Red Responds: He Went Back to Puerto Rico

Heather in Spartanburg writes:

My boyfriend left two months ago to go back to Puerto Rico. He is trying to help his kids. Right now they are staying with their grandparents. He is trying to get them a house and a car so they will have their own place again. He said once he accomplished what he went there to do he would be coming home. He told me that it could take 6 months to a year. We were talking to each other every day since he left. We would either text, call or email. But now I haven’t heard from him in 2 weeks. I knew it was a risk when he left. Is it time for me to move on and forget about him or do I keep waiting for him? I just don’t know what to do.

Dear Heather,

Long distance relationships can be quite challenging, especially when there are stressful circumstances involved. Your boyfriend is doing his best to establish his life in Puerto Rico, and his six month projection doesn’t seem to be an unrealistic one.

Unfortunately, your boyfriend is so wrapped up in finding work and spending time with his kids that he definitely is experiencing a financial pinch. The money he went down with didn’t last as long or stretch as far as he anticipated. I’m not sure if he lost his phone or it was shut off, but that certainly has a lot to do with his silence.

You will hear from him in December, and he will reassure you that he will be coming back to you. You already know that your man is no angel, but he is doing the best he can to remain true to you. While he hasn’t crossed any lines yet, he is on the brink of pushing some boundaries. Not being able to connect with you is starting to take its toll.

The two of you had a good thing going, and he hasn’t officially cheated on you or forgotten about your relationship, but he does go out socially. The honorable thing to do would be to honor your current agreements, and give him time to reach out to you and explain his disappearance. So, while I can’t say that you should call it quits before you hear from him, I can say that you should continue living your life and going out with your friends.

When the two of you do reconnect, it looks as if you will change the rules and boundaries. You will agree to stay in touch, but not necessarily remain exclusive. Unfortunately, this time of freedom is more likely to keep you apart than it is to bring you two back together again. Unless something happens to change this course, it is very likely that he will make his home in Puerto Rico.

Either way, you will be fine.

Ext. 9226

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