Speak Up: You Get What You Deserve

When Good Things Happen to Bad People

Kuuipo Asks: “Why do people who do and make bad choices get away with it, and most times at the expense of good people who feel punished?”

Carmen Responds:

Dear Kuuipo,

This is something I have pondered for years, and I’d be lying if I told you that I know the answer to your question. The truth is, sometimes good things happen to bad people, and crappy things happen to good people, and there doesn’t seem to be rhyme or reason behind it. What I have learned is that there is no “bribing of the universe.” I can be the best and kindest person and crap will still happen, people still die and some people remain selfish, inconsiderate, weak-minded, miserable, hateful and whiny jerks. It’s the nature of life.

The only thing we can do is focus on the things we truly have control over. Being a “good” person overall still attracts more good things than bad, and if you take a look at “bad” people, you’ll notice that their lives really don’t tend to be all that happy. Getting away with stuff has yet to produce true happiness and merely creates an illusion. Most jerks I know are anything but happy. They may have stuff, the title, the money, but if you take a closer look, it’s all superficial crap and those who they call “friends” couldn’t care less about them, because they’re just as shallow or screwed up as they are. Birds of a feather flock together, and tools attract other tools. So in the end, they aren’t really getting away with anything. And for those who keep getting hurt by tools, well, they’ll need to ask themselves why they’re staying around, instead of getting rid of them.

“We are attracting and creating a particular dynamic that reflects something we need to learn, grow, and evolve as a person.” – Giovanna ext. 5214

We all have choices and maybe your perceived punishment is for the lack of decision or action you are taking. If someone keeps hurting you and treats you badly, it is on you if you are the one who keeps on sticking around for more.

I really do believe that being kind, compassionate and caring attracts other such individuals. Maybe learn how to set your own boundaries and you may find that there are fewer “bad” people in your life, which translates into less drama, less pain and less anger over the perceived injustice. In the end, I feel we all do get what we deserve.

“Remember, nothing changes until we change our approach.” – Maryanne ext. 9146

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35 thoughts on “Speak Up: You Get What You Deserve

  1. mai.... Philippines

    what a nice article… i also realized that even though how good you are you cannot please those people who think that they are much better than me. i really print this article so i can share this to my office mates.

  2. Lisa from Chicago

    Yes, this article tells it the why it is. If you keep allowing the people that hurt you, keep hurting you. What are you really learning. Nothing accept, the emotional damage that they will keep doing. You need to cut them out of your life. Or keep suffering the consequences.

  3. vica

    awsome, “we can not bribe the universe” helped me to realize that everything is up to you ,and the chance u may take or not,and the people u deal with – they are same people as u are (bad or good).My choice now to have a choice in a first place,wich is :do i choose to be happy or do i choose to endore myself to be misereble

    senceraly yours vica

  4. manohar hinduja

    I feel is very good thanks to you for sending me all this and wish to learn so many things till in my life
    Thanks & Regards
    manohar hinduja

  5. Sissie

    I asked myself that when my husband had affair. X2″ and yet he became assistant principle, he got his house, me and family back. The grown kids get bent out of shape if I say one neg word when he is gone. Yet I am the one who suffers every day with reminders. Running into her where I work , and her son at the store. How he treated me. Now I regret taking him back. And he has no conscious at all. Never going away uh

  6. Bridget

    I have been in this situation twice and you are right. It took me a long time to figure this out for myself; but I had to learn the hard way and it really is true. I can not put it into better wording than what’s above myself!

  7. Coreen

    Love your explanation, insight 😉 and answer, Carmen!! I esp. think the last paragraph is Perfect!!

    No matter what someone else does or doesn’t do, we should still be kind, compassionate, caring toward others and true to ourselves!

