Getting Through the Holidays With Style
Oh no, here it is again… the time of year where we absolutely must visit family members, or they visit us. I know that many of you cringe at the thought… however, that could be a big part of the problem! These folks may not be the kind of people you normally have around you, and there may be some differences that really give you nightmares, but let’s face it, the more you focus on those differences, the harsher the reality of spending time with them becomes!
We all have people in our lives that for one reason or another irritate us. Now I can’t fix that, neither can you, and yet what we can do will surprise you in the affect it will have on the overall serenity of your holidays!
Start with a review of the logistics of the “visit,” look at the times when it’s easiest for you to be around them, and the times that it is the hardest. Look into ways to direct the energy one way or another; for instance, if they’re staying three days, and two is your patience limit… arrange a day trip for them with their child, your love, to go without you! Or add more people to the mix so that you have some people there that are a delight for you to be around… it adds balance and harmony!
Now, in order to REALLY help you to navigate family, you need to get really honest with yourself. Just to yourself, sharing this with your lover isn’t necessary, but could be a bad idea! WHY don’t you like them? Yup, that’s what I said—what exactly is it that irritates you? Now separate those “quirks” into these three categories:
1. They (fill in quirk) because of the limitations of their lives. Poor social habits, due to no social experience, or, speaking too loudly, due to poor hearing, etc, etc…
2. I am annoyed by (fill in quirk) because of my own limitations. I am a clean freak, so I don’t like messes, or I was raised in a quiet small family and they speak loudly and have many family members, etc, etc…
3. I do not know why they (fill in quirk), or why I am bothered by it. Yet, I do know that it is only for (fill in number) days and I CAN and WILL not be harmed by being accepting of this for that amount of time!
So, I think you see where I’m going with this. Acceptance is a good practice, and if their presence brings happiness to someone in your household, it is an act of love to be a part of that. We as human beings can be very severe in our judgment of others, for your own well being this holiday season, practice being compassionate with those who are more of a challenge, it will have much better results than being irritated and stressed out! I promise… in fact, if it doesn’t work out, all your anger and stress will be fully refunded!
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