Red Responds: Unfaithful Out of Spite

Margaret in Monroe writes:

I am 33 years old and pregnant with a man who is not faithful. I have dealt with it up to this point, but now I have become unfaithful myself (out of spite). Other than that, the relationship is not bad. I feel he will be a great father to our baby. But I want to know if he will ever come around and be faithful to me so that this relationship can go somewhere. Thanks.

Dear Margaret,

It is true that your man will be a pretty good father to your child, but a child is not going to make him the faithful partner you want him to be.

The two of you can get along well for the most part, but when things get a little too heavy, your guy finds comfort and release outside of the relationship. He can be faithful to you for stretches of time, but he will continue to struggle with fidelity.

The two of you do seem to care for one another, even have some love for each other, but that isn’t always enough. The fact that you cheated out of spite is a glowing testament to a more serious level of problems in this relationship.

Having a child does change everything, but seldom is a miracle cure for mending a troubled romance. The parental dynamic comes through as being great, but the romantic dynamic is going to fade. Eventually, in three years or so, the two of you will be co-parenting, but no longer a couple.

I’m sorry you are faced with so much stress during what should be a very happy time.

Do yourself a favor and find a counselor to talk to; to help you deal with some of the issues you are facing. Relationships come and relationships go – but you are a mom for life.

Brightest Blessings,
Ext. 9226

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