Jenni in Cairo writes:
Four months ago my husband left me in Cairo and stole a lot of money from me. Fortunately, I had enough money to buy my own flat and invest enough to live on carefully. I am also teaching part-time now which helps me financially. We were married for 6 years and during this time I really loved him and considered him to be a good man.
He was loved and adored by everyone and as a Muslim, seemed to take his religion very seriously. Obviously I feel very hurt by finding out that he was really a con-man and am still very confused. I have since heard that he has remarried without my permission and is living in hiding somewhere. In some ways my life is much better now and I am beginning to love this country and the people, so much more than before. I have returned to being more spiritual as a person. I don’t really know what my questions are. Maybe, why did that happen to me, and why did I not see this coming? Any advice for moving on?
It is impossible to be prepared for or see every event that lies ahead in your own life. You didn’t do anything to provoke the events that have brought you to your current circumstance, nor is it some kind of karmic or Universal retribution. You simply loved and married a man who was very good at hiding what goes on in the corners of his mind. What started out genuinely as a loving marriage switched tracks somewhere along the line. Your husband saw an opportunity to profit and be free to go about his life without the drama and responsibility of ethics and accountability. I don’t think you would have seen it coming, even if you knew what to look for.
The best advice I can give you for moving on is to simply keep moving forward. You are never going to have the concrete explanations for why this happened to you. Furthermore, even if you had seen it coming, you wouldn’t have been able to prevent his leaving. Granted, you may have moved some funds around, but he still would have lightened your pocketbook on the way out the door. While this may not exactly be a light and fluffy viewpoint, allow yourself a few moments of satisfaction knowing that he is existing in hiding, wondering if the day will come where he must face you or justice. He has quite a lot of guilt that he has to live with and work through, while you are freely living your life, creating a peaceful and exciting existence, with a troubled heart but a clear conscience.
Don’t concern yourself with a man who betrayed not only you, but everything he represented. He must live and lurk in the shadows, but you can embrace life in the sunshine every day. You have an incredible and harmonious energy that will attract good things to you, including a new love that will last and encourage you to keep heading down the path you are on. In truth, your ex did you a favor. He freed you from the illusion of having a good life, and created the space for you to experience a great life – one you would not be open to if things had remained the same.
Sometimes, what appears to be a loss is really a gift… or a second chance. The next couple of months are going to be really good for you. You are finding your place in this world, and love and happiness are on their way. But the one thing that you are headed for that no man can provide and money can never buy, is inner peace and knowing that you are on the right path, living in harmony with your values and purpose in this world.