Red Responds: Huge Changes All at Once

Lisa in Gaithersburg writes:

At 43, my life has suddenly turned chaotic! I lost my job, my living situation changed suddenly, my only child just told me she was pregnant at 18, and my love life… well, I have been involved with a married man for a year now. Something I never dreamed I would partake in. What’s up with all these huge changes at once? Whew, I don’t know which direction to run now.

Dear Lisa,

Boy, you do have a lot going on! Looks like you are entering, albeit at a high rate of speed, a new cycle of life. Sometimes everything comes together, (or blows up) at once in order for us to get back on track. It certainly seems like that is the case with you!

Losing your paycheck is definitely a blow, but losing the job seems like a blessing in disguise. It was time. You weren’t happy there, anyway. I honestly think that you outgrew your position, and it is time to expand your professional goals to have personal meaning.

You seem to have multiple talents and interests that could provide you with a solid living, but I’m really not sure which way you are going to go. I do see you working within two months, but it is not necessarily a “career move.” It seems like you will take this job to hold you over, while you are working out your plans for a more independent path. By mid-summer of 2008, you will be leaving the 9-5 “real world job” and more or less working for yourself.

Looking at your daughter – she’s a pretty strong young woman. Even though the baby’s father is going to be in and out of the picture, she’ll manage.

Your love life is coming through as maintaining “status quo” for a while. Your man is going to remain married, but other than that technicality, the relationship seems like it is fairly workable for the time being. This arrangement can go on for as long as you’d like it to. While it may be okay for now, eventually you will break it off to seek out a man who is more available.

Even though your life is in chaos right now, all this chaos is clearing the way for you. It’s about opportunity. It is the answer to all of your prayers for a more free and less burdened life. You are coming into a phase of life that is, and is supposed to be, more about you.

Good luck to you!
Ext. 9226

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