    Great job, Carmen!
    Hugs & Blessings,
    Coreen @ VOS

  8. amy

    As a mother of 2 I finally became engaged to the man of my dreams 2 yrs. ago .. even after learning of his illness of mind called psychosis. We struggled many yrs. learning to deal with things Gary believed were of truth but when in early Oct. of last yr. I was confronted again with yet another accusation of infidelity that was of his own minds deception this began the final and last straw for us both in our loving relationship. And he left me.
    His inability to see the truth and lack in taking his medication responsibly and communicating respectfully brought me to a place in my life where I felt consumed and plagued in a world full of hate an inhumanity.
    After reading tonight this article I literally stopped dead in my tracks and took a moment to listen to what here was being said to me. Through reading the above I realize the need in life to attract “truelove” is to become what we feel inside and not continue on a path of destruction with people or around them who bring us down and refuse to see or know their own truth in life and love.
    I thank-you from the bottom of my heart for showing me this page that came to my email to day and allowing me to know the truth for myself about life and how the affects of others can completely help or destroy our love.

  9. Rita Waiter

    You know I’ve been struggling with that in my work enviroment. I really needed that confirmation.
    We all get punished for what someone else has done and I’m tired and struggling with the fact of
    should I look for other means of employment because I can’t afford to just up and quit my job, even though I’m working for commission only and my employer is making it more and more complicated to even produce my sales to make any money. So to make a long story short I feel as if I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.

  10. Annetta


  11. Eunice

    I believe this is caused by Karma and reincarnation. It’s our past lives that create what seems to be injustices, when in fact they are justified. Too bad our past lives are hidden from most of us, but I’m sure there’s a reason for that too. If we knew all of it we wouldn’t advance like we can not knowing.

  12. christine

    Since I accept and believe in past-lives (reincarnation) therefore we come back in a future life to correct things we left undone or did badly in a previous life….perhaps until we get it right….in other words the question is; was the grand plan to really let mere mortals evolve into…perfection with the event of each generation? I wonder, at this…so much so during my two years of religious study, my Hebrew Scholar Professor from Oxford and I contemplated this very thing and had a long-running intense discussion about the possibility of this…I’m convinced it’s very possible….and links us to the very… Deja Vu experiences we encounter in each life…and we can’t quite connect the dots…Why? because we’re not supposed to…but to learn through experience and figure it out for ourselves as we evolve into a higher being… Could it be the reason we want to keep up with the Jones…is because, they may be a little more advanced/evolved than some people, so they set the example…and we strive to keep up or surpass them? Hmmmm…or is the grass really greener on the other side of the fence…or why am I so attracted to that man or woman and perceive them as a possible soul-mate…could it be we were before and now we have a chance to make it even better together this time around…?

  13. Pamela Sandra Dovell

    I agree with you. I am one of the nice people who’ll give the shirt off my back to help someone and always get taken for. I’ve lost thousands of dollars this way. Well not so much anymore. I’ve learned it’s my own fault I’m where I am now. I’m starting over and leaving these so called rip off thieves out of my life and I’m not afraid to tell them so. They really don’t have any true friends because there all alike. Can you believe just about all of them are family members? I may be more alone now but, can see the light at the end of the tunnel. What has been lost is lost. What I’m gaining is more selfworth. I truly believe all these bad people come from familys who have allowed (enabled) there children to grow. They were allowed to have everything they wanted and in there adult life, will screw anyone over to get it. All in all they will stay miserable until they turn themselves around. Usually it will take a wake up call, some not. The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. Karma will win in the end. Thanks for letting me vent this truth.

