of life may have you partnered with women, if you are true to yourself and go through the chaos to find happiness and peace, the last chapters have you in the arms of a loving man.

Brightest Blessings!
Ext. 9226

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