Red Responds: He Took Advantage of Her Friendship and Affection

Cate from Hadley writes:

For five years, I was in love with a man who took advantage of my friendship and affection for him. It took a long time for me to realize that although we cared about each other, and I learned so much from him, we were not meant to be together. After many months of struggling with this, I have finally accepted it, and actually feel like a weight has been lifted.

I live in an area where it is already difficult to meet people, and my unresolved feelings for this man made finding someone virtually impossible. I am ready to move on, in love and in life in general, but feel like I keep tripping as I try to run forward. I am so fortunate in so many ways, but I can’t help but feel a little frustrated.

My career has slowed down a little, I have many passions and interests, but feel like I’m stagnating a bit, travel plans are temporarily on hold, and the dating scene is … not promising. I’m frustrated … there are things I’d like to do, or things I’d like to make happen … and I’m just not sure what or how.

I would like to meet someone special and enjoy a caring, balanced relationship, and I feel like I am finally in a place where I am open and ready for it … but no one seems to be coming my way. It seems like even in the rare occasions that I meet someone, there are always obstacles … bad timing, no mutual attraction, complicating circumstances, etc. Are there any positive solutions or changes coming up for me? Is that elusive relationship out there somewhere? Am I just impatient? Thanks a lot for your help!

Dear Cate,

Life often runs in cycles, and some cycles must be endured. It’s almost as if the universe needs time to recalibrate her energies. During these times, we are given an unasked for, but needed, break. It tends to be frustrating, but more often than not, it is necessary.

Your career progress will pick up again in the summer months, and you can look forward to a trip or two during the spring. You may also have to travel a bit for business at the end of the summer or early fall. While this trip may be a bit unexpected, it will be surprisingly productive.

The next six or seven months seem to be directed toward you coming to a place of peace within you. I see you cleaning out your closets and fixing up your place, updating your wardrobe, and setting aside a little time each month to pamper yourself. It is as if you are using this time to ‘recreate’ you. I also see you exploring your spiritual side, and possibly taking a more creative-based class or two. While all of these little things may not seem all that important or exciting right now, when you look back, you will know that this time and process was a good for you.

As far as your romantic life goes, this arena is going to become a less vivid priority in your day-to-day world. Probably because you will be more focused and busy with everything else you want to do and accomplish. However, you will still be putting yourself out there hoping to meet someone with whom you connect, but the essence of disappointment and impatience is going to be leaving you. I see you randomly dating, and you will meet a few nice guys. It’s going to be a while before anyone really knocks you off of your feet.

Just when you think the big love is never going to happen, a new, young friend is going to put you in touch with his brother. There will initially be a bit of a logistical challenge, but you’ll work around it, and you won’t be ringing in the New Year alone. This relationship will blossom, and sometime next fall, the two of you will be looking for a new home.


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