A Better Life?
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Dear Psychic Daphne,
I’ve been with my husband for 14 years, and I saw some relationship red flags while we were dating but I chose to ignore them. After we married our relationship went downhill. So much of our marriage has been miserable. I stayed anyway. We are in somewhat of a better place now, but I look back on my life with him, and all the relationship red flags, and I see all the sacrifices I’ve been making. I know I can’t do anything about past choices, so I’m working on letting go and forgiving myself.
The last few years have been difficult for me physically. There are days I spend hours just sitting because I’m in pain and I have no energy to do much else but sit. I still desire a better life even though I know a miracle will have to occur to obtain it. My question is, do you see a better life for me, or much of the same life I have now?
Thank you, and blessings to you.
Psychic Daphne ext. 5417 responds:
Looking at you and the relationship red flags, I can see you face a crossroads. The time you’ve been sitting and doing “nothing” has made you reflect and has given you a new perspective on how life has been. Frankly, I don’t think you could continue on in this way even if you tried! Believe it or not, that is really great news!
I do see positive change ahead for you (something you would call a miracle), but it’s more from your own desire to have a better life than just sitting back and waiting for that big change to come on its own. Habits and patterns, as you know, take work to reform, but I believe for both you and your spouse there is an improvement on the horizon. However, you have to both want it. Not only want it but actively pursue it!
You have both retreated into your own lives and put less effort towards your relationship, so there’s been a natural sense of it drying up. He feels it too, but it’s been this way for so long, neither of you knows exactly how to approach it. It reads as a very beneficial time for an early spring cleaning of the soul for you and hubs!
Rather than sitting and wishing those relationship red flags weren’t there or that you’d have seen them, accept that you needed that medicine in order to find a new level of yourself—the self that could overcome hurdles with someone you care about and even restore love that feels lost. He’s not perfect and neither are you, but there’s a reason you chose each other. Keep choosing! That’s powerful stuff!!
I believe that the future bases itself on our actions and nothing just happens without some desire for change. This need has been with you for a long time and while you can look back on any relationship red flags you saw in him while you were dating, the relationship troubles really are 50/50. Sorry to say it, but it’s true. You both have a part to play in this dance, so why not learn some new and exciting steps together?
The grass is greener where you water it, but you knew that already! Focus on change. Think about what miracle could be waiting and believe it is possible for you because I see and believe that it is! For you both! Believing it is possible will change your perspective on things over time, and it will be inspiring!
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