  14. Cheryl McKeough

    Thats what I just went theough, Lots of verbal abuse, he constantly broke up with me which caused much emotioal turmoil for me. he put his hands on me more then once, he didn’t kick the shit out of me but the scars run deep. I had low self esteem but the labeling name calling has brought me to a all time low. He dropped my stuff off got a text that we dont belong together and that was the end. Four years and thats what i got. I put a restraining order on him because I knew he would be back or I would go back in the hopes that he would seek some help because in march he said he need help I beleived him. Two weeks later he found a new girlfriend his response was i knew we were done, he does think of me misses me and still loves me but said he would never do this with me again. he always told me that he treated only me like this after reflecting on the four years to get my own closure. I realized he verbably abused his ex wife and called her names just not to her face he said it to me, and his ex before me he did the same thing to however he did do this to her as well not just behind her back.Him just walking away and not looking back he has done to many woman incliding his own children. Also since 2005 he has had four relationships and each one that ends he gets into another one two weeks later so I choose not to take this personal its him. What makes me mad is he can just move on without realizing the damage he causes for others. He is happy, in a new relationship and me i sit he trying to recover from all the things he did to me and he could care less. I feel like crap in therapy 3 hours a week but him not talking to me and hearing me out makes it difficult to move forward. Its not fair I was good to him and his son and family members and he made sure they dont have contact with me. My own son told me I wasnt here for him and my daughter emotionally for four years that my world revovled around him and his son the guilt i feel for doing that our relationship has improved since he left. For mr I live minute by minute with a constant reminder of what he did to me and feel shame for allowing myself to keep going back for more. There is nothing I can do he moved on and dont care!

  15. Yolanda

    Everytime I’m going through something you post something pertaining to my situation I love this post and it is so true…. Thank you I needed this!!!!

  16. Larksmy

    I like your realistic down to earth response. I also deeply appreciate your use of the word ‘tool’. Well done:)

  17. J

    I’ve thought about it too… I think it’s a question of will. Most people that harm others seem to have decided that the end justify the means. They are focused, intense, magnetic. In a way, I think it could be one of the components of the law of attraction.
    Now, I believe that they don’t know real happiness, or real freedom. They always seem to be driven by wanting more. They are not satisfied with who they are. They often play games, which leads them to not being true to themselves.
    They think they are happy. Why not?
    I guess we’re hurt because we see what they could have been, their potential of being a great human being. We feel we are losing, or being played, because we are kind, and this kindness is often at our own expenses. I think I, anyway, should learn not to give what hurts me. And if I gave and the pain comes later, I have to try to forgive myself, knowing that I’ve chose to be true to myself. Too bad if it was the price to pay. Let’s learn and move on! Next time, I’ll be more conscious of who I’m dealing with, and my choices will be more aware. And if I choose to do the same thing again, at least I will be aware of the risks I’m taking.
    The thing is: I will not feel like a victim of my kindness. Even if I’ve been played. Hey! Everybody learns, and nobody said that life on Earth was going to be a piece of cake!
    Hang on!!! 🙂

  18. Terri Salvador

    I truly believe the hapiness has many meanings dor different individuals. And as an individual ones must take responsabilties for their own actions. So I goes by those who do good deeds will have a positive effects in due time as well as those who do bad deeds. You’re responsible for your own outcomes. God creates everything to make us hapiness, it’s our own decisions that detemine the outcome so ones must remain positive under the most difficult situations which ones is experiences beacause it’s shall pass. Mantra every situaton is temporary………………….

  19. Maite Aretxevaleta

    Bla …Bla…Bla !….still you know in your heart that mean people with mean souls do exist and they are and will abuse of innocent ones. Change approach?….that will mean for an innocent and good person to change….and that is not the correct doing !
    So I will say….life is what it is….unpredictable and you will have to live it the way it comes to you, as it has been writen within you from the moment you were conceived.. If you are supposed to have the chance to maneuver it that is not a different approach…..that is what you were supposed to do, But unfortunately, humans also carry “sentiments….that is what make us “feel”….and when we are hurt we do suffer.
    I happen to know an abusive man….has a sour life….has been married twice and divorced them both….has two older sons to day that when they were young, he , this man the father stopped working so to elude maintenance, just about a year he lost his daughter he had with his second wife, 13 years old, she had been born with Cystic Fibrosis. Punishment for his bad life?….why thru that pour young girl?…althought it looks like, isn’t it ? An he, well, his life continues within the same pattern, he does not change….stiil abusive and cheating, smiling to women only to get things and monies from them….he lies in so many ways. And his life continues and he lives much better than others who do work honestly all their life.


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