It Could Be Your Most Powerful Persuasive Tool
It’s your first date and you’re really attracted to him. How do you get him to like you?
You’re on a job interview. How do you get the interviewer to remember you instead of other applicants?
It’s the biggest business meeting of your career. The future of your entire company may depend upon whether you can get another company to buy your products. You know your product is great, but how do you get the other company’s representative to agree?
The answer to these questions is that you must develop “rapport.” Pronounced “ra-póre,” it means having a close and harmonious relationship with another person or group. It’s being “in sync” with another. An example of this is when you hear someone say, “We just clicked on our first date and have been together ever since.”
If you’re like most people this experience is rare. Usually, it takes time to establish rapport. But in situations like those above you need to develop rapport quickly and effectively. Luckily, creating instant rapport is easy to learn.
The ability to create virtually instant rapport is based on a simple concept: People like people who are like themselves.
The process of creating instant rapport uses simple techniques to get people to believe you are just like them. Here are two of the most used methods:
Talk the Talk
Everyone has certain key phrases. They might be short, like “uh-huh” or “you know” or something longer such as “I hear what you’re saying.” Everyone also has a type of accent. It could be extreme or so mild it’s only heard in certain words. For example, some people pronounce the “t” in “often” while others do not.
If you sound like another person, that person will think you are like them. This will help establish rapport. The secret is to occasionally include the same key phrase or accented word. Please note that I stressed the word “occasionally.” Use it too often and the other person will think you’re making fun of them. Simply throw in one or two words on occasion and watch the person you’re talking with light up and show interest in you. Rapport is established.
Movin’ and Groovin’
People use expressions and accents so much that they become unconscious patterns. The same is true of movements. Perhaps a person strokes his chin or crosses his legs. Perhaps she tilts her head or puts her hands flat on the table.
If you simply copy those motions that person will think you are aping or mocking them and be turned off to you. The key to creating instant rapport visually is twofold: wait before acting and be similar without imitation.
Here’s what I mean:
Every time the person finishes saying something, he leans back in his chair. Don’t immediately lean back. Wait until there have been several back and forth communications and then lean back.
If a person emphasizes words with a wave of their right hand and you do the same (i.e., with your right hand) it will not be directly opposite of them. Waving your left hand mirrors their right. So use your left hand, on occasion, to emphasize your words.
Don’t do the same action. If the other person crosses their legs, you can just cross your ankles. If they make large sweeps with their right hand, make a small movement with your left hand, perhaps just turning it over.
Did It Work?
There are easy ways to tell if you have effectively created instant rapport. Talk quietly. If they lean forward, they’re interested. Watch for nodding and agreeing with you. Watch for smiling. If they do these things, you’ve got ’em! If they don’t, increase the use of the techniques slightly.
Donald Michael Kraig graduated from UCLA with a degree in philosophy, and has become a certified hypnotherapist and Master NLP practitioner. His book, Modern Magick, is the most popular step-by-step course in real magick ever